Too many relationships are failing and as a result too many people are heartbroken and jaded. It is time to choose love over fear. Good old fashioned love stories do still exist and you are worthy of experiencing it.
Should I Stay or Should I Go Now?
How Healthy is Your Relationship?
Struggling relationships have become a very common thing in todays modern world. Cheating, lies, deceit, betrayal, manipulation, verbal, physical and emotional abuse, co-dependency, people looking for the other person to complete them which is simply not possible, and many other problems contribute to the turmoil in relationships. I am certain none of us want to fail our significant other so why are so many relationships struggling and falling apart?
Sexual Freedom
The revolution of the 60’s brought sexual freedom that forever changed the dating scene. Sex before marriage was no longer taboo and there were no longer rules for dating. Then in the 90’s dating websites entered the picture. Now, between social media, Tinder, Bumble, Plenty of Fish, and all the other sites we are engulfed in a culture of hook ups, temptations, one night stands and people who are jaded by past break ups, parents who suffered bad marriages and insecurities. You might have a great relationship and still have some mild paranoia and trust issues.
Are you Being Emotionally Abused?
We should always treat our significant other with honesty, loyalty, and respect. If your loved one starts talking down to you or disrespecting you in anyway that is unacceptable. Our partner should never parent us, shame us, put us down, belittle us, or make us feel as if we cannot do anything right. The purpose of a relationship is to elevate each other so that we can reach our highest potential. Hurt people hurt people. In some cases there is an underlying psychological problem such as narcissism. In the case where the abuser was abused as a child that deep wound often surfaces as them being abusive. They can seek help through therapy and anger management, but it takes very deep inner work and few are committed to doing it because it reopens painful wounds. Sometimes, as hard as it is, you have to walk away, have zero contact and never look back because that is the only way to take your power back and stop the person from crushing your soul.
Emotional abuse is equally as damaging as physical abuse even though the wounds are not visible on the outside. It damages the soul, breaks down our confidence and self esteem, and makes us feel shamed. Sometimes the verbal and emotional abuse are obvious, but other times they are more subtle and manipulative and it may take you time to realize what is happening. If they gaslight you you may even feel crazy. If you recognize any of these traits in your relationship it would benefit you to seek therapy or counseling to rebuild your confidence. Then, spend time alone relearning who you are and doing things you enjoy. Finally, find a group of positive supportive people to surround yourself with who can inspire you and support you.
How to Find the Right Person
With so much skepticism it is difficult to date. I talk to so many people who feel like marriage is horrible and love is hopeless. I will tell you from the bottom of my heart, I believe marriage can be the most wonderful union of two people. Maybe it takes two or even three tries to get it right, but I know I am not going to give up. I just know a lot more about what I am doing at 45 than I did at 21 that is for sure and I know far more about who I am as an individual. There are plenty of great men and women out there who still desire a respectful committed relationship. After spending some time alone take it slow. Be friends with someone first. Look for any red flags before taking it to a physical level. Set boundaries and communicate those and then be ready to walk away if they are violated. Be sure you can laugh and have fun with this person and they can regulate their emotions. Be sure you share the same values and visions in life. Look for someone who will have compassion for you and a willingness to work through problems and admit to mistakes. Remember, the purpose of a relationship is to help you reach your full potential in life.
There is no reason to get ugly and burn bridges.
When the Relationship has Fizzled; letting go with grace
When you feel like the relationship has fizzled out have the decency and respect to communicate with your significant other. Do not stay and build resentment in a relationship where you no longer desire to be. The worst is finding out through someone else that your significant other is with someone else. Yes, it happens all the time. Do not complicate things more by cheating. Honesty is the best policy. It may hurt up front, but it will make healing easier than betrayal. Both people ultimately deserve to be happy. Likewise, if and when it ends do not hold grudges and smear your ex’s name around and tell all the dirty secrets of your relationship. Let go with dignity and remember the admiration you had in the beginning. When you hold a grudge it only hurts yourself. Give yourself permission to forgive yourself and your ex when you are ready so that you can move forward and create space in your heart for whatever is coming your way.
Love & Light,
Libby
P.S. I have started writing on Quora and would love for you to follow Level up in Life there. There are many other inspiring writers that share their stories on relationships as well as how to reduce stress on my page.
Reclaiming Self Love After a Breakup
Reclaiming Self Love and Independence After a Breakup
When a relationship ends you feel shattered and broken, but it is very important to acknowledge the fact that it is the relationship that is broken and you are still fundamentally whole. It is time to reclaim self love, rebuild your resilience, and re-establish your authentic voice. If you were in a toxic relationship you have probably given your power away for a very long time. One of the biggest things we initially miss is the physical touch, the hug, that person who was always by our side. You might have the temptation to return to your ex or to have a fling, but those are destructive behaviors that will cause even more pain and heartache. I would strongly encourage you to spend this time alone and rebuilding yourself rather than compromise your own healing process.
