Each child is a miracle. Some people do not have the privilege of having biological children and appreciate that concept even more. Raising children is challenging and certainly does not come with a manual. We learn most of our parenting skills from how we were raised ourselves and from the environment in which we were raised. Some parents are naturally more loving, nurturing, selfless caregivers and are able and raise children to become respectful responsible young adults. As for the rest, well that is where we end up with people with mental health issues, abusers, and failed marriages.
If you were raised by someone who was narcissistic, sexually physically or emotionally abusive, neglectful, addicted to drugs or alcohol, inconsistent or emotionally absent you may have a childhood wound that needs healing. The excellent news is awareness is the catalyst for change. You do not have to carry the weight of your inner child anymore. You also do not have to repeat the cycle of toxic behavior. As a result of your abuse you may be an over achiever, people pleaser, maybe you have a strong fear of expressing your emotions, fear of abandonment, maybe you are self critical, or self sabotaging. Inner child wounds can manifest in many ways.
It is very important to feel each feeling. Often we try to bury the uncomfortable or difficult emotions and they get trapped so deeply in our subconscious that we do not even realize how dim the light of our soul has become. Stuffing these emotions down without processing and expressing them traps negative energy in our bodies. This trapped energy not only weighs us down and causes fatigue, but it creates anxiety and insomnia and can cause serious health problems like heart conditions and diabetes. Try to observe each emotion free from judgement knowing that it’s all temporary. Remind your inner child that he/she is safe. Then try to pivot into a more pleasant mindset by listening to music you enjoy, lighting a candle, going outside, or calling a loved one.
If you are healing an inner child wound be patient with yourself. You have experienced trauma. You may not have been aware that you were blocking all this trauma of the hurt child by mindlessly scrolling social media, binge drinking, compulsive exercising, eating, or shopping. Maybe you have even become a workaholic or have experienced toxic relationships as a distraction or compensation because you are uncomfortable with your feelings. It is time to learn to love and accept yourself. Reinvent the life you love. You are safe now and you are loved.
Ways to Heal The Inner Child Wounds
Acknowledge the child within yourself- accept the things that caused pain in your childhood and bring all of those things into the light so you can heal
Listen to what your inner child has to say- does he/she feel abandoned, angry, lonely, rejected, betrayed, hurt, neglected
Write a letter to your inner child from your adult perspective offering insight about what you did not understand then. Consider things like, “how did you feel?” “ what did you need from me?”
Meditate- allow yourself to sit with your feelings
Journal- journaling is a great way to release feelings and emotions, go back to childhood memories, even journal about what you wish you had experienced that you did not
Play- harness your inner child as an adult. Visit a playground, laugh, be light hearted
Therapy- it is always nice to be able to talk to a professional, especially when we are processing deep traumatic wounds
Affirmations and Mantras- “ I am safe”
Boundaries- setting personal boundaries is something most people who struggle with childhood woulds are not innately good with, so work on this and enforce them.
Feel your feelings- you have to feel it to heal it
If you are raising children please remember that words can be forgiven, but they are rarely forgotten. Children look to their parents for love, reinforcement, safety and guidelines. If you are overly stressed or emotional seek help from a therapist before lashing out at an innocent child. They learn best from loving and respectful guidance and communication rather than force, anger, and punishment that have life long negative impacts.
Bringing darkness into the light,
Libby
P.S. I am thrilled to announce registration for my Trauma and Anxiety Workshop will begin next week so be sure to register your email to receive details! I deeply believe by adulthood we have all experienced trauma on some level and we all suffer from anxiety so I am thrilled to bring this dynamic online workshop to you! Please hit the heart below if you enjoyed this blog and just a reminder to scroll all the way to the bottom or see the side bar for the stunning and affordable jewelry at Crescent Treasures ( use code gratitude at checkout for 30% discount) your purchase supports my blog and efforts.