Divorce does not have to be messy and ugly. You do not need to harbor resentment. Choose to redefine love and you can all live happily ever after.
8 Tools for Turning Obstacles into Opportunities
Looking at Obstacles as Gifts
Facing life’s obstacles usually surfaces negative emotions such as fear, worry, disappointment and shame. But, when we let go of attachment to outcome and accept each situation as it is it is easier to digest. What if you looked at each obstacle as a gift rather than a set back? There is a Chinese Proverb that states, “ In every crisis, there is opportunity.” One of our greatest gifts is the ability to look at obstacles as a chance to see or do things we may have otherwise missed. They may in fact lead us to our true purpose and put us on a far better path. So whether you are struggling with a relationship, a job, finding your purpose in life, struggling financially or anything else please use the following tools and never give up. Something better is always around the corner.
8 Tools for Turning Obstacles into Opportunities
Practice the Pause Any time you feel you have been thrown off course practice the pause. Stop what you are doing, close your eyes if possible, and take several long inhales and exhales through your nose. Feel your shoulders come down away from your ears. Now, examine the road block from all angels. After practicing the pause we are better equipped to see things from multiple perspectives rather than a place of ego reactivity.
Examine the Emotion Allow yourself to feel any and all emotion that may surface when an obstacle is put in front of you. Try to observe your feeling and then go deeper into the why. What is the root of the emotion. If you are angry it is because anger or fear is within you but why? Once you understand the root cause you can begin to heal. Expectation is often the root of heartache. Try to see things how they really are rather than how you perceive them to be.
Accept the Situation as it is Forget about how you thought things were supposed to be and accept them for what they are. When we face road closures we naturally find an alternative route; often following the detour signs in front of us. Well, what if we follow the signs of the universe and surrender to what is. Better things are on the way.
Forgive Yourself We are naturally our biggest critic. When we face obstacles in life it is not a failure, but instead a learning opportunity. As long as we learn from our mistakes and try not to repeat them we will grow into better versions of ourselves. Forgive yourself and then eventually forgive others who may have been involved. Holding grudges gets us no where.
Allow the Process Stay present and remove the mental blockages in front of you that are keeping you stuck. When you trust yourself fully you will be able to take whatever you fear or dislike that is invisibly in front of you and put it behind you. Yes, it is all still there but now you are able to move forward rather than feeling like you are walking into a brick wall. For example if you are in a relationship where trust has been broken, and both people are trying to mend the relationship, the imagined obstacle in front of you is the pattern being repeated. There is always that chance, but if we move that behind us, we are able to move forward with positive momentum. If the pattern repeats itself then you must trust yourself enough to walk away.
Continue Forward Momentum Never give up on your dreams or your passions. Obstacles may set us back or redirect that so that we find our higher purpose. Look for a positive outcome. Staying stuck in a deep pothole will not help. Yes, it is ok to cry or throw a short pity party, but then pick yourself up by your bootstraps and continue forward. Life is a journey with no particular destination except to reach the best possible version of yourself, the Divine within, or ultimate enlightenment. It does not matter how we get there or how many set backs we face as long as we persevere. It takes great courage to forge into the unknown but with that courage comes great results.
Give Back Consider getting involved with something or someone whose purpose is far greater than yours. Being a part of a greater collective raises positive energy. We have all heard of the saying Give and You Shall Receive, well when speaking the language of the universe when we give our time and or efforts to help others karma will return those well wishes to us in the way we desire.
Let Go of External Validation I learned through my Yoga Teacher Training that the answers we seek are already within us. And, through life's experiences I can tell you with great certainty this is the truth. People love to offer you advice, but they rarely follow what it is they advise. Often our self esteem and vibration are lowered by the advice or opinions of people we love and respect because we do not like to disappoint. We are naturally programmed to please others when in reality if we would simply please ourselves others would be drawn to our authenticity. You do not need approval from anyone. Simply say and do things that bring yourself and those around you happiness.
If you are looking for more inspiration watch this!
We Were Each Born with a Unique Purpose
When I taught yoga for Avon they shared their beautiful philosophy with me that everyone has a unique story. We were each born with unique passions, talents, and traits. Life may take us down a winding road and we may hit some bumps along the way, but share your story with the world. Overcoming obstacles allows us to move forward from the victim stage and take back our power that is always within. Stand up for yourself, be your own advocate. Life may be difficult at times and there may be bad days, but there is always something good in each day. Look for the tiny miracles occurring all around you and find comfort knowing you were created not to survive, but to thrive. Live the life you love and love the life you live. Also, get comfortable with your discomforts because again, that is the catalyst for growth. Each day, each choice we make, can put us one step closer to the life we desire. Remember, you are the author of your story. If you do not like how things are going yell, “plot twist,” and write a new chapter. Add or erase characters and write your own happy ending.