It is very normal to dread doing things alone after a break up, but try to embrace it. You might feel like the “third wheel” joining friends, but go anyway and be ok doing things alone as well. Remove all the masks you have been wearing from previous programming and get to know yourself. Try new activities or revisit ones you have not experienced in awhile. It often takes hardships to discover the very best part of ourselves. We go through dark trying times and then come out better than ever.
I did not show up in my own life until after I had had my own kids. I was 30 years old and ran my first full marathon. It was that experience that allowed me to grow and realize that I could be myself and not just who my parents wanted me to be. After that I began my yoga journey and evolved even further. Eventually, I outgrew my marriage and found my authentic voice. After my divorce I went through a really dark time, I made all the mistakes, and then picked myself up, found an even deeper strength and chose to reinvent myself. I now know that I had to experience all of that to truly be able to put all the pieces together in my life, find deep understanding, and I now can help others. Without that dark night of the soul moment I would not be where I am. So I have complete gratitude for all of the breakups and heartache.
Healing takes time and patience. When you experience the dark night of the soul you feel lonely and sad and thats ok. But, I am here to tell you that it is temporary and it gets so much better. So please my friends, use the time to get to know, honor, and love yourself . Determine what it is you really enjoy doing and then do more of that. Explore what your best traits are. Determine what values are important to you. And then practice self compassion. Go easy on yourself as you are healing from the heartache of this break up. It may feel like you are even mourning the death of a loved one, it hurts so badly, and that is ok. Allow yourself to feel all those emotions as long as you do not remain stuck there.
Love and accept yourself before you can love and be loved.
For you men out there, sometimes expressing your feelings is harder than it is for women or at least openly talking about it. Having a social group, or even a therapist, to be able to open up to often helps get our feelings off of our chest. For all of us though, it is important to feel our feelings and to express those in constructive ways because when we shove them down inside that’s when they build and then we end up with resentment and negative energy. Please seek counseling if you feel you are depressed or struggling to function. Only when you show up and know who you really are and what you value can you eventually show up for a future partner.
Be aware of the inner dialogue occurring in your mind. Question your inner critic. Sometimes our fight or flight response causes our thoughts to become distorted. Finally, set boundaries. Go back to that list you created of values and things that are important to you. Also look at areas that were problematic in your previous relationship. Set boundaries that will help prevent you from being hurt again. Anyone who respects you will respect your boundaries as well.
10 Ways to Cultivate Confidence
List your strengths
Try new hobbies
Explore your interests
Practice positive self talk
Question the inner critic
Accept compliments
Set boundaries
Practice self love and care
Recognize triggers and learn coping mechanisms
Ditch the drama and chaos
PC:Paul Garrett, Total Soulful Journey
Give yourself the love you need. No one can ever take that away from you. You will no longer need outside validation and you will feel a stronger sense of confidence. People will be more attracted to you because they will feel your positive energy. From this place of self love and centeredness you will then be ready to move forward and date again. When that time comes take it slowly. Learn to trust yourself. Do not go diving straight into taking someone home to meet your family or going on vacation together. Consider short dates where you can talk and get to know each other. Build a friendship and make sure you enjoy activities together and share the same values. Discuss your boundaries and be very clear about what those look like. You deserve to be loved and to be treated with respect, loyalty, and honesty. If you remain single that is ok too, after all, you do not have to share your last bite of cake with anyone that way!
Light & Love,
Libby
P.S. I welcome you to comment below on how you feel about this post or about topics you would like to know more about! I appreciate you taking the time to read this and I welcome you to follow my instagram page @levelupwithlibby and join along in our community! Reach out if you would like a coaching consultation and stay tuned for my upcoming class on Breaking Free from Toxic Relationships to Live the Live you Love
How to Resolve Conflict
In Conflict Remember Each Person is Human
When we experience conflict our ego inflates as a protection mechanism. The ego wants us to be “right” or win the argument. However how can both people ultimately win? It is important to practice the pause when conflict arises. When we are faced with conflict our fight or flight response is triggered and we often say and do things we do not mean because the brain is not functioning logically. After much conflict in my own life and personally shifting to a better place I would like to share my conflict resolution plan with you.
Conflict causes stress and anxiety which lead to illness and days off work. Conflicts are inevitable in life, but use these tools to help deflate each conflict you come across. Life is about giving and taking and finding balance. Stand up for yourself and set boundaries, but also consider the other persons concerns. Be sure you listen and know that you do not have to solve every problem. Sometimes people just need to be heard.
Realize that both people have fears and vulnerabilities
Ask yourself if what you are arguing about will matter five years from now
Consider taking a time out that is positively expressed so that you can both gather your thoughts
Be aware of your tone and body language
Choose your battles wisely
Eliminate the words ALWAYS and NEVER from your vocabulary
Realize You Both Have Fears and Vulnerabilities
When you are in a conflict but can see yourself in the other person it makes it difficult to be harsh or mean. Determine if your relationship is worth upsetting that person for. Remember, when you argue, the goal you wish to achieve. I know when my boyfriend and I argue it often is not a productive conversation but rather a lot of blaming and projecting. Once we gained awareness of this, we often pause now and reflect about what it is we actually want to achieve. Then it is easier to speak more gently and resolve the conflict.
