Toxic childhoods take hard work, lots of support, and self care to overcome. Many are still recovering from the trauma.
The Juicy Truth About Why Relationships are so Difficult
Relationships are difficult because they force a level of vulnerability that makes both people reveal who they really are. Deep down we all fear being ourselves, we fear we are not enough for our partner, and we fear that if our partner knows all of our flaws they will not love us. It is critical to love and accept each other physically, emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually exactly as you are when you meet without wanting to change a thing. Acceptance is the key to success in a lasting relationship.
It is also hard because it forces us to look at who we really are. Relationships provide a mirror that is necessary for our own personal growth and it certainly is not easy. When we are alone we can convince ourselves of anything, but in a relationship we have accountability. This means we see things in ourselves we do not always like, but this is how we grow and improve. It is important to be grateful for the mirror and the awareness that our partner brings to us.
Choose a partner who allows you to feel safe, particularly if you have suffered from P.T.S.D. This way when you do disagree your partner can soothe you rather than escalate the argument. Disagreements are a normal part of relationships, but you can get through them with the right person when you know you are on the same team, remain respectful, protect each other, and stay loyal and loving.
You will know you are in a healthy relationship when you when feel:
Acceptance: you both accept yourself and each other exactly as you are without wanting to change anything. You love your partner flaws and all. You both want to practice personal growth.
Security: you protect each other and have each other’s back through thick and thin. You know your partner would do absolutely anything for you. You feel safe emotionally, physically, financially, and spiritually.
Laughter: you laugh and are playful and have a sense of adventure with your partner. You both enjoy similar things and there is a sense of ease. You should also enjoy everyday life together. You do not have to worry about looking silly in front of your partner because they love that about you.
Disagreements: you can respectfully disagree without putting each other down, name calling, or disrespecting. You can still honor your own opinions and point of view.
Space: you are comfortable doing things apart and independently as we as doing things as a couple. You can give each other space because you have complete trust.
Loyalty: you would never think about cheating on this person in fact there is no one you would rather see. You would never do anything to risk losing this person.
You never need to force a relationship. If you are not happy or even worse, if you are with someone you feel dims the light of your soul by emotionally or verbally abusing you leave the relationship. No one in the world can complete you but YOU. Be o.k. with being alone and be confident with who you are before entering a relationship so that you can have a solid foundation on which to build your life together. Relationships are intended to help us reach our full potential in personal growth. Choose wisely because your relationship will affect all aspects of your life ranging from your career to your sleep habits.
Love & Light,
Libby
P.S. I appreciate you taking the time to read this. If you enjoyed it please hit the heart and feel free to share it with your friends. Many people are struggling in relationships and we all deserve happiness. Just a reminder if you are on a desk top the side bar has a link, mobile users please scroll to the bottom, and a code '“gratitude” for 30% off at Cresent Treasures which has stunning and affordable jewelry! A small percentage of your purchase helps me to support the work I do.
What Are You Waiting For? Start Now!
There will never be a perfect time. Embrace the uncertainties and imperfections of life and go after your goals and dreams right now. The Power of Now, as described by Eckhart Tolle, describes the present moment as all that we really have. If you think about what you want and research it too long, suddenly the days whittle by and time is wasted. Just start! You do not have to be perfect or have it all figured out! Learn as you go! Strive for progress rather than perfection. Life is a journey. Once we get started with what we want to learn or do, like launching a new business, the momentum of the action builds and carries us through.
Stop creating excuses and start creating opportunities for yourself. Live a life based on love rather than fear. Love yourself enough to allow yourself to start living each day to the fullest. Conquer your small goals, your medium goals and eventually your big goals! You are capable of more than you even think is possible. The mind is a powerful muscle and when trained properly it becomes extremely strong.
Are you living a third dimension life (3D) like most people, caught up in worldly pressures, fears and limitations? Have you ever considered moving up to the 5th dimension where all things are interconnected and possible? In the 5D there are no boundaries. There is essentially no beginning and no ending. Therefore, there is nothing to fear or to hold you back from living your best life.
So go for your dreams. Start today by taking baby steps because our actions ultimately create our outcomes!
Start by declaring your dream! Forget about how you are going to make it happen and just start. Do not let anything stop you. Roadblocks will come along your path, but do not let them slow you down. What if you only had three months left to live? Would you view things the same way? Would you still move as slowly toward your dreams? Would you do things differently? I would urge you to live that way everyday; passionately in pursuit of all that you desire.
Manifesting a dream means creating new healthy habits and breaking hold patterns. You do this through self awareness. It may take time, acceptance and honesty, but if you are true to yourself all is possible. Determination Baby!
Find supportive people who can help hold you accountable and attain your dreams. You are worth it! 2018 holds incredible promise, but it is through your action that the magic will happen. The Universe will conspire to make your dreams come true once you place your intentions into action and start to live them.
Sending you all my very best wishes and energy for your forward momentum.
