The Juicy Truth About Why Relationships are so Difficult

Relationships are difficult because they force a level of vulnerability that makes both people reveal who they really are. Deep down we all fear being ourselves, we fear we are not enough for our partner, and we fear that if our partner knows all of our flaws they will not love us. It is critical to love and accept each other physically, emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually exactly as you are when you meet without wanting to change a thing. Acceptance is the key to success in a lasting relationship.

It is also hard because it forces us to look at who we really are. Relationships provide a mirror that is necessary for our own personal growth and it certainly is not easy. When we are alone we can convince ourselves of anything, but in a relationship we have accountability. This means we see things in ourselves we do not always like, but this is how we grow and improve. It is important to be grateful for the mirror and the awareness that our partner brings to us.

Choose a partner who allows you to feel safe, particularly if you have suffered from P.T.S.D. This way when you do disagree your partner can soothe you rather than escalate the argument. Disagreements are a normal part of relationships, but you can get through them with the right person when you know you are on the same team, remain respectful, protect each other, and stay loyal and loving.

You will know you are in a healthy relationship when you when feel:

• Acceptance: you both accept yourself and each other exactly as you are without wanting to change anything. You love your partner flaws and all. You both want to practice personal growth.

• Security: you protect each other and have each other’s back through thick and thin. You know your partner would do absolutely anything for you. You feel safe emotionally, physically, financially, and spiritually.

• Laughter: you laugh and are playful and have a sense of adventure with your partner. You both enjoy similar things and there is a sense of ease. You should also enjoy everyday life together. You do not have to worry about looking silly in front of your partner because they love that about you.

• Disagreements: you can respectfully disagree without putting each other down, name calling, or disrespecting. You can still honor your own opinions and point of view.

• Space: you are comfortable doing things apart and independently as we as doing things as a couple. You can give each other space because you have complete trust.

• Loyalty: you would never think about cheating on this person in fact there is no one you would rather see. You would never do anything to risk losing this person.

You never need to force a relationship. If you are not happy or even worse, if you are with someone you feel dims the light of your soul by emotionally or verbally abusing you leave the relationship. No one in the world can complete you but YOU. Be o.k. with being alone and be confident with who you are before entering a relationship so that you can have a solid foundation on which to build your life together. Relationships are intended to help us reach our full potential in personal growth. Choose wisely because your relationship will affect all aspects of your life ranging from your career to your sleep habits.

Love & Light,

Libby

P.S. I appreciate you taking the time to read this. If you enjoyed it please hit the heart and feel free to share it with your friends. Many people are struggling in relationships and we all deserve happiness. Just a reminder if you are on a desk top the side bar has a link, mobile users please scroll to the bottom, and a code '“gratitude” for 30% off at Cresent Treasures which has stunning and affordable jewelry! A small percentage of your purchase helps me to support the work I do.

Overcoming Trauma through Higher Consciousness

The only place where fear exists is in our minds and yet it holds us back from accomplishing most of our dreams.

There is no worse feeling than being trapped, but what if we are really only trapped by the confines of our own emotions? Fear is not fatal. If you fall simply get back up. Take the analogy of a toddler learning to walk. They take a few steps before falling and as parents we joyfully cheer them on. The child may sit, laugh, or even cry before getting back up and trying again with forward momentum. It is important to remember that child, as well as that resilient spirit, is still within us all. It is easy to blossom into our best being when we are loved, but when we have suffered trauma our brains are wired for protection and it becomes harder to live from a place of love and vulnerability. Sometimes we have to be our own advocate and cheerleader until we find a mate who can support us in the ways we need and that’s ok too. In fact, it is extremely healthy to learn to be independent.

Trauma, by definition, is any deeply disturbing experience.

Most of us by adulthood have experienced some form of trauma to some extent. People who experience more traumatic events such as witnessing death, going through abuse, rape, war, or a severe accident may develop post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), which is a psychiatric condition. Doctors are recognizing yoga and meditation more as late as some of the best healing modalities for PTSD. Coaching is a great way to tap into goal setting and reinventing yourself as you process and learn to express your emotions. Painful events wake us up and make us show up in life. Sometimes something we think is bad turns out to be our greatest blessing. Spiritual growth and higher consciousness come from dark and difficult times. But, with that new awakening we often are drawn to an entirely new course for our life that a life coach can help us to navigate.

“It is how we respond to a traumatic event that determines whether trauma will be a cruel and punishing Medusa turning us into stone, or whether it will be a spiritual teacher taking us along vast and uncharted pathways.”

— Dr. Peter Levine

The Key to Overcoming Trauma is Higher Consciousness

Avoidance and isolation are very common practices among people with PTSD which makes sense, but the only way to overcome the trauma is to face the FEAR of the emotions and to go through the pain rather than avoid it. FEAR after all is false evidence appearing real OR said another way face everything and rise! When we illuminate the darkness in our hearts and minds the demons and monsters can no longer whisper to and control us. We take back our power. It goes back to the saying, “What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger.” Surround yourself with supportive people who will encourage you to continue your journey and pursue your purpose in life. Nothing comes easy and it certainly does not come if we do not try for it. It is very important in the healing process to allow ourselves to feel every emotion and to process those emotions in constructive ways. So for example when you feel angry and need to punch something maybe take a kick boxing class. Start by setting a clear vision for what you want in life. Be extremely detailed. Envision it as if you have already accomplished it. And remember to expect some set backs along the climb to the top.

Each time we have the courage to push our edge in a growth mindset we are liberated.

Life weaves us in and out of peaks and valleys for a reason. We reach the top of that mountain peak for a moment of glory, before riding the back down into the dark valley once more. This is the natural cycle of life. This is how life continuously challenges us and then allows us to rest. It really is about doing the self-work, building our own confidence, following our passion, and living the life we love. Often we have to go inward to find what we are looking for through observation, self-study, self-acceptance and self-love. And then have the courage to face our fears and take that next leap of faith when we are challenged. When you are on top of the mountain in your glory live it up and let that momentum give you the courage to carry you through the darker times which will unavoidably come. Keep practicing self love and self care along the journey. Remember to stay humble and kind. You will be surrounded by miracles and as you reach this higher state of conciousness those miracles will become more apparent.

The moments of awakening are generally triggered by intense psychological turmoil.

In these moments of triumph during awakening the importance of the past and the future fade and we become fully immersed in the present where we feel safe, joyful, unscathed, divine, and connected. You feel the ultimate sense of gratitude. In yoga we call this Samadhi, or enlightenment. It is the place of no division. The place of oneness with all beings. This is the goal of all human life. Maslow would call this Self Realization or Transcendence. Each time we have an “Ah ha moment” and suddenly everything makes sense, each new accomplishment, each level of understanding, each fear conquered these are all examples of moments of awakening. Suddenly stress fades away, you stop comparing yourself to others, you no longer feel a need for anything, and a sense of utter contentment overcomes you. Imagine complete relief and total ecstasy.