With Passion & Perseverance,
Libby
P. S. If you enjoyed this blog please scroll down under the tags and hit the heart to share some love. I believe in you and appreciate you being a part of this positive community. If you have insights for how you have personally overcome obstacles please comment below. Stay tunes for a new blog each Monday. Next week I will be offering stretches to relieve low back pain! Also, please sign up on the website to receive our newsletter~if you cannot find the sign up button write me on the contact form and I will take care of you!
Learn How Expectations Sabotage Our Happiness
Are You Sabotaging Your Happiness?
We often sabotage our happiness, wierd huh? Yes indeed we sabotage happy relationships and even our futures. Why we do this is based on sub concious thoughts that were planted in our minds as young children. Everything that we react and respond to is based on our personal experiences. I have seen it in three of my personal relationships where my guy either cheated or ran out of fear or expectations that I did not and could not meet. It was not until my therapist pointed it out that I finally was freed from sadness, guilt and shame.
Expectations are the root of heartache and yet most if not all of us have expectations. We have self imposed expectations, expectations for others, and others have expectations for us. We tend to have high expectations in relationships; both that they will last long term and for details to which I will return in a bit. We have high expectations for our personal success, parenting, and even reputation. To set ourselves up for success we need to understand the difference between expectations and realistic goals and values. It is a great trait to be self disciplined, but everything is filtered through our personal experiences in life. It is critical to be aware, accept the situation as it is knowing some, in fact most, things are out of our control, and forgive yourself.
I tend to snap yoga photos everywhere I go, not to impress any one, but because it’s a fun way for me to chronicle my trips. Not sure what I was going for with my leg lol. Just remember to have fun and spread good vibes!
Change Your Mindset~ Change Your Outcome
Change is never easy, but it is worth it. Without change we become stagnant and die. Once we learn to respond rather than react we can approach all situations with positivity. The Law of Attraction itself would agree that when we are capable of surrendering our expectations and responding positively great things will come. When you find yourself attached to an outcome, pause, breathe, and observe how you feel. If you feel stress, tension, or resentment adjust your mindset. Chances are if you are angry or disappointed you had the wrong motive in the first place.It is no joke learning to let go. Anyone who says they live completely free from expectation is kidding themselves, but we can all try a bit harder which will lead to increased happiness and decreased stress. Changing our mind set requires us to remain present. You hear many wise people and sages preaching about the power of now and that is because setting expectations is future based and blinds us of possibilities unfolding in the present moment.
Three examples:
If you want your husband to buy you flowers and he doesn’t. This creates dissapointment. The poor guy likely has no clue how badly you wanted the flowers. But your resentment will grow. Learn to use The Five Love Languages to communicate better. There may be things he wants too and he may feel the same dissapointment. Meanwhile, learn to buy yourself flowers. I mentioned earlier that expectations can seem impossible in relationships so try to communicate respectfully and openly with your partner.
If you agree to meet friends at a public event. I definitely struggle with anxiety so showing up alone at crowded venues makes me nervous, but allow yourself options. For example; maybe you have to park far away. You could consider turning around and going home or take an uber. If you cannot find your friends consider just being present and enjoying the event solo.
If you are working hard and expect a raise. Consider the fact that a raise may not be financially possible even though the company appreciates your hard work. Evaluate if you are doing what you love.
The colors on the Blue Ridge Parkway were amazing last weekend. Please remember that sometimes life’s disappointments are actually gifts. I was told this drive would be beautiful, but it surpassed my expectations.
Aparigraha, WHAAAAAT?
Living yoga is not just a physical practice on the mat. It is a disciplined way of living as perscribed by the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali thousands of years ago. It takes daily practice both on and off the mat, but the goal is to reach enlightmenment, or ultimate bliss. Sounds good, right? Of course, but like all things great it does not come easy. Aparigraha is the 5th Yama in the 8 limbs of yoga. It means non possessiveness both physically and mentally. We live in a society plagued with the desire for more. But, it goes back to the principle that our expieriences are each personal. Someone who lives in poverty and has no roof over their head would be ecstatic with running water let alone a hot bath. Someone on the other hand who is affluent may turn their nose us at a Courtyard instead of a Ritz. Everything is relative and yet we all self impose expectations. When we see what and who we need verses what we do not we are then aware and able to move forward free from outcome. When we can observe each situation free from judement it opens to the door to unlimited possibilities.