With momentum and excitement,
Libby
New Year Better YOU
Each new day we wake and it is essentially a reset button, a chance to start anew. And as we approach the New Year, this is truly an exciting opportunity. Each year you hear people setting New Year's resolutions, but what does that mean anyway? And… why do most people fail at their newly set promises after one short month?
I personally believe that the problem is two pronged. Part one is that we set resolutions or goals from our egos rather than our souls. What does that mean? When you live from the ego you do things to please others because it is somewhat expected of you. When you live from your soul you do what FEELS good to you and what brings you true joy from within. The other part is that we set goals based on what we feel society deems acceptable, and this is often in opposition to the calling of our souls.
So, when you set your intentions to go to the gym three times a week, or to lose ten pounds, or to stop eating desserts, or to give up fried foods… these resolutions often do not last because deep down they do not satisfy your soul. You do not want to go to the gym because you want to workout, you go because ultimately you want to be loved and accepted by others and you feel that losing weight and being fit will get you that result. That is the subconscious mind at work. Therefore, the more realistic New Year's resolution would be to work on loving yourself and self acceptance. Working out may be a part of that. The same can be said about improving your eating habits, but the desire to change has to come from within yourself.
When setting New Year's resolutions, I would encourage you to look at them as separate goals for the year ahead rather than one big thing. For example; set small easily attainable goals, medium size goals, and then perhaps one really big goal. Giving yourself some challenges is good because it is through the challenges that we grow, but we also want to set ourselves up to succeed. We want the new year to truly be a chance to grow into the best version of ourselves to date. You will not stop growing at the end of 2018, this is a beautiful life long journey. It is about learning what worked in 2017 and what you could do a little better. For 2018 visualize the new things that you want to try, the exciting places you want to visit and the ways that you can contribute to make the world a tiny bit better.
The easy part is setting intentions or goals. The hard part is following through with them. The magic happens through our actions. So once you set your intentions, find friends or mentors who will hold you accountable. Manifest your intentions by writing them down and taking action toward them each day. Another great idea that was given to me by a friend is to hang sticky note reminders to yourself on the bathroom mirror (maybe to love yourself), or on your refrigerator (to make wise decisions), and in your car (to release the road rage, and use the time in your car to relax through music or comedy or maybe just quiet reflection). Regardless, these little kind reminders to are a fantastic way to stay on track and they really do work!
I am incredibly grateful for 2017. It was NOT my best year. In fact it was rather difficult and I am definitely ready to move forward. I know that 2018 is going to be amazing! My personal resolutions for this coming year are to eat plant based, sleep more regularly, organize my home better, waste less food, give my time serving others (volunteering), travel to new places and to grow my online business, which will include videos and yoga tutorials. Those are my BIG goals : )
Happy New Year from my family to yours!
Whatever your New Year Resolution may be, remember most importantly to practice:
- Awareness each day: How are you feeling, check in and see how your goals are going….
- Acceptance: If you fall off track a day or a week do not give up! Simply start over or where you are, it is NEVER too late! Be gentle with yourself.
- Forgiveness: IF you fall off track, get derailed or decide to change course, forgive yourself first and foremost. You are allowed to change your mind.
Always F.L.Y. (First Love Yourself)
It is with great gratitude, love and excitement that I wish you all a Happy New Year full of health, love, happiness and abundance. May all of your dreams come true!
Peace & Love,
Libby
P.S. - Please help me raise the vibration as we close on 2017 and welcome 2018 and share your New Year's resolutions, goals & intentions for the year ahead in the comment section below. By writing them down we are putting them into motion and therefore into action. Thank you for helping me on my journey! Together as a community, I know we will soar to new heights in 2018!
Tis' the Season to BELIEVE
Do you BELIEVE? This is a common question that is asked to children this time of year and it most often refers to their belief in Santa Claus. But the magic is really so much deeper and more important than that. It is also about believing in the magic of all things being possible. For children at Christmas, it is the hope that they might get a gift that would otherwise never be possible.
I want to shift to reality now and ask you to pause and reflect on the word, BELIEVE…. What does it mean to you as an adult? Not just this holiday season, but anytime that you see this beautiful word. What does it personally say to you? Please take a minute to think about it and even consider writing a few thoughts down on paper.
This is one of my very favorite words. It symbolizes magic and hope. At Christmas it is the hope that magic and faith will be restored for children and that peace will be brought to the world in a quiet gentle way. But, it is really so much bigger than that! There are miracles occurring around you every minute of every day, however, we are all too often too busy and unaware of them. Believe, believe in the magic within yourself! That my friends is the greatest gift of all! You have all that you need within yourself! You have all of the answers and all of the magic, the light, the love, the faith already. Sometimes your light is dimmed a bit and sometimes it is extinguished all together, and yet that one word BELIEVE is there as a reminder to never ever give up. It is never to late to reignite your fire within, to start over, to rewrite your ending and believe in the magic of your life. Believe in miracles, because they really DO exist!