Anytime we become emotionally stuck, our lives become repetitive and we fail to move forward.

Emotionally free people by contrast are more likely to feel secure trying new things, staying in a growth mindset, pushing their edge and enjoying more of those peak moments where confidence is ultimately created. So, challenge yourself to push your edge, try something new once in a while, say yes. Get unstuck. We only get one chance at this beautiful life so we might as well live it the way we want. It is never too late to start over and reinvent the life you love. Fall in love with your life all over again.

I hope this blog will help you face your fears, overcome your challenges, rise to the best version of yourself, and if you are working to overcome trauma I hope you are able to keep putting one foot in front of the other so to speak and just keep going one day at a time facing one hurdle at a time. Each peak is a huge victory on your part so pause and be proud of yourself.

Join my online Overcoming Trauma and Anxiety to Create the Life You Love and Deserve Workshop

Healing Wishes,

Libby

P.S. I hope you will scroll to the bottom for those on your mobile phones and for those on computers I hope you will notice the side bar and visit Cresent Treasures! I am super excited to be an affiliate of theirs and represent their stunning and affordable jewelry! By shopping and using the code “gratitude” you will get 30% off and it will help support my efforts in writing! I will be showcasing new athletic wear soon too so stay tuned! I only represent brands that are high quality and that I believe in.

How to Admit You are Stuck in an Unhealthy Relationship

One way to know if you are stuck in an unhealthy or toxic relationship, is if it is costing you other important relationships.
You need to really be able to step back and evaluate your friendships and other family relationships. Are you being isolated? Are you being talked down to or manipulated. Truly listen to your loved ones because sometimes they need to be your voice of reason when your mind has been so manipulated by the person you love.

Often, the person we think loves us, is emotionally abusing us. Sometimes, they are not even aware because they are covert narcissistic. And other times they are aware and are narcissistic and want to control or manipulate the situation. Either way, it is unhealthy. Especially, in the case where children are involved and neglected as a result of being squeezed out of the relationship altogether. It is terribly heartbreaking to watch. Yet, sooo many people endure it. It is more common than one would imagine.

I would just encourage all of you, as my friends and readers, to please be aware of the signs of both emotional abuse and of covert narcissistic tendencies. Emotional abuse is equally as harmful as physical abuse, and although we do not see the wounds, the light in the soul is dimmed each time and the self esteem is deeply damaged. Those wounds go far beneath the surface.

We can ALWAYS change and reinvent our lives. I am living proof. So please, if you see a friend or family member silently suffering- offer to help by listening to her story, maybe offer to help find her a good therapist. Most of all, let her know she does not have to stay in that situation. I think personally most women sadly feel stuck financially. But, I can tell you it is very liberating once you realize you really CAN make it on your own. So, I hope my list of ways to Level Up in 2021 will help inspire a few people to take a leap of faith and truly improve your life. You deserve to be happy and free! And if you feel confused- you are not happy and not with the right person! You are being manipulated.
Peace & Light,

Libby

How to Practice Empathetic Listening to Strengthen Relationships

Do you practice empathetic listening in your relationship?

Communication is a critical component in successful relationships.

The thing is you do not necessarily have to be a good communicator, you just need to be kind, caring, and willing to try! Showing your partner you can actively listen with understanding and patience and that you truly care about what they are saying will go a long way. There may even be times when you do not understand and you disagree, but you can feel where they are coming from and still listen with empathy.

Remember, you are always in the foxhole with your partner. You always have their back. Stay grateful for one another and show that gratitude daily in simple ways. When you disagree do so in a way that is still respectful and does not hurt anyone’s feelings. Words can be forgiven, but not often forgotten.

Empathetic Listening:

1. Listen to understand- Know that this is not about YOU. Listen purposefully. Try to understand what is being said and not just what is relevant to you. Repeat back what was said paraphrasing what you heard to be sure you understood. Give your partner the chance to clarify if you missed anything. If at anytime in conversation you feel triggered by a negative feeling or emotion, try to stay present in the conversation, and focus on listening. Call a respectful time out if it gets to the point where you can no longer focus your attention.

2. Ask open ended questions- avoid providing solutions. Sometimes people just want to talk to clear their mind and are not looking for answers. Instead, show interest by gathering more information. Ask relevant questions, keeping the discussion about the idea or issue at hand.

3. Avoid distractions- put phones and computers away before starting the conversation. Turn the T.V. And music off. Give your full attention. We have two ears and one mouth for a reason. If you get distracted by other thoughts bring your awareness back to the present conversation.

4. Practice Non-Judgement- watch for preconceived ideas about the topic being discussed and never criticize. Remember, you are on the same team.

5. Watch Non Verbal Communication- much of what we say is through body language and tone of voice. Be sure to sit in a relaxed way with fists and hands relaxed. Try to talk in slow calm tones so that the information can be better perceived. Eye contact can be very helpful in facilitating a deeper connection. Please do not try to guess or jump ahead to what your partner is going to try to say no matter how well you feel you can finish his or her sentence.
   

When we talk about empathetic communication it is important to know it applies to all relationships, not just romantic ones. So, when you gather with family over the holidays remember to embrace these five tips- especially if it is a story you may have heard for the umpteenth time!

Thank you for reading and listening to my thoughts. Stay warm and bright!

Light & Love,

Libby

Ten Tips for Manifestation

Are you familiar with the Law of Attraction and how to use it to manifest your goals, dreams, and intentions?

The Law of Attraction is basically the the ability to attract whatever we focus on albeit positive or negative. It is said to be the most powerful law of the universe and it works for relationships, money, joy, health, career, and whatever else you seek. Just like gravity it is always in effect. In essence what we believe we will achieve.

Knowing what we want to achieve is the first step. We need to get very clear about our vision. If we do not know where we want to go, how can we get there? Setting a clear vision is critical. The universe will respond and reward that clarity. So here are the ten steps for manifestation!

1. Positive affirmations- Some examples are, “I know my worth.” “ I am worthy of accomplishing my goals” “ I will receive abundance.”

2. Scripting- Write the story of exactly how you want your life to be as if it has already happened. Be very detailed and clear.