We can never truly posses anything that is not meant to be ours. Jeleousy is a dangerous game where we never win. Envy is similar. So let go of outcomes and possessions. Live from a heart centered place rather than an ego driven one. Take only what you truly need. Give love when you can and take some when your cup is low. When we have faith that the universe provides what we need when we need it the stress dissipates and life becomes abundant. As you enjoy the autumn leaves and all their glorious color remind yourself that just as their leaves fall we too need to let go.
Peace and Joy,
Libby
Taking time out for yourself, especially in nature, is a great way to nourish your body, mind, and soul!
A Dog Gone Good Life
Do you ever come home at the end of the day and your house just feels lonely? Do you miss having a special someone around? A dog makes the perfect best friend. They are always excited to see you, they never talk back, and they are as loyal as it gets. Some dogs are easier to house train and train in general, depending on the breed and how old the dog is when you adopt it, but the process itself can be a fun bonding time as well!
Do your research when considering a dog. Choose the one that fits your lifestyle and activity level. Some dogs shed more than others, some require less maintenance and some are even hypoallergenic. Each dog, much like humans, has a unique personality. Visit the dog before deciding and be sure it is a good fit. Please commit to trying to keep this beautiful new companion and give it its FUR-ever home. Do not choose a dog based on the cuteness in a movie, for example there was a demand for Dalmatians after 101 Dalmatians, but that is not the dog for everyone. Do your research and avoid the hassle and sadness of returning a newly adopted dog when you suddenly realize that it does not have the right temperament for you. Also be sure that the dog is suitable for your kids and the other animals in your household if that is in your plan…
This is Luna, another one of my wonderful rescues. She is always happy to be with me on a hike, a drive, boating, or just laying around. Luna is an absolute great companion!
In addition, make sure that you stop at the pet store and get a few chew toys to avoid the loss of your favorite shoes and treasured belongings. Dogs love to chew on things and they are very content when they know what is theirs. Also try to give them a special space, perhaps a dog bed or a crate, in the room you most often hang out in where they feel a part of your family's life, but can comfortably retreat to while you are eating, watching tv and when the doorbell rings. In our house we named the dog bed “spot” and at first tethered our new dog to a leash in his “spot" with lots of treats and toys so he associated it as being a good place for him. Now he willingly goes there… at least sometimes, but he is still a puppy and training takes time. Just remember that YOU are the alpha.
This is Tucker's "SPOT" as the trainer recommended and it has worked very well for us. He is happy there and we now have peace while we eat and when we answer the door.
Your dog will provide you with great companionship. He or she will even hold you accountable for going on regular walks or runs, give you lots of snuggle time and will always be willing to protect you, yes even the little guys will do their best.
Consider adopting a dog from the shelter. Mixed breed dogs need homes and are some of the very most grateful dogs that you can imagine. I have rescued many dogs and I can tell you they have all been very well trained, easy going, loyal and loving.
This is Bubba, the best Pitt we have ever owned. Morgan rescued Bubba a year ago and they bonded immediately. Bubba was incredibly gentle and responsive. He was smart and craved love. Unfortunately, he did bite a neighbor and we HAD to do the responsible thing and put Bubba down. It was one of the hardest things we have gone through as a family and Bubba will forever be missed and fondly remembered. WE had him cremated, just as you would a family member, so that we could keep him with us forever. We will never understand what happened that day, but we forgive him and love him anyway.
I now own my first full bred Bernese Mountain Dog and he is truly special in his own right. But, all dogs earn a special place in our hearts. They try so hard to earn our love when really maybe it should be the other way around? Maybe if humans were more like dogs the world would be a more loving, accepting and better place!
Playfully Your Pet Lover,
Libby
Thank you Bubba for a year of joy that will last a lifetime....
P.S. - Dogs are usually discounted for adoption for the holidays, so now is a great time to adopt a pet. It will be the gift that will continue to give love for many years to come! If you have any questions about adopting a dog, please feel free to reach out and message me! I would be happy to help!
Are you Stuffed? No worries, No guilt, No Shame!
My family enjoying leftovers the day after Thanksgiving.
Are you amongst the majority of us who ate far to much and indulged in rich foods, desserts and probably a beverage too many over the last couple days? And to think… the holiday parties are only getting started! Do not worry. Seriously, it is ok to indulge and feast every now and then. There is no shame in enjoying a delicious meal. No need to starve yourself for the next week. In fact, that will never work. Balance and moderation are key. Forgive yourself and move on just like anything else in life. Practice awareness of how you are feeling. Then, as you eat leftovers and attend parties moving into the season, practice awareness with portion control and choices of what you are eating.