Great things are coming in 2018! So take one more moment to reflect upon 2017, to give thanks for all of the good memories that you made and to set your intentions for the things that you would like to accomplish in 2018. It is good to set some small goals and some bigger goals. Set yourself up for success, but also give yourself some challenges to work toward. You are capable of more than you may know. It is through the challenges of life that we grow and become the best versions of ourselves.
So if you have a BELIEVE sign out for he holidays, consider keeping it up throughout this winter. And if you do not, that’s ok, but when you see this word stop and pause and let it serve as a reminder of all of the magic and the possibilities that could be coming your way.
Tis the season to BELIEVE. Believe in the power of love, believe in the magic within, believe in creating the life you love, believe in yourself, believe in acceptance, believe in endless possibilities, believe in happiness, believe in forgiveness, believe in peace, believe, believe, believe……
Faith and Hope,
Libby
Over the Rhine, Cincinnati.
Watch the music video below and notice the same inspiration happening all over the world. It is these tiny miracles that bring us together, unite us, and raise the vibration. Believe in UNITY.
P.S. - If your light has gone out or you see someone whose has, reach out. WE all need to practice awareness and give love when we can to help people who are feeling hopeless, and ask for love when we need a little light ourselves. Sometimes in our culture it is hard to ask for help. It can make us feel too vulnerable, but it is also natural to feel depleted from time to time. We are all in this together. If you feel like you have no one to fill your cup, a yoga studio is always an accepting place where you will feel very positive energy. Never give up.
A Dog Gone Good Life
Do you ever come home at the end of the day and your house just feels lonely? Do you miss having a special someone around? A dog makes the perfect best friend. They are always excited to see you, they never talk back, and they are as loyal as it gets. Some dogs are easier to house train and train in general, depending on the breed and how old the dog is when you adopt it, but the process itself can be a fun bonding time as well!
Do your research when considering a dog. Choose the one that fits your lifestyle and activity level. Some dogs shed more than others, some require less maintenance and some are even hypoallergenic. Each dog, much like humans, has a unique personality. Visit the dog before deciding and be sure it is a good fit. Please commit to trying to keep this beautiful new companion and give it its FUR-ever home. Do not choose a dog based on the cuteness in a movie, for example there was a demand for Dalmatians after 101 Dalmatians, but that is not the dog for everyone. Do your research and avoid the hassle and sadness of returning a newly adopted dog when you suddenly realize that it does not have the right temperament for you. Also be sure that the dog is suitable for your kids and the other animals in your household if that is in your plan…
This is Luna, another one of my wonderful rescues. She is always happy to be with me on a hike, a drive, boating, or just laying around. Luna is an absolute great companion!
In addition, make sure that you stop at the pet store and get a few chew toys to avoid the loss of your favorite shoes and treasured belongings. Dogs love to chew on things and they are very content when they know what is theirs. Also try to give them a special space, perhaps a dog bed or a crate, in the room you most often hang out in where they feel a part of your family's life, but can comfortably retreat to while you are eating, watching tv and when the doorbell rings. In our house we named the dog bed “spot” and at first tethered our new dog to a leash in his “spot" with lots of treats and toys so he associated it as being a good place for him. Now he willingly goes there… at least sometimes, but he is still a puppy and training takes time. Just remember that YOU are the alpha.
This is Tucker's "SPOT" as the trainer recommended and it has worked very well for us. He is happy there and we now have peace while we eat and when we answer the door.
Your dog will provide you with great companionship. He or she will even hold you accountable for going on regular walks or runs, give you lots of snuggle time and will always be willing to protect you, yes even the little guys will do their best.
Consider adopting a dog from the shelter. Mixed breed dogs need homes and are some of the very most grateful dogs that you can imagine. I have rescued many dogs and I can tell you they have all been very well trained, easy going, loyal and loving.
This is Bubba, the best Pitt we have ever owned. Morgan rescued Bubba a year ago and they bonded immediately. Bubba was incredibly gentle and responsive. He was smart and craved love. Unfortunately, he did bite a neighbor and we HAD to do the responsible thing and put Bubba down. It was one of the hardest things we have gone through as a family and Bubba will forever be missed and fondly remembered. WE had him cremated, just as you would a family member, so that we could keep him with us forever. We will never understand what happened that day, but we forgive him and love him anyway.
I now own my first full bred Bernese Mountain Dog and he is truly special in his own right. But, all dogs earn a special place in our hearts. They try so hard to earn our love when really maybe it should be the other way around? Maybe if humans were more like dogs the world would be a more loving, accepting and better place!
Playfully Your Pet Lover,
Libby
Thank you Bubba for a year of joy that will last a lifetime....
P.S. - Dogs are usually discounted for adoption for the holidays, so now is a great time to adopt a pet. It will be the gift that will continue to give love for many years to come! If you have any questions about adopting a dog, please feel free to reach out and message me! I would be happy to help!