3. Have a deep belief and conviction in your affirmations and vision ( if you do not believe it, it will not work. You cannot fool the universe. )

4. Be purposeful with your thoughts and actions aligning them with your goals.

5. What you focus on the universe will deliver to you. So keep your eye on the prize.

6. Your thoughts become your outcome. Double check and carefully curate what you think about.

7. Be true to who you are and do not seek external validation.

8. Always trust your intuition and stay flexible with your plan. Life is not linear.

9. Create small goals and large goals. Set yourself up for success. Do not procrastinate.

10. Surround yourself with successful positive people.

Dream, Believe, Achieve….romance, vacations, health, and wealth. All is possible.

Remember that we cannot fool the universe and the Law of Attraction is powerful. If you try to manifest while in low or negative vibration you will only attract more negativity.

You might ask how does one manifest positive, or better things, if they are homeless, without a job, or just got dumped. Well, the best way to get into a place of higher vibration is to practice gratitude. Do anything you can to sincerely get to a positive place before you try to manifest and then it will be effective and the universe will magically respond.

Start with manifesting something small like a cup of coffee or a call from a friend you would love to hear from. It will bring so much joy and excitement. Then you will see you can manifest bigger more powerful intentions. Be the energy you want to attract!

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this. I hope you all have a great weekend doing what you love with the ones you love and starting to manifest all your dreams ✨

Love & Light,

Libby

P.S. What are you interested in reading about next? Please comment below. Also I would love for you to hit the heart button if you enjoyed this post and follow me on instagram @levelupwithlibby.

Should I Stay or Should I Go Now?

How Healthy is Your Relationship?

Struggling relationships have become a very common thing in todays modern world. Cheating, lies, deceit, betrayal, manipulation, verbal, physical and emotional abuse, co-dependency, people looking for the other person to complete them which is simply not possible, and many other problems contribute to the turmoil in relationships. I am certain none of us want to fail our significant other so why are so many relationships struggling and falling apart? 

Sexual Freedom

The revolution of the 60’s brought sexual freedom that forever changed the dating scene. Sex before marriage was no longer taboo and there were no longer rules for dating. Then in the 90’s dating websites entered the picture. Now, between social media, Tinder, Bumble, Plenty of Fish, and all the other sites we are engulfed in a culture of hook ups, temptations, one night stands and people who are jaded by past break ups, parents who suffered bad marriages and insecurities. You might have a great relationship and still have some mild paranoia and trust issues. 

Are you Being Emotionally Abused?

We should always treat our significant other with honesty, loyalty, and respect. If your loved one starts talking down to you or disrespecting you in anyway that is unacceptable. Our partner should never parent us, shame us, put us down, belittle us, or make us feel as if we cannot do anything right. The purpose of a relationship is to elevate each other so that we can reach our highest potential. Hurt people hurt people. In some cases there is an underlying psychological problem such as narcissism. In the case where the abuser was abused as a child that deep wound often surfaces as them being abusive. They can seek help through therapy and anger management, but it takes very deep inner work and few are committed to doing it because it reopens painful wounds. Sometimes, as hard as it is, you have to walk away, have zero contact and never look back because that is the only way to take your power back and stop the person from crushing your soul. 

Emotional abuse is equally as damaging as physical abuse even though the wounds are not visible on the outside. It damages the soul, breaks down our confidence and self esteem, and makes us feel shamed. Sometimes the verbal and emotional abuse are obvious, but other times they are more subtle and manipulative and it may take you time to realize what is happening. If they gaslight you you may even feel crazy. If you recognize any of these traits in your relationship it would benefit you to seek therapy or counseling to rebuild your confidence. Then, spend time alone relearning who you are and doing things you enjoy. Finally, find a group of positive supportive people to surround yourself with who can inspire you and support you. 

How to Find the Right Person

With so much skepticism it is difficult to date. I talk to so many people who feel like marriage is horrible and love is hopeless. I will tell you from the bottom of my heart, I believe marriage can be the most wonderful union of two people. Maybe it takes two or even three tries to get it right, but I know I am not going to give up. I just know a lot more about what I am doing at 45 than I did at 21 that is for sure and I know far more about who I am as an individual. There are plenty of great men and women out there who still desire a respectful committed relationship. After spending some time alone take it slow. Be friends with someone first. Look for any red flags before taking it to a physical level. Set boundaries and communicate those and then be ready to walk away if they are violated. Be sure you can laugh and have fun with this person and they can regulate their emotions. Be sure you share the same values and visions in life. Look for someone who will have compassion for you and a willingness to work through problems and admit to mistakes. Remember, the purpose of a relationship is to help you reach your full potential in life.

There is no reason to get ugly and burn bridges.

When the Relationship has Fizzled; letting go with grace

When you feel like the relationship has fizzled out have the decency and respect to communicate with your significant other. Do not stay and build resentment in a relationship where you no longer desire to be. The worst is finding out through someone else that your significant other is with someone else. Yes, it happens all the time. Do not complicate things more by cheating. Honesty is the best policy. It may hurt up front, but it will make healing easier than betrayal. Both people ultimately deserve to be happy. Likewise, if and when it ends do not hold grudges and smear your ex’s name around and tell all the dirty secrets of your relationship. Let go with dignity and remember the admiration you had in the beginning. When you hold a grudge it only hurts yourself. Give yourself permission to forgive yourself and your ex when you are ready so that you can move forward and create space in your heart for whatever is coming your way. 

Love & Light,

Libby

P.S. I have started writing on Quora and would love for you to follow Level up in Life there. There are many other inspiring writers that share their stories on relationships as well as how to reduce stress on my page.

How to Survive and Thrive The Holidays of 2020

Holidays may look and feel different this year whether that is because of Covid-19 restrictions, a recent change in your relationship status, or because you are away from home for the first time. It is important to embrace the current situation the way it is, let go of past traditions and expectations, and create a new experience that feels right to you. 

Humans are naturally resistant to change and during the holidays we gravitate towards being mentally and emotionally on edge. Thanksgiving tends to be more laid back than some of the other holidays because it is mainly about football, food, and family. It is that last part that is conducive to some conflict and resistance though. Whether it is who makes the better green bean casserole or spending time with the in-laws holiday’s are likely to bring out the tension. They are especially stressful when you are going through a break-up, divorce, are in a toxic relationship, or are newly uncoupled. On top of it all, 2020 is throwing Covid-19 into the mix just to see how we really juggle our relationships and how good we are with patience and adjusting plans.

Navigating how to share children when they are involved is part of the difficulty. Try to do so with the interest of the children at heart. Be fair and try to make decisions as business partners so that emotions and ego do not get in the way and cause additional harm. Children find holidays magical and we do not want to take those priceless years and memories away because of our differences.