For now, the damage is done, so to speak. Accept it and enjoy it. Get outside this weekend and get moving. Once you take control of your body you will feel better. Maybe you put up holiday lights, go for a hike, rake leaves and if you are lucky enough to be somewhere with snow maybe you go skiing… the possibilities are endless. As long as you are having fun, then exercise becomes easy and the guilt melts away.
Hold yourself accountable. Start a journal this holiday season. Write down what you eat at each event. Record how you feel that night. Then, write how you feel the next day. Be sure to include any movement you are getting and how you feel with that. This will help track your progress both positive and negative. Know that it is OK to sometimes admit that we are not perfect. We strive for progress NOT perfection. Perfection is no fun anyway, lol.
Enjoy yourself! Life is too short not to. But, set yourself up for success. The holidays do not need to weigh you down, quite literally, but instead should inspire you to become the very best version of yourself. With each sparkling light you see this season, let that be a reminder of the light within you. Put religion aside and see the beauty of your spiritual commonality. We are really all the same. We strive to be accepted, to be loved, to be needed and appreciated, to be happy, to be free, to be joyful and abundant. So, all differences aside, be you, eat what you want, exercise, and shine bright for all to see.
Peace, Love and Light to you all,
Libby
What the World Needs Now is Love Sweet Love; 3 Ways to Combat Violence using Yogic Philosophy
There is so much tragedy in this world. The sad truth is we are not guaranteed tomorrow. However, it is important to step out of fear and darkness and live the life we love each and every day. Go after your dreams, tell the people you love that you appreciate them, and say the things that matter. Horrific incidents, such as the massacre in Las Vegas are reminders to Live the Life we Love EVERYDAY. We have to try to find something positive in everything bad or we run the risk of feeling helpless and depressed. As we send healing prayers and hold the families who are grieving today and in the coming days, weeks and months in our hearts, it is important to use this time to rise up and come together as a community.
Terrible events like this mass shooting, as well as any obstacle I come across in my personal life, remind me to return back to my personal Yoga Philosophy. There are three main principles that I live and breathe by that have helped me get through countless difficult times including; my physical and verbal abuse, recovering from PTSD, counseling and supporting others, helping my parents go through physical set backs, nurturing my own children and the ups and downs of my daily life. The following three principles when followed will truly lead you to a better place; one of growth, lightness, clarity, strength, compassion, and most importantly a place of universal oneness.
- Awareness - It begins with the physical practice on the mat and carries into daily life. Be aware of your words, actions and feelings. Then be aware of those around you.
- Acceptance - Accept yourself exactly where you are in each moment. You do not have to be perfect, you just have to show up and try your best. Strive for progress. And then accept those around you where they are, as well. Let go of expectations.
- Forgivenesses - Forgive yourself for any mistakes you make along the way. Consider those mistakes a way to learn and grow. Forgive those around you. Holding grudges and shaming people causes resentment and negativity.
Above all practice self love. First Love Yourself (F.L.Y.) then love all others. Once we realize we are all in this together, the feelings of separation, anxiety, hatred and violence vanish and unity takes their place. Once we get to this place of ONENESS, life is beautiful.
Of course, in times of mass shootings the subject of mental illness arises as we search for a reason for how and why a human being could take so many innocent lives. And then, of course, there are issues of gun control that feed our fears and cause more division among us. The truth is we will never have all the answers, but let's avoid circular arguments that make us feel self righteous and realize that such acts of hate most often, at their roots, result from an absence of love and other stigmas that make a person feel an overwhelming sense of darkness.
When someone in our family suffers from cancer or another disease, we wrap our arms around them, bring them meals and nurture them with tender loving care. But when someone we know is diagnosed with a serious Mental Illness, our discomfort and shame often hold us back from helping and comforting them because of the negative stigma associated with a serious mental health issue. That person then isolates and disconnects from society. When they withdraw, their perception of reality becomes even more distorted. These stigmas around mental health issues create even more damage in the long run and contribute to the downward spiral of the person who needs love, support and treatment from mental health providers. Mental health is not a topic that we can afford to sweep under the rug and out of sight. It should be talked about and treated like any disease.
In my research I discovered some startling statistics that I would like to share with you about mental health. 1 in 5 American adults have a mental health condition - thats over 40 MILLION Americans. Mental Health problems among our youth are also on the rise. In 2011 8.5% were depressed and in 2014 that number rose to 11.1%. What is even more startling is that 80% of those youth were either insufficiently treated or not treated at all. Compound this with the media’s negative attention on horrific situations such as these mass killings, and the people who need help tend to shy away and hide rather than coming into the light to seek help.