Give Love for a REAL Holiday Treat
The holidays can be joyous, but they can also be the cause of tremendous stress. This holiday season, put a little soul into your step. Too much time is spent shopping, fighting the crowds and suddenly our stress levels go up. There is a lot of pressure behind gift giving. Your kids want things that are often more than you can afford and yet you hate to disappoint them. In some instances we overextend our budgets, which creates unnecessary stress and resentment all for the latest toy or gaming system that will be quickly forgotten and replaced with a new version within months. We start buying things for people without putting much thought into it just for the sake of crossing it off our to do lists. It almost feels obligatory to give "Aunt Suzy" a gift, so we send a coffee cake. But maybe Suzy is on a diet or does not even want to eat the cake. Now she feels stressed because you sent a cake that she feels that she needs to eat out of guilt. Why do we do this? What is it all about?
The real meaning behind this holiday is the miracle that a baby was born. It is indeed a birthday celebration, but the materialism and commercialism have gotten blown so far out of proportion that rather than it bringing us joy, they often cause us stress. Did we get the right thing? Will "Aunt Suzy" like it?
We also blow through the opening of Christmas presents and then often face a period of feeling let down, after which leads to self pity…. Wondering why your loved one did not get you the gift that really would have meant a lot to you, or that one thing that you really wanted... Please, take a moment to pause and reflect this holiday season. Really think about the difference between giving from obligation and giving from your heart. When we give from a place of pure love and give only with purpose, the gift will always be well received. It will be a gift of love and joy!
Consider surrendering from the attachment to things. The idea that less is more is very fulfilling. When I find the perfect gift for someone that I know is just sooo exciting, it does not matter to me if it is just a three dollar pair of socks or a major gift. It is all about the true JOY of giving without a single thought of what I may or may not get in return.
The older I get, the less I want and need. I realize that things do not bring lasting happiness. What really brings me joy are the people I am surrounded with and the wonderful memories that we make together. It truly is more about who is around the tree than what is under the tree. Our worth is not based on THINGS, it is based on memories, love and gratitude.
So, pause and slow down. Breathe deeply and think of the people who have absolutely nothing this Christmas. Perhaps the best gift of all is giving your time to help out at a shelter, or donating a warm coat to someone in need? Teach your children to appreciate the lights, the meals and the special times that we spend together. Appreciate the little things rather than always wanting more. This is not only a Christmas sentiment, but something that matters all year round. Practice gratitude for what you do have and for your love. It is also ok to change your holiday traditions. We often get stuck in our ways of celebrating, but as our children grow up, consider allowing your traditions to evolve. The truth is that the holiday atmosphere changes as our children grow into young adults and presents naturally become less of a focus. So take the pressure off of yourself and go back to enjoying life.
Accept what is in each moment, be aware of your surroundings, as well as your words and actions. Practice kindness and spread holiday cheer. After all, as long as you are on the “NICE” list… you have nothing to fret about.
Do not get your tinsel in a tangle. Enjoy the holiday season! Winter is a time of restoration for our bodies and our souls before emerging stronger in the spring. Rest, enjoy a good book or good music, pull out some board games and enjoy what you have rather than wanting more.
Peace & Joy,
Libby
P.S. - Also remember and hold space for the people whose hearts ache more than normal during the holidays. It can be an emotionally painful and sometimes lonely time. Consider reaching out and including friends and neighbors in your family celebrations throughout the season. Remember the saying, "it takes a village," well it truly does and tis the season to give, but the gift of love, not things.
Love takes Courage and a Box of Kleenex
Have you ever been addicted to something? Have you ever suffered extreme loss? What about fears? Do you fear anything so much that it haunts you or shuts you down? There is a song on the radio that made me realize that love is just as powerful as any drug out there (watch the video below). Music is powerful. It can trigger memories, feelings and instincts. Love, however, takes you to your highest high and also your lowest low. You put your faith and trust in your significant other and sometimes with no warning you are left alone. This causes feelings of abandonment and insecurity. It causes us to close down and a little piece of us dies. Losing a loved one in a relationship is a huge cause of stress, whether it is a long term relationship or a marriage. You share memories, laughter, and intimacy with that person. Those memories are triggered for a long time to come and unfortunately cannot be turned off easily, which makes it difficult to move forward and to love again. But surrenduring to what is and knowing when to walk away is key! It allows you to open the door for what may be.
Now, lets talk about the ego. It is extremely important to keep the ego in check when going through difficult times during a breakup. We go through every range of emotions from sadness to anger and everything in between. But, compassion is critical. Compassion is your desire to alleviate the suffering of others, or your feeling of sympathy toward others. In the case of a breakup, compassion toward your Ex can be difficult, but when we set the ego aside and realize why we loved that person to begin with it is a little easier. Try to maintain compassion. In the end you will feel better for it. Positivity attracts positivity. Your heart will heal faster as a result. Remember, always forgive and rise above. Holding grudges only hurts you more in the end.