I remember the first year I was divorced. My ex and I were trying so hard to be amicable for the sake of the kids. He tried to include me in their dinner X-Mas eve and I just was not ready. My Parents also tried to include me in the family celebration and I was not ready. I needed to be alone and yet I was sad and somewhat angry I was home alone. I needed to process and work through those emotions though. I needed that time. I skipped my traditional routines and fixed myself a cheese platter for dinner with a glass of nice wine. I watched a movie and it turned out to be a great evening. After the kids got home, I tucked them in, read Twas the Night Before Christmas, and then wrapped the presents and went to bed. I was able to pull out of my funk after fully processing my emotions. Christmas Day was wonderful and I received the gift of healing. Remember to accept yourself where you are and allow your emotions to flow freely. There is no right or wrong way to cope during the holidays, especially the first one on your own.

This is a strange year for all of us with the limitations on gatherings. What is most important is to make the best of it in the way we can as individuals. My family will be FaceTiming with my sister’s family this year and with my niece. It is hard when extended family cannot all be together, but I am very grateful for technology. Wherever you are this year, know that you are never really alone. We joke that 2020 has been an awful year, but it has given us the opportunity to spend time alone, to reflect, to spend time together as a family, to work from home in many cases and all of these things are truly gifts. Prologed isolation is damaging, but we can still stay connected and very plugged in to one another. We are just finding more creative ways of doing so and at the same time becoming stronger as individuals and getting to know ourselves. 

Give thanks for what you have rather than what you do not have and the universe will provide even more. Great things are coming! Celebrate the victories and let go of what no longer serves you. Eat the leftovers and indulge in the pie. Live the life you love and love the life you live. That is what it is all about my friends. 

Many Thanks to YOU,

Libby

P.S. What are you doing this year for Thanksgiving? Please feel free to comment below. That is one way that we can come together collectively and eliminate some of the feelings of isolation. Sending you love and light as I indulge on my stuffing and pecan pie ( yes I love my carbs 😉).

Overcoming Seasonal Anxiety and Depression, The Pandemic and Beyond

Depression has tripled during the pandemic.

How are you feeling today? How often do you pause and check in with yourself to examine how you are really doing on a mental level? So often, we go along with the daily grind, we get asked how we are and we answer fine like robots but, are we? It is no wonder depression is rising at an alarming rate during the Pandemic with new social norms, parents having to suddenly become teachers, facing isolation again with another wave of potential lock downs, experiencing death of loved ones, and people who have had to either work from home or tragically have lost their jobs. On top of those major stressors, we are now going into the dark and blustery months of winter, where we typically see an increased 2-3% rate in seasonal affective disorder (SAD), which is a common type of depression. Most of us are definitely struggling this year, but some more seriously than others.

In my coaching experience I have been asked how to recognize the effects of stress and this is a great infographic.

Awareness of how you are doing and being honest with yourself is a really important step in staying healthy.

The duration and severity of seasonal affective disorder can vary significantly from individual to individual. We are in a time where it is critical we take care of ourselves both physically and mentally. Long term, or chronic stress not only causes depression, but also contributes to life altering illness such as heart disease, obesity, and neurodegenerative disorders. According to Mental Health America, mhanational.org, “ The number of people screening with moderate to severe symptoms of depression and anxiety has continued to increase throughout 2020 and remains higher than rates prior to Covid-19. In September 2020, the rate of moderate to severe anxiety peaked, with over 8 in 10 people who took an anxiety screening scoring with moderate to severe symptoms.”  It is important to know when it is more than mild or seasonal depression and to know when to seek help.

There is no doubt about it stress is bad for our health. The good news is there are things we can do to ease the symptoms. Take charge and stay on top of your wellness plan.

10 Ways to Ease Anxiety and Mild Seasonal Affective Disorder

1. Expose yourself to light (sit by the window, go outside, or consult your doctor about luxlight box therapy)

2. Maintain a healthy diet (soups, stews, foods high in vitamin C, roasted vegetables)

3. Stay Active (avoid the urge to sleep or stay inside. Try snowshoeing, sledding, yoga, or indoor activities like board games)

4. Journal

5. Laugh (consider watching a comedian)

6. Meditate 

7. Try a new hobby 

8. Listen to Weightless, by Marconi Union ( according to Mindlab International induces a 65% reduction in anxiety and 35% reduction in usual physiological resting rates)

9. Practice self care ( this might be a bubble bath, a manicure, a massage, a nice dinner out)

10. Know when to seek help National Suicide Prevention Hotline 1-800-273-8255 YOU ARE NOT ALONE

I admit I prefer warmer weather, however, when my son was very young he would stand at the storm door and scream “out-side”. In fact those were two of his first words after the basics lol. He left me no choice but to take a trip to Dick’s Sporting Goods store and ask for the warmest coat and a pair of waterproof ski pants. I did not care what they looked like I just knew I was going to spend A LOT of time outside with my toddler. It turned out to be a ton of fun and I got in touch with my inner child. We made snow angels, had snowball fights, went for walks, and we both slept better than ever! Having the right outdoor wear makes all the difference in comfort and warmth. I did not spend a lot of money and it was well worth it. 

Remembering that everything is temporary helps keep our emotions in check. Never give up hope of better days.

We will all be overjoyed to reign in the New Year and kiss 2020 goodbye, but the truth is we have a lot of uncertainties left to deal with. The more proactive we can be with our health and wellness, the more equipped we are to handle and also enjoy the finer things life has to offer. So first, check in with yourself from time to time and practice good self care. Next, check in with friends and family. Make sure, even in these times of social isolation, that we stay connected via FaceTime, emails, texts, phone calls, and outdoor socially responsible visits. Practice random acts of kindness. Possibly even consider adopting a pet to bring you loving kindness, comfort and joy. Know that you are never alone. The good news is things are going to get better with patience and perseverence. We must remember to practice gratitude each day even for the smallest things. All great spiritual warriors realize that it is through the darkest times that we experience the most growth. Today, I am grateful for YOU. Thank you for stopping by to read this blog and just for being who you are in this world. You are special and you are loved.

With great hope and gratitude,

Libby

Reclaiming Self Love After a Breakup

Reclaiming Self Love and Independence After a Breakup

When a relationship ends you feel shattered and broken, but it is very important to acknowledge the fact that it is the relationship that is broken and you are still fundamentally whole. It is time to reclaim self love, rebuild your resilience, and re-establish your authentic voice. If you were in a toxic relationship you have probably given your power away for a very long time. One of the biggest things we initially miss is the physical touch, the hug, that person who was always by our side. You might have the temptation to return to your ex or to have a fling, but those are destructive behaviors that will cause even more pain and heartache. I would strongly encourage you to spend this time alone and rebuilding yourself rather than compromise your own healing process.