It is not wrong to view mental illness as a disease, but to assume it is hopeless and to associate it with shame only worsens the situation. The last thing we want to do is make the person feel so desperate and void of love, connection, emotion and empathy that they become compelled to murder. Also, people who play video games while isolated, often disassociate the feelings of human connection with real life people. This process of desensitization can carry over to real life violence when one’s sense of reality becomes completely blurred.
Ultimately we need to turn these tragic events into a time to reflect on love. It is a reminder that what the world needs now more than ever is Love Sweet Love. What we ALL need is love sweet love. Don’t allow yourself to get caught in the negative energy of this sad occasion. Instead hold the lives of the people lost up with the honor that they deserve. They were special people. They each had a story. They each had a dream. Unfortunately, for reasons that we will never understand, their lives ended too soon and abruptly. May peace be with their families and friends.
There are many things in life we cannot understand. It is important, however, that we simply keep going. Pray and believe that better days are coming. Continue to give love. Understand that it is ok to feel every emotion and it is also ok to not know and not to understand why this happened.
Fall reminds us that life is ever changing. Take a moment this season to reflect on what really matters to you. Use this time to set your intention for how you can become the best version of yourself. Live the life you love TODAY, tell the people you love that you love them! Just as the trees shed their leaves, think about a few things you might need to let go of in order to make room for improvements in your life. You were created to be a joyful and successful being. Connect with friends and family. Avoid isolation and reach for the stars! If you feel that you might suffer from a mental illness, do not feel alone for there is hope and help for you.
Remember that light always overcomes darkness, just as love overcomes evil. When we love ourselves we are able to love others. So I ask you especially in these times of darkness to dig deep, plant your roots of compassion and shine your love light. Show the world that peace and love will conquer evil and that love is really all that we need.
Love and Light,
Libby
P.S. ~ If you are experiencing symptoms of depression, suicidal thoughts or PTSD, there are people who can help you. Witnessing a horrible event like the concert shooting in Las Vegas can trigger symptoms for months to come. If you were at this concert or have friends and family who were there, please practice awareness, acceptance and forgiveness. Be gentle and loving with yourselves. I am sending you healing vibes and much love.
All Of The Answers You Seek Are Within YOU....
Have you spent your life wishing you could ask someone a question, needing closure, feeling abandonment, fearing something...... or just wondering what your true purpose in life might be? We face many different questions every single day! Our minds are very complex tools. But truth be told, all the answers you seek actually lie within yourself. Yes, YOU and you alone have the power to unlock all of the answers you could ever need to know.
It all begins with awareness. For me it began with a growing awareness on my yoga mat that then carried off the mat and into my daily life. That awareness evolved into a deeper consciousness. After you develop awareness, the next step is acceptance. Accepting yourself as you are and practicing full self love. Until you fully love and forgive yourself of any flaws you cannot truly accept love from others nor are you available to fully receive love.
Developing the following practices leads one to higher levels of consciousness and clarity:
• Self awareness
• Acceptance of yourself
• Self love
• Acceptance of others
• Letting go of judgement
• Releasing ego
• Daily gratitude
These can be a difficult steps because the ego jumps in and gets in the way. The ego has a place and is there to protect us, but we need to be aware of how it tries to influence us to keep it in check. Finally, there is the step of practicing being grateful for all that we have in daily life and living a life of grace. When we reach this spot suddenly all of the drama fades away and clarity arises.
Listening to your voice within, your intuition, is your best guide. Your intuitive voice is there to protect you, to lead you in the right direction, to keep you on the upward spiral. When something feels wrong, most likely IT IS. Listen to your gut. Know your worth. You were born with a purpose. You may not know the purpose yet, but if you listen to your intuition it will lead you in the right direction and the answers you seek will come. The universe will show you your path. Trust the journey. Have faith and patience. Keep your heart open and live with love, passion and a firm belief that all of your dreams will come true. YOU ARE WORTHY, YOU ARE SPECIAL, YOU ARE LOVED, YOU ARE JOY, YOU ARE LIGHT! Say positive affirmations to yourself if you feel a little low or lost. And write down your goals each day. Never give up. All is coming!
Namaste,
Libby
P.S. - If you want to learn more about awareness, acceptance, gratitude and empowerment, join me on my yoga retreat in beautiful Costa Rica this coming October. Click here to learn more.