So, grab a spoon and a pint of ice cream. Binge watch your favorite Netflix shows for a day and then get outside and go for a hike. Reconnect with the things you love to do. Stay plugged into your friends and family. This might be hard if you shared mutual friends, but make the effort. If need be have open communication with your Ex about how and when you will see friends so that you do not awkwardly show up at the same place at the same time. Respect each other as you move on. Sometimes zero communication, at least for a brief period, is easier. Other times treating each other as business partners helps the transition. You will find what works best. Please just watch what you say because although words can be forgiven, they cannot be forgotten and it is easy to say things we do not mean when our emotions are elevated.
You WILL be ok despite the fact that you don’t feel like it at the moment. Everything feels better when you are in love. Do not close down to the possibility of loving again. When we hit rock bottom, we bounce back up and sometimes twice as high, meaning we end up with a better ending. You are the author and the architect of your life. So, write a new chapter. Add new characters. Try new things. Remember, you have a purpose and you are worth it. Keep moving forward and don’t lose your way. All of our roadblocks, bumps and bruises make us stronger, build our character, and give depth to our soul. They help give meaning to our lives and help us to better understand others, which help us to connect.
F.L.Y. First love yourself. Spend some time alone. Prepare yourself for your next true love by fully loving yourself. Make as many self improvements as you can. Be very honest about what went wrong in your previous relationship ~ sometimes we can improve and sometimes we cannot, but it is always good to be aware. Accept the situation, forgive yourself and your EX, and when you are ready move forward with excitement and full compassion. The heart is resilient and will love again. It is the ego that will hold you back.
With love and acceptance,
Libby
Nothing is What You Think it Is....
Is life really a grand illusion? Perhaps that is why we are fascinated with magic tricks? Nothing is really what we think it is. Nothing is what you expect. Expectations are really the root of so much heartache. Why is it that we put so much emphasis on external factors? We wear masks to protect others from who we really are. We post photos that make us look as if we live a grand or fun filled life all the time when in reality most of us struggle to keep our heads above water with busy schedules, hectic lifestyles and tight budgets.
What is it that is really important to you? What would bring you peace of mind? Just contemplate those two things for a moment. And then ask yourself, What really IS peace of mind?
I would like you to consider peace of mind really being ultimate enlightenment. Isn't that what we all strive for? Isn't it a place of happiness where worries, struggles and fears fade away? Perhaps it is different for each of us? I do not pretend to hold all the answers, but I do believe that it makes sense to think that when we arrive at a place where we accept and are happy with ourselves, we can then accept everyone as equals around us. Through acceptance we then discover ultimate happiness.
So start loving yourself. Work through anything you are holding onto from your past. Forgive and honor yourself, and work toward this ultimate goal. Believe me when I tell you it IS attainable and YOU are worth it. Life is a journey of awareness and mindfulness. Be kind and gentle with yourself and with others. If you need help, it is ok to seek counsel and read self help books, for knowledge is power when put into action.
As you begin this work week be mindful to practice acceptance and observe how much happier you start to feel as a result.
Wishing you a wonderful week,
Libby
What the World Needs Now is Love Sweet Love; 3 Ways to Combat Violence using Yogic Philosophy
There is so much tragedy in this world. The sad truth is we are not guaranteed tomorrow. However, it is important to step out of fear and darkness and live the life we love each and every day. Go after your dreams, tell the people you love that you appreciate them, and say the things that matter. Horrific incidents, such as the massacre in Las Vegas are reminders to Live the Life we Love EVERYDAY. We have to try to find something positive in everything bad or we run the risk of feeling helpless and depressed. As we send healing prayers and hold the families who are grieving today and in the coming days, weeks and months in our hearts, it is important to use this time to rise up and come together as a community.
Terrible events like this mass shooting, as well as any obstacle I come across in my personal life, remind me to return back to my personal Yoga Philosophy. There are three main principles that I live and breathe by that have helped me get through countless difficult times including; my physical and verbal abuse, recovering from PTSD, counseling and supporting others, helping my parents go through physical set backs, nurturing my own children and the ups and downs of my daily life. The following three principles when followed will truly lead you to a better place; one of growth, lightness, clarity, strength, compassion, and most importantly a place of universal oneness.
- Awareness - It begins with the physical practice on the mat and carries into daily life. Be aware of your words, actions and feelings. Then be aware of those around you.
- Acceptance - Accept yourself exactly where you are in each moment. You do not have to be perfect, you just have to show up and try your best. Strive for progress. And then accept those around you where they are, as well. Let go of expectations.
- Forgivenesses - Forgive yourself for any mistakes you make along the way. Consider those mistakes a way to learn and grow. Forgive those around you. Holding grudges and shaming people causes resentment and negativity.
Above all practice self love. First Love Yourself (F.L.Y.) then love all others. Once we realize we are all in this together, the feelings of separation, anxiety, hatred and violence vanish and unity takes their place. Once we get to this place of ONENESS, life is beautiful.
Of course, in times of mass shootings the subject of mental illness arises as we search for a reason for how and why a human being could take so many innocent lives. And then, of course, there are issues of gun control that feed our fears and cause more division among us. The truth is we will never have all the answers, but let's avoid circular arguments that make us feel self righteous and realize that such acts of hate most often, at their roots, result from an absence of love and other stigmas that make a person feel an overwhelming sense of darkness.