It is very normal to dread doing things alone after a break up, but try to embrace it. You might feel like the “third wheel” joining friends, but go anyway and be ok doing things alone as well. Remove all the masks you have been wearing from previous programming and get to know yourself. Try new activities or revisit ones you have not experienced in awhile. It often takes hardships to discover the very best part of ourselves. We go through dark trying times and then come out better than ever.

I did not show up in my own life until after I had had my own kids. I was 30 years old and ran my first full marathon. It was that experience that allowed me to grow and realize that I could be myself and not just who my parents wanted me to be. After that I began my yoga journey and evolved even further. Eventually, I outgrew my marriage and found my authentic voice. After my divorce I went through a really dark time, I made all the mistakes, and then picked myself up, found an even deeper strength and chose to reinvent myself. I now know that I had to experience all of that to truly be able to put all the pieces together in my life, find deep understanding, and I now can help others. Without that dark night of the soul moment I would not be where I am. So I have complete gratitude for all of the breakups and heartache.

Healing takes time and patience. When you experience the dark night of the soul you feel lonely and sad and thats ok. But, I am here to tell you that it is temporary and it gets so much better. So please my friends, use the time to get to know, honor, and love yourself . Determine what it is you really enjoy doing and then do more of that. Explore what your best traits are. Determine what values are important to you. And then practice self compassion. Go easy on yourself as you are healing from the heartache of this break up. It may feel like you are even mourning the death of a loved one, it hurts so badly, and that is ok. Allow yourself to feel all those emotions as long as you do not remain stuck there.

Love and accept yourself before you can love and be loved.

For you men out there, sometimes expressing your feelings is harder than it is for women or at least openly talking about it. Having a social group, or even a therapist, to be able to open up to often helps get our feelings off of our chest. For all of us though, it is important to feel our feelings and to express those in constructive ways because when we shove them down inside that’s when they build and then we end up with resentment and negative energy. Please seek counseling if you feel you are depressed or struggling to function. Only when you show up and know who you really are and what you value can you eventually show up for a future partner. 

Be aware of the inner dialogue occurring in your mind. Question your inner critic. Sometimes our fight or flight response causes our thoughts to become distorted. Finally, set boundaries. Go back to that list you created of values and things that are important to you. Also look at areas that were problematic in your previous relationship. Set boundaries that will help prevent you from being hurt again. Anyone who respects you will respect your boundaries as well.

10 Ways to Cultivate Confidence

1. List your strengths

2. Try new hobbies

3. Explore your interests

4. Practice positive self talk

5. Question the inner critic

6. Accept compliments

7. Set boundaries

8. Practice self love and care

9. Recognize triggers and learn coping mechanisms

10. Ditch the drama and chaos

PC:Paul Garrett, Total Soulful Journey

Give yourself the love you need. No one can ever take that away from you. You will no longer need outside validation and you will feel a stronger sense of confidence. People will be more attracted to you because they will feel your positive energy. From this place of self love and centeredness you will then be ready to move forward and date again. When that time comes take it slowly. Learn to trust yourself. Do not go diving straight into taking someone home to meet your family or going on vacation together. Consider short dates where you can talk and get to know each other. Build a friendship and make sure you enjoy activities together and share the same values. Discuss your boundaries and be very clear about what those look like. You deserve to be loved and to be treated with respect, loyalty, and honesty. If you remain single that is ok too, after all, you do not have to share your last bite of cake with anyone that way!

Light & Love,

Libby

P.S. I welcome you to comment below on how you feel about this post or about topics you would like to know more about! I appreciate you taking the time to read this and I welcome you to follow my instagram page @levelupwithlibby and join along in our community! Reach out if you would like a coaching consultation and stay tuned for my upcoming class on Breaking Free from Toxic Relationships to Live the Live you Love

Signs of Toxic Relationships and How to Break Free

Identifying Toxic Relationships and Knowing When to Leave

Relationships can be fantastic when they are healthy, but unfortunately we are seeing a trend where over half of long term relationships today are toxic. Sometimes people carry unhealed wounds from their past that continue to project pain. Sometimes the problems stem from the fact that the relationship was entered into before one or both of the individuals loved and accepted themselves. As a relationship coach, I believe it all begins with awareness. Then, we must love and accept ourselves before we can love and be fully loved by another. No one is going to complete us or be our other half. Happiness is an inside job. However, A relationship is intended to help us grow into the best version of ourselves. The person we choose to spend our life with should be someone who allows us to make mistakes, who forgives us when we mess up because we will, and who accepts us the way we are. They should make us feel safe as we continue to learn, respect and encourage us to keep expanding, and love us free from expectations. They should be our biggest cheerleader and our most gentle critic. Likewise, it should be a symbiotic relationship where we do the same for our partner with equal respect and enthusiasm. We should never put our partner down, especially in front of others and ditch the bickering.

Unfortunately, many people, both men and women, enter a relationship with the best intentions and then a few months down the road realize the relationship has changed and does not feel good any longer, but instead of leaving stay in a toxic relationship. In 2020, according to mentalhelp.net, 87% of men and women have experienced an emotionally abusive relationship. Identifying a toxic relationship can be difficult because the emotionally abusive person often uses gaslighting which makes the abused partner literally feel crazy. Sometimes it is more subtle like isolation or just nothing getting resolved in arguments. As a coach, I have heard women say they finally had the courage to leave a toxic relationship only to have people shame or blame them for being the one to break up the marriage. Little did people understand the silent abuse she had taken for years. So even if you are reading this and you are in a healthy relationship, please educate yourself and know the signs of a toxic relationship so that you can be an advocate for your friends. 

13 Signs of a Toxic Relationship

1. Feels bad all the time

2. You avoid voicing your opinion because there is just no point

3. Effort is one sided

4. One person is “score keeper”

5. Physical, verbal, or emotional abuse

6. Passive aggressive behavior

7. Manipulation

8. Overly judgmental

9. Nothing gets resolved

10. Lack of privacy

11. Lack of respect for boundaries

12. Lies, deceit, lack of trust

13. Isolation

Before you think of leaving a toxic relationship it is very important to rebuild your self confidence. Most likely your partner has, on some level, broken you down, but YOU are not broken. Therapy, counseling, or coaching are very helpful in rebuilding your self esteem. Next, I strongly encourage a good support system of friends and or family. This can even be in the form of a support group on Facebook of other people who have been through a similar relationship. Support and connection are critical in overcoming toxic relationships and helping find strength in times of weakness. Then, prioritize yourself. You have probably been a people pleaser or self sacrificing. Get to know yourself. Spend time doing things you enjoy. Do not allow yourself to get drained. Then once you feel your energy start to rise, start asking yourself what stories keep repeating in your relationships? Then ask yourself what choices you are making that are contributing. This way you begin to take responsibility and you take your power back. You will begin to see how you will make different choices in the future to break the cycle. Next, it will be important to forgive your partner. This may be difficult and it may take time. You do not even need to voice the forgiveness to your partner, just give the gift of forgiveness to yourself so that you are free to move forward. Do not rush this step. Sometimes journalling helps. Until you are able to forgive, you will carry this into a future relationship though and the cycle of toxicity will continue. So, forgiveness is crucial. Harboring a grudge will only harm you. 