When someone in our family suffers from cancer or another disease, we wrap our arms around them, bring them meals and nurture them with tender loving care. But when someone we know is diagnosed with a serious Mental Illness, our discomfort and shame often hold us back from helping and comforting them because of the negative stigma associated with a serious mental health issue. That person then isolates and disconnects from society. When they withdraw, their perception of reality becomes even more distorted. These stigmas around mental health issues create even more damage in the long run and contribute to the downward spiral of the person who needs love, support and treatment from mental health providers. Mental health is not a topic that we can afford to sweep under the rug and out of sight. It should be talked about and treated like any disease.
In my research I discovered some startling statistics that I would like to share with you about mental health. 1 in 5 American adults have a mental health condition - thats over 40 MILLION Americans. Mental Health problems among our youth are also on the rise. In 2011 8.5% were depressed and in 2014 that number rose to 11.1%. What is even more startling is that 80% of those youth were either insufficiently treated or not treated at all. Compound this with the media’s negative attention on horrific situations such as these mass killings, and the people who need help tend to shy away and hide rather than coming into the light to seek help.
It is not wrong to view mental illness as a disease, but to assume it is hopeless and to associate it with shame only worsens the situation. The last thing we want to do is make the person feel so desperate and void of love, connection, emotion and empathy that they become compelled to murder. Also, people who play video games while isolated, often disassociate the feelings of human connection with real life people. This process of desensitization can carry over to real life violence when one’s sense of reality becomes completely blurred.
Ultimately we need to turn these tragic events into a time to reflect on love. It is a reminder that what the world needs now more than ever is Love Sweet Love. What we ALL need is love sweet love. Don’t allow yourself to get caught in the negative energy of this sad occasion. Instead hold the lives of the people lost up with the honor that they deserve. They were special people. They each had a story. They each had a dream. Unfortunately, for reasons that we will never understand, their lives ended too soon and abruptly. May peace be with their families and friends.
There are many things in life we cannot understand. It is important, however, that we simply keep going. Pray and believe that better days are coming. Continue to give love. Understand that it is ok to feel every emotion and it is also ok to not know and not to understand why this happened.
Fall reminds us that life is ever changing. Take a moment this season to reflect on what really matters to you. Use this time to set your intention for how you can become the best version of yourself. Live the life you love TODAY, tell the people you love that you love them! Just as the trees shed their leaves, think about a few things you might need to let go of in order to make room for improvements in your life. You were created to be a joyful and successful being. Connect with friends and family. Avoid isolation and reach for the stars! If you feel that you might suffer from a mental illness, do not feel alone for there is hope and help for you.
Remember that light always overcomes darkness, just as love overcomes evil. When we love ourselves we are able to love others. So I ask you especially in these times of darkness to dig deep, plant your roots of compassion and shine your love light. Show the world that peace and love will conquer evil and that love is really all that we need.
Love and Light,
Libby
P.S. ~ If you are experiencing symptoms of depression, suicidal thoughts or PTSD, there are people who can help you. Witnessing a horrible event like the concert shooting in Las Vegas can trigger symptoms for months to come. If you were at this concert or have friends and family who were there, please practice awareness, acceptance and forgiveness. Be gentle and loving with yourselves. I am sending you healing vibes and much love.
F.L.Y. - Put your Oxygen Mask On First
You were born with a distinct and unique purpose. You have a gift and a story to share with the world. For some of us that purpose seems more obvious while others may search a long time wondering what their purpose is. Many of us are given labels and titles, put into boxes, and programmed to think small from a young age, which makes it very difficult to find our authentic voices. We put on "masks" to escape the shame and the fear that has been cast upon us. To find our true selves we must follow our passion and do the things we love, come into the light and remove "the masks." Replace fears and insecurities with courage and self-love to propel us toward our greatest dreams. This is the journey of the self, to the best version of yourself. It starts with awareness, acceptance, self-love and forgiveness. Be authentically YOU. Appreciate YOU. Accept YOU. LOVE YOU! Until you do you cannot fully love or be loved, and you cannot accomplish your full potential.
You were born to live a joyful life. Again, you have a purpose! You are capable of achieving all of your dreams. Commit to taking baby steps toward those dreams each day. Trust the journey. Stay in the moment and always believe. Just show up for yourself each day and do your personal best.
I am humbled and honored to have been recently sponsored by Avon. They have asked me to facilitate a series of yoga events for up to 200 people in each session. I was ecstatic as these would be my largest events to date. This is one of my dreams coming to fruition, traveling and leading yoga events. However, this also scared me to death. I have what it takes to deliver, but I knew that I would have to push past my comfort zone and face my anxiety head on or I could never reach my full potential. I had to push forward to grow so that I can eventually manifest my ultimate dreams.
Last Saturday I taught a class for a large group of beautiful ladies and gentlemen at an Avon conference in Columbus, Ohio. As I walked into the room literally trembling, I flashed back to my first yoga class and how scared I was THAT day as a student and remembered that each person in the room might have the very same insecurities, which put my fear back into perspective. As I was introduced I looked out and connected immediately with the smiles. That was all I needed. I knew it was all ok and I knew in that moment that my job was to put them at ease and suddenly everything was calm and clear. My purpose was clear. My intentions were clear. My heart was clear and full of love to give. I want to ultimately lead events with upwards of 2000 people so I might as well start with 200, right? Heck YES!
I called them up to the stage for a team building exercise. Many, not all, bravely participated. I saw a little girl still seated shyly at her table. I quietly encouraged her to join the group and I was thrilled when she courageously did (imagine what that decision to step out of her comfort zone might do for her future confidence?)! The smiles on their faces as they opened their hearts and leaned back while closing their eyes and trusting one another, balancing in tree pose, was absolutely heart warming. I will never forget that day. Each of those people on stage have a unique story. Each have a dream. I now have the privilege of knowing them and I am so thrilled to have been in their lives even if only for a day. I love it when I see people step out of their comfort zones and try something new. I love when I step out of my OWN comfort zone. It is flat out exhilarating! When was the last time you tried something new? Do you remember that feeling of accomplishment? It feels AMAZING! By stepping out we connected, which also gives us greater strength. I have found my purpose, and I am still growing. I am incredibly grateful for every challenge in my life, as well as every reward.
Avon is just such a wonderful company. Let me just tell you for those who are unaware, they are the at the forefront in the fight against Breast Cancer and Domestic Violence (click on the green linked words to learn more). They do a ton of work for Women Empowerment and are constantly giving back to the community. It is truly an honor to work with them. I just want to say, "thank you" to Avon personally for helping me to reach my goals and get closer to my big big dreams. It feels so amazing to partner with a company in alignment with my personal mission and intentions in life.
When Karin Laseke, who is the District Sales Manager for Avon in Cincinnati, interviewed me to work with the company, she asked me about my personal story and what my BIG DREAM is. This really meant a lot to me and she said they believe EVERYONE has a story to tell. My yoga guru, Amber, used to say something very similar which was, "dream big Libby, dream really really big!” So, I shared with Karin that my personal vision is to travel and facilitate yoga retreats, workshops, and teacher trainings to make enough money to build a yoga retreat center, which will include a cottage on a farm. There will be a vegetable garden leading up to the cottage and then a family room, a yoga studio and a kitchen. Upstairs there will be a couple bedrooms and bathrooms. This will be a place where women and children can come and stay if they need to escape from a domestic violence situation. They can work in the garden in exchange for food so that they do not feel as if they are taking handouts. Yoga classes will also be available to the public. I have experienced physical, verbal and emotional abuse so this dream is near and dear to my heart. I have also recovered from PTSD through yoga and meditation. I want to empower women to become their best selves and know that they do not have to be a victim.
The airlines say to put your oxygen mask on first and it’s true. You cannot help others until you help yourself. First Love Yourself (F.L.Y). Show the universe what you desire and watch it conspire to make all your dreams come true! Share the good and the bad. The thing that hurts you or scares you the most might just be your greatest asset to share with the world. The world needs YOU to show up. Be your authentic self, everyone else is taken. Live the life you love and love the life you live. I am so incredibly excited for you and I can feel the energy spiraling upward already! It’s time to step out, live your dreams and become who you were born to be!
Lovingly,
Libby
P.S. - If you are suffering from PTSD or domestic violence there are organizations that can help you. Please do not suffer in silence. Get the support that you deserve! The following links can help you get started toward a better life:
We Have All Been a Little Lost in Life...
We all have an idea, a road map if you will, of what we think our lives should look like long term. As it turns out we are in control of very little in our lives, and sometimes major things happen causing trauma, depression, and even PTSD. An unexpected crisis can throw us way off course, leaving us feeling lost and frozen with fear because we no longer know which way to go. It is especially important during uncertain times like this to forge forward, or risk getting stuck in the pain, the fear and the negative energy that overwhelms us when we're feeling down. This is also the time to trust the journey, putting one foot in front of the other each day to create a new and hopeful path going forward.
When trauma happens, we are often tempted to turn toward potentially destructive behaviors such as addictions, self isolation and recklessness, which can push us deeper into a downward spiral of dispair. Whether you lose an arm, lose a job, or lose a loved one, there are constructive ways to get your life back on track by creating an upward spiral of positive energy. For example, getting up early to exercise and start the day with determination gives you positive momentum and those feel good endorphins. In addition, find something, even if it is small to be grateful for each day. When we are in a state of gratitude, it's much easier to feel better about life. Allow yourself the grace to take baby steps toward the door to happiness and the path toward healing the trauma that derailed your original journey. Be compassionate toward yourself starting with acceptance and forgiveness, then go back to our roots of awareness, in order to grasp control of your feelings and reactions to those feelings. Change is the very nature of life. Once we have the tools of awareness, acceptance and forgiveness, we are able to deal with the traumas that arise in life, or past traumas that reoccur. Most importantly look yourself in the mirror and say, "I love you" every day!