Setting boundaries will protect you from being walked on by friends, family and in future relationships. Do not hesitate to set and keep firm boundaries. If someone does not respect your boundaries that is a sure sign they do not respect you. Next, do an inventory of what personal values are important to you. This will help prioritize what you want in life. And finally, Get clarity on what you really want. I want you to visualize every detail and dream really big. That beautiful clear picture is what you deserve. 

How to Break Free From Toxic Relationships

• Establish a strong support group 

• Stop Self Sacrificing

• Rebuild your self esteem and confidence

• Prioritize your self

• Take responsibility

• Forgive the past to make room for the future

• Set boundaries

• Do an inventory of personal values

• Get clarity on what you really want in life 

Some relationships can be saved and corrected with coaching or therapy and effort. But please know that not all relationships work out. No matter how much you love the person, if the relationship is extremely toxic, or if the if the other person is emotionally unavailable or abusive in any way, you cannot make the relationship healthy. It is ok to do what is best for yourself. Reclaim your life. In some cases you will not get the closure you may need. You may need to block that person completely and give yourself closure. Proceed slowly, forgive yourself, forgive your partner, and take the time you need to heal. 

Love and hugs,

Libby

P.S. I would love to hear from you in the comments. I welcome your personal stories as well as your input. Thank you so much for taking the time to read my blog. Wishing you love and light!

Find Your Freedom, Spread Your Wings, and Fly Like an Eagle

Find Your Freedom & Spread Your Wings

Do you feel called to make a major change in your life? Fall is a great time to let go of what no longer serves us and to prepare for what is coming. Maybe you feel your relationship is coming to an end but you are afraid to take that final stand and break up. The thought of being on your own can be scary and down right daunting. All great changes are superseded by chaos. Give yourself permission to take your life back. If you are not living the life you had dreamed then stop where you are, hit the pause button, and recreate it. When you hold a vision of your goals, you set an intention, and the timing is right, go for it without hesitation. The majestic Bald Eagle symbolizes loyalty, devotion, freedom, truth, and the divine. You deserve all of these wonderful qualities and they have been deep within you all along. You deserve to spread your wings and soar with ease and freedom just like the eagle, but sometimes you just need to step out from where you currently are and take a look at your life from a different perspective. Never let anyone hold you back from achieving your greatest good.

The Eagle symbolizes man’s connection with the divine because it flies higher than any other bird. It signifies inspiration and the release from bondage and all that holds us down. It is a sure sign of victory and freedom. But the eagle also reminds us that no bird can stay in the air forever. They must come back to earth. The eagle has four toes. In numerology, 4 is the number of solid foundations. By returning to earth the eagle stays grounded with Mother Earth and when he soars he returns to the heavens above. Therefore, he maintains his ability to fly high and yet stay grounded. As above, so below. A great reminder of our connection with all things, our oneness with the universe.  

In many ways, the idea of the eagle soaring above reminds me of my dream world and all the magical possibilities that I hope will someday come true. The grounded nature of the eagle reminds me of my current real world which fortunately for me is not all that bad. But, its always good and great fun to dream bigger and to hope for more, that is what keeps us going and gives us motivation, right? And for some of us more than others. In another way, the eagle soaring high symbolizes breaking the bondage of all that held me down previously where I am now able to soar freely and fly effortlessly. Many years ago, when I was in a very unhappy toxic relationship and feeling stuck. I could not even put my finger on what was really wrong. Now that I am on the other side it is very clear that I was being emotionally manipulated and abused and it was so slight and often behind closed doors that it took a very long time for others to finally notice. It took even longer for me to finally wake up and realize what was happening and gain the strength to take my power back. My spirit was being broken and dimmed with each insult, each lie, and each time I told a story that was made fun of, or when I was talking and he would just walk out of the room completely disrespecting what I was saying. I finally gained the courage and left that relationship and I am now that eagle soaring free and I feel connected with the divine within me. Now that I am on the other side I am able to see clearly and it makes me sad when I see others in abusive relationships. All I can do is create awareness in others because each individual has to take their power back and do the work themselves. This is now my life mission. I want to empower others to give themselves permission to take their lives back. To create the life they love and to let their light shine bright.

October is Domestic Abuse Awareness Month. 

Domestic Abuse includes physical, verbal, and emotional abuse. If you feel anyone you know is being abused offer a helping hand and a listening ear. It is a terrible battle and it is very hard to talk about and come forward with. I know because I lived it. But once we bring darkness into the light it can no longer hurt us. If you need help call 1-800-799-7233. With COVID 19 Domestic Violence cases sadly are even higher than usual. As of April 18, 2020 there were 690,714 reported cases and 35,443 deaths in the US. 1 in 4 women are the victim of severe physical violence and almost half of all women and men have experienced psychological aggression by an intimate partner according to the Domestic Violence Hotline. THIS IS A MAJOR PROBLEM!

So take the lessons from the eagle. Save your energy when you can. Hone in on the vision you want to create for your future. The eagle has a great sense of timing and you want to mimic that. Put your heart and mind into your vision and you will fly high into your wildest dreams. Just as the eagle, you will tune into your golden opportunities and grab them while they are within reach. Do not waste your time on people or things that do not bring you closer to your goals or make you a stronger better person. No one will complete us the way that movies romanticize. Relationships should increase our mental and emotional well being though. Relationships are intended to help us grow into the best version of ourselves. They hold a mirror up to the best and worst parts of us so that we can grow and evolve. They are intended to be accepting, trusting, and respectful partnerships.

7 Highly Effective Habits of Eagles

1. Eagles flock together

2. Eagles have a strong vision

3. Eagles do not eat dead things 

4. Eagles Love the storm. Other birds flee, but eagles fly into it using the wind to rise higher

5. Eagles test before trust in

6. Eagles Train their children to maturity

7. Eagles retire until new feathers grow

*PLEASE TAKE A MINUTE TO WATCH THE FOLLOWING YOUTUBE VIDEO WHICH WILL HELP DEEPEN YOUR UNDERSTANDING OF THESE EFFECTIVE HABITS. IT IS VERY INSPIRATIONAL.

The Truth Will Set You Free

Freedom begins in the mind. Do not get shackled by fear, or by pain, or shame from the past. Do not settle for a limited life. You were designed to soar high and fly free. Sometimes responsibility may feel like it weighs us down but the eagle being monogamous, loyal, and truthful, reminds us that when we live in truth we have the power to soar higher than we ever could have imagined. 

To live in truth not only means to speak honestly, but also not to be delusional about who we are as individuals, or in regard to relationships. It is very important to be honest with ourselves and to know when our significant other may no longer be treating us with the respect we deserve. We have to stand up for ourselves. Sometimes the relationship can be saved and that is extremely admirable. But, in the case of emotional abuse it rarely can and you have to stand up for yourself because the abusive person will rarely change. So, take your power back and know your worth. Seek counseling to build your own esteem back up and rebuild your independence. Just like the eagle you are one with the divine and you are strong and courageous. You will soar once your words and actions are in alignment and you are living your truth. You will be free and travel far with a soul full of light and a heart full of love. And, when you are ready, you will find a companion that is worthy of your divine glory and partnership.

With Open Wings,

Libby

10 Ways to Increase Resilience and Improve Mental Endurance

Mental Endurance

When we hear the word endurance we often think of long physical events like a marathon. But, even in those last few of the 26.2 miles it becomes every bit as much of a mental challenge as a physical challenge. How often do you assess your mental endurance? Resilience is our mental ability to recover from misfortune and to stay positive in trying times. I like to think that people who are highly resilient have high mental endurance because they are able to persevere through the difficulties in life by using self discipline and will power. According to Psychology Today, “Resilience is the ineffable quality that allows some people to be knocked down by life and come back stronger than ever. Rather than letting them drain their resolve, they find a way to rise from the ashes.” 

When your roots are firmly planted in faith, love, and family storms may shake you but they won’t knock you down. This is one very resilient, brave, and determined young woman and her momma is very proud of her.

Characteristics of Resilient People

• Independent/ self sufficient/ authentic

• The ability to regulate emotions

• They have Rational thought process

• Confident

• Optimistic even in trying times

• High emotional intelligence

• Knows their purpose in life

• Good sense of humor

• Loving & compassionate

• Flexible mind

In general, one must be aware of themselves and their surroundings. They must be able to manage their thoughts, feelings, and emotions effectively and be able to communicate those to others. And, Someone who is resilient knows that life will always change and they expect the ups and downs and ebbs and flows. For people who are naturally resilient, it is not about life being easy. It is about experiencing all of the negative events in life, but still staying optimistic, hopeful, and high functioning. Those who are naturally resilient have the capacity to manage strong emotions and feelings and the skills to problem solve and communicate even while those emotions are heightened. It is the special gift and ability to remain calm under pressure and regulate stress levels. If this does not come naturally to you there are ways to increase your mental endurance, or resiliency. 

10 Ways to Increase Resilience

1. Allow yourself to feel every emotion free from judgement

2. Be mindful of your wellness emotionally and physically

3. Journal goals, thoughts, and feelings

4. Have a strong support system

5. Process your emotions with a therapist

6. Get adequate rest and down time

7. Find your sense of purpose and consider giving back to others 

8. Practice self care

9. Develop problem solving skills

10. Establish reasonable short and long term goals and take action

My daughter, Morgan, and her service dog, Beacon ( her Beacon of light and hope) in the Neurology wing of Cleveland Clinic’s Main Campus.

I consider myself to be highly resilient with a good sense of humor and I have sure needed it recently as life has thrown every challenge possible my way. In fact, just this week I was a couple hours north at Cleveland Clinic with my daughter who is undergoing tests to try to find out what is causing numbness that seems to be spreading from her toes, legs and now hands, and vision disturbances. We are seeing a Neuromuscular specialist and I have faith we will get to the bottom of it. But there were a series of things that went wrong and for someone who was not resilient it may have been bad. With the Presidential Debate in town and roads blocked, a mishap with an appointment, and then our GPS taking us to our home address in CANADA rather than Ohio we simply laughed hysterically as we passed the Pennsylvania sign. All we could do was turn around and get back on going south. You see, it is all about mindset and perspective. The ability to bounce back and to make the best of every situation. Yes, I get frustrated sometimes, but it does not do any good to stew and stress. Life is far more fun when we are laughing and making the best of it. So think of yourself as a highly trained mental athlete, if you will, and train yourself to increase your resiliency.

Light & Love,

Libby

P.S. Happy October 1st! New month, new opportunities to grow, learn and improve! Did you know October is National Domestic Violence Awareness Month? Domestic Violence Includes verbal, emotional and physical abuse in children and adults. Stake a stand, be a voice ❤️ Domestic Violence Help Hotline 1-800-799-7233. People who have been emotionally abused have an extremely difficult time building resiliency and they often apologize for everything. If you spot someone who is unsure of themselves and apologizes for everything be patient with them and offer to get them help. Emotional abuse is silent, but incredibly damaging to the mind and the spirit and eventually can cause long term physical harm as well.

Improving Mental and Emotional Well Being During Covid 19

Coping with Heavy Emotions During Covid 

As humans we have an intrinsic need for connection and acceptance. Beyond our basic needs of food, water, and safety Maslow categorized belongingness and love as the third most important level on the hierarchy of needs. Covid has been a trying time for all of us with social isolation, home schooling in many cases- and moms doubling as “teachers”, working from home, and new ways of life. There has been a rise of depression and mental illness as well as an increase in violence. Before the outbreak of Corona Virus, in 2018 Cigna did a National survey that showed “ loneliness levels had reached an all time high, with nearly 20,000 U.S. adults reporting they sometimes or always feel alone.” Imagine what those numbers must be now. We, as a society, are suffering not only the physical effects of covid, but we will see long term impacts from mental and emotional instability as well. 

According to Meta-analysis co-author Julianne Holt-Lundstad, PHD, a professor of psychology and neuroscience at BrighamYoung University, “ Lack of social connection heightens health risks as much as smoking 15 cigarettes a day or heavy alcohol use disorder. She has also found loneliness and social isolation are twice as harmful to physical and mental health as obesity. ( Perspectives on Psychological Science, Vol 10, No. 2, 2015) On the plus side, there are things that we can do to help improve our mental and emotional well being. 

These are all great ways to cope with and reduce stress and regulate emotions as well as vision boards, journaling, and anything positive you find that works for you.