We are writing the books of our lives. Each day we are faced with many choices, some more difficult than others. When trauma is involved every decision and choice can become monumental. Connecting with friends and family and avoiding isolation is critical in healing. Do what it takes to find happiness as long as it is healthy and takes you on an upward spiral.
For me, the recent trauma of putting our very beloved dog down really knocked me off my tracks. The first day, honestly, I screamed and cried. The second day I did not want to get out of bed, but I KNEW I HAD TO PULL OUT OF THIS DOWNWARD SPIRAL, so I thought to myself what can I do? What will bring me happiness? And.... the answer was a puppy. This might be extreme for some people, but it was exactly what my family and I needed, and Tucker, the love nugget, is bringing us much love and joy.
For others they might find comfort in eating healthy homecooked meals, connecting with past friends, volunteering, watching a comedy show, simply laughing, going on a nature walk, or joining a yoga class. Just take time and brainstorm positive solutions that will fuel good energy. Numbing the pain is simply prolonging the pain and will ultimately cause more suffering for us and for our loved ones. In fact, there is something called secondary PTSD. This happens when family members are traumatized by being around a loved one who isolates and pushes them away (among other things) as a way to cope with their own PTSD. Secondary PTSD can tear families apart and destroy lives if we do not rewrite our books with happy endings.
Sadness is a part of life. It is unavoidable and it also helps us appreciate our happy days. This is really the Principle of Polarity; which is to say everything has opposites. All things can be transformed with the power of your mind. Hate can be transformed into love. Sadness can be transformed into happiness. Even an empty bank account can be transformed into a full bank account. It also ties nicely into the Law of Attraction, which is to say the power of your thinking attracts the outcome of what you recieve. So when we wake each day with positive determination, even with baby steps, we set into motion that law of attraction to bring goodness into our lives and put us back on track on our journey toward well being.
Sending all those who are suffering and hurting healing and loving vibes. Life is hard sometimes. Let's all pull together and make some lemonade out of the lemons we are dealt. It IS going to be OK!
Much Love,
Libby
P.S. - For those of you who feel paralyzed by severe trauma, depression or PTSD, there are additional resources available to help you through your journey. You are never alone!
Recommended books:
Overcoming Trauma Through Yoga - Reclaiming Your Body - by David Emerson and Elizabeth Hopper, PhD.
Daring Greatly - By Brene Brown.
Untethered Soul - by Michael Singer
Additional Resources:
PTSD Hotline - mentalhelp.net
Now Mental Health - nowmentalhealth.com
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline - suicidepreventionlifeline.org
All Of The Answers You Seek Are Within YOU....
Have you spent your life wishing you could ask someone a question, needing closure, feeling abandonment, fearing something...... or just wondering what your true purpose in life might be? We face many different questions every single day! Our minds are very complex tools. But truth be told, all the answers you seek actually lie within yourself. Yes, YOU and you alone have the power to unlock all of the answers you could ever need to know.
It all begins with awareness. For me it began with a growing awareness on my yoga mat that then carried off the mat and into my daily life. That awareness evolved into a deeper consciousness. After you develop awareness, the next step is acceptance. Accepting yourself as you are and practicing full self love. Until you fully love and forgive yourself of any flaws you cannot truly accept love from others nor are you available to fully receive love.
Developing the following practices leads one to higher levels of consciousness and clarity:
• Self awareness
• Acceptance of yourself
• Self love
• Acceptance of others
• Letting go of judgement
• Releasing ego
• Daily gratitude
These can be a difficult steps because the ego jumps in and gets in the way. The ego has a place and is there to protect us, but we need to be aware of how it tries to influence us to keep it in check. Finally, there is the step of practicing being grateful for all that we have in daily life and living a life of grace. When we reach this spot suddenly all of the drama fades away and clarity arises.
Listening to your voice within, your intuition, is your best guide. Your intuitive voice is there to protect you, to lead you in the right direction, to keep you on the upward spiral. When something feels wrong, most likely IT IS. Listen to your gut. Know your worth. You were born with a purpose. You may not know the purpose yet, but if you listen to your intuition it will lead you in the right direction and the answers you seek will come. The universe will show you your path. Trust the journey. Have faith and patience. Keep your heart open and live with love, passion and a firm belief that all of your dreams will come true. YOU ARE WORTHY, YOU ARE SPECIAL, YOU ARE LOVED, YOU ARE JOY, YOU ARE LIGHT! Say positive affirmations to yourself if you feel a little low or lost. And write down your goals each day. Never give up. All is coming!
Namaste,
Libby
P.S. - If you want to learn more about awareness, acceptance, gratitude and empowerment, join me on my yoga retreat in beautiful Costa Rica this coming October. Click here to learn more.