Six Ways to Improve Mental & Emotional Well Being

1. Take care of your emotional health * (see list of ways below)

2. Take Care of your Physical Health ( eat well, move often, sleep well, avoid caffeine and alcohol)

3. Connect with others: despite social isolation we can still stay connected via FaceTime, phone calls, video chats, zoom calls, and outdoor visits with social distancing

4. Take time to unwind, try new hobby and activities, and incorporate relaxation techniques like meditation or yoga

5. Avoid too much exposure to the news. Stay informed and educated without letting it become upsetting.

6. Seek help when needed from a coach, therapist, clergy member, doctor, or contact SAMHSA helpline 1-800-985-5990 ( Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration Disaster Distress Hotline)

We hear more about caring for our physical bodies, which is super important, but very few of us are taught how to process and regulate our emotions. We are taught how to think in school, but our emotions often get overlooked, and we are not taught how to feel or how to express our feelings constructively. So as a result we are seeing more depression, more suicide, higher rates of alcohol and drug abuse, more domestic violence and higher rates of gun violence. Beneath every behavior there is a feeling, and beneath every feeling, is an innate need. When we can identify that innate need we can find solutions and begin to heal rather than create more pain and destruction. 

Yoga taught me to truly find connection between my body, mind and soul. It was time in between each posture when I would feel my own body and tune into my inner child. I gained awareness on the mat that eventually followed me off the mat and into my daily life. Yoga is more than a physical practice for me. “Yoga is the journey of the self, through the self to the self,” -the Bhagavad Gita. For me it is the perfect way to improve both the physical, mental, and emotional well being all at the same time. I understand that not everyone chooses to practice yoga, so I am offering other alternatives to help improve mental and emotional well being in todays blog. 

Ways to improve Emotional Well Being

• Be aware of your emotions and reactions to them. Allow others to feel they way they feel by being an active listener free from judgement.

• Express your feelings constructively and try to observe free from judgement.

• Practice the pause, breathe, and then think before responding rather than reacting harshly.

• Manage your stress by practicing self care and prioritizing what needs to be done. Say no when necessary.

• Take care of your physical health by sleeping well, eating well, and moving your body.

• Stay connected with friends and family.

• Find and follow your purpose. Having a sense of purpose adds meaning to our lives and we are far less likely to numb out and far more likely to succeed. 

• Practice gratitude. Not everyday is good but there is something good in every day. 

You can meditate on the floor, in a chair, sitting up, or laying down. Just begin by sitting comfortably, closing your eyes and connecting with your breath. Breathing in through your nose and out through your nose. Begin to let go of all the busy thoughts of the day and week. If any thoughts pop into mind, it’s ok acknowledge them and set them aside for later, return your concentration back to your breath. Relax your shoulders. feel your breath begin to naturally slow. It may take practice like all things in life, but it is worth it. There are many types of meditation, so do some research and find the style that resonates with you. ( Image is Libby’s corporate class in Pittsburg, Pa.)

Great Britain and Australia are both being incredibly proactive and deserve a round of applause for the work they are doing to move the mental health system away from being crisis driven and actively toward prevention, early intervention and care in the community. I have become Instagram friends with wonderful people all over the world, another great way to connect, and it is truly inspiring to hear about the global movement to improve mental well-being! I was especially impressed with and would like to offer a shout out to my friends at euda.co for their work in Corporate Wellbeing. They offer a platform unlike anything I have seen before where they offer employees access to free online guided meditations as well as access to a personal wellness consulting. There are also guided meditation apps like Headspace, Insight Timer, and Calm that are available to the general public. Deepak Chopra, in his book Perfect Health says,  with just a few minutes of meditation a day, “There were 87% fewer admissions to hospitals for heart disease were seen and 55% fewer admissions for benign and malignant tumors of all types. No one has seen reductions like this with use of conventional prevention techniques.” So get connected on social media, as well as locally, broaden your mindset, try meditation, and work to prioritize your mental and emotional well being. 

Finally I will offer my personal philosophy to you that I developed through my yoga practice which is awareness, acceptance, and forgiveness first of ourselves and then of others. When we live in this way we surrender control and remember that when we live in alignment with our authentic life everything will just feel right. The stress will naturally fade away because you will care less about the opinions of others and more about what feels right in your body, mind, and soul. You will begin to let go of those who no longer serve you and you will attract those who support your highest well being. I hope this awakens, inspires, and empowers you to live the life you love. You were born to be joyful and you have a unique gift to share with this world. Let no one dim your light, even in these dark trying times. 

Peace, Light, & Love,

Libby

Set an Intention and Create the Life You Love

Whisper your Intention to the Universe

Living an intentional life means living a mindful life. It means putting thought into each decision each day to create your own reality. It means being present and is a great reminder to truly show up and live rather than to continue on “auto pilot”. In Yoga, I often encourage my clients to set an intention at the beginning of their practice. We take a few breaths in silence and each set our own personal intention. Well, in life, if we were to wake each morning and set our intention for the day we would be whispering a powerful message to the universe of what we desire. An intention is energy. And by setting the intention we raise our universal vibration. Intentions are different than goals because goals are long term and intentions are set each day. However, intentions help us stay focused and achieve our goals. 

Five Steps to Setting Powerful Daily Intentions:

1. Get crystal clear about your desires. Envision yourself already there. Focus on what you want. What you focus on you will attract. ( The Law of Attraction)

2. Let go of all limiting thoughts and dream really big, you deserve this.

3. Forget about the opinions of others and just start now with what you have.

4. Practice daily journaling, vision boards, mantras, and “I statements” to help re-enforce your intentions

5. Practice gratitude for what you currently have while detaching from the outcome of what you desire. Live in the wisdom of uncertainty. 

Libby in South Haven Michigan 2020

Think about what is holding you back. Most of the time it is fear that holds us back and yet we have nothing to fear but fear itself. Our fight or flight response was designed to keep us safe back in the hunting and gathering days when we needed the flight response to trigger the adrenaline to allow us to run fast to escape danger. Now, sadly, the fight or flight response often distorts thoughts in our mind. Have the courage to pursue your dreams. If you do not go after them you will never achieve them. If you do not ask, the answer will always be no. If you fall, get back up. If you make mistakes along the way it is ok! Think of how a toddler learns to walk. It is all part of the learning process. So take some chances. Stay vulnerable and live the life you love. 

We each have a unique story and unique gifts to share with the world. Do not be afraid to stand out. Live your own authentic life. People love to shell out advice and very few practice what they preach. Stay quiet about the pursuit of your goals and then shock them with the end results. When we live in alignment with our authentic life everything will just feel right. The stress will naturally fade away because you will care less about the opinions of others and more about what feels right in your body, mind, and spirit. You will begin to let go of those who no longer serve you and you will attract those who support your highest well being. The Universe will hear your whispers and will deliver your desires. Stay committed. Do the work. Believe in yourself and all that is coming.

Light and Love,

Libby