Ask Yourself if What You are Arguing About Will Matter in Five Years
If it won’t matter in five years do not spend even five minutes arguing about it. Learning to let go and move forward is a blessing. If it is something important that will matter in five years then take the time to compose your thoughts and be sure to separate emotion from thought.
Consider Taking A Time Out
Telling the person you are in conflict with that you need a time out allows both people to calm down. Walking away and giving the silent treatment with out expressing the need for a time out leaves the other person feeling stonewalled or abandoned which leads to increased anxiety. Consider composing your thoughts in letter format and reading it several times before exchanging the letter. Often when we write our thoughts down they become more clear. And remember, say what you mean and mean what you say. Words can be forgiven but rarely are they forgotten.
Be Aware of Your Tone and Body Language
When we speak softly and avoid yelling we can ease anxiety for both people. We are naturally more capable of listening when we are not being yelled at. You do not need to raise your voice to convey your concerns in fact it is always better not to. When we do not feel heard it is natural for the voice to elevate. Let the person know that you hear them even if you do not agree or understand. Closed fists and crossed arms tend to signal being closed minded. Put the person at ease by relaxing your arms, shoulders and hands.
Choose Your Battles Wisely
This was sage advice my mom often said when I was growing up. I use it a-lot as a parent now as well. When something is very important that may be something worth fighting for set and keep your boundaries. For example; when raising my children I would put them in time out when they were disrespectful. Teaching them respect was very important to me. If my children broke something we would talk about being more careful but I did not put them in time out because that was a mistake and mistakes are how we learn.
Eliminate the Words ALWAYS and NEVER
Those of you who know me know that I am a firm believer in moderation. The words always and never are not only extreme, but they are downright impossible. In conflict these two words are used far too often. Eliminate them from your vocabulary and watch the tension decrease in conflict. Also, try to use “I statements” and this will reduce the feelings of blame and shame.
Peace, Light, & Love,
Libby
P.S. Please email me at Libby@journeytothelifeyoulove.com for Life & Wellness Coaching. Sessions can be done by video conference, in person or via telephone. For more information on why a coach will help you please click this link http://www.journeytothelifeyoulove.com
How to Overcome Your Greatest Fear
What do you fear? Do you fear dying? Many people do. Fear is not real. It is dreamed up by the ego and our overly active minds. Some people even say that FEAR stands for False Evidence Appearing Real. When you look at it this way, you may realize that the only thing that we have to fear is fear itself. When you have the courage to push past your fears, to face them head on and live with a heart of love and good intentions you will feel wonderful and find the abundance that you deserve.
I know because I lived most of my life trapped by fear. There is nothing worse than feeling trapped. I was SUCH a fraidy cat starting at a young age even though nothing truly bad ever even happened to me with the exception the one time that my sister played a trick on me. She once hid under my bed when I was roughly seven making scratching sounds as she talked in a scary voice. My doberman growled and I remember being so frozen in fear that I could not even yell for my parents. When I finally gather the courage to run to my parents for help, "sweet little" Mandy (my big sister) quickly snuck back to her bed where she pretended to be sleeping. That is my earliest memory of fear. All a hoax, you see. There was nothing to fear at all. Our minds will play terrible tricks on us if we allow them to do so.
The mind is powerful. It must be trained just like any muscle in the body. We must think positively and tell ourselves what we are truly capable of overcoming. We must also practice awareness to determine what is real and what is and an illusion.
When your are quaking in your boots, be aware of what is really behind your fear. Awareness helps us to stand strong.
Later in life I wanted to attend yoga classes. I had done yoga before and knew how much I enjoyed it, however, having the courage to start taking yoga classes again was not as easy as I thought it would be. I would drive into the parking lot and if it appeared to be full I would literally drive away paralyzed in fear that the class was indeed full. I somehow felt that I did not belong and that I did not know what I was doing. My self esteem was so low and I was not even aware that this was the reason for the fear that was holding me back.
You see, that is where it all begins. Improvement begins with awareness. Once I was aware of what was holding me back I grabbed a friend and eventually pushed through my fear. I not only went to classes on my own, but I also completed yoga teacher training and opened my own studio. I have since led over 3000 classes and two teacher training sessions to train other instructors. I travel and lead corporate yoga, workshops and retreats, as well. Recently while working with the Avon Corporation, I had to push through yet another set of fears; the fear of being hooked up to a wireless microphone and telling my story in front of hundreds of people and then teaching to a diverse group people (some in chairs and some on mats). After the first few seconds on stage and seeing all of the smiling faces looking back at me, I knew that I was not only Ok, I was actually living my dream.
Endurance events teach us how to push on and gain mental strength. I learned this running the Honolulu Marathon.
Life is a journey not a marathon. It is about taking baby steps to know and love ourselves, and to grow into the best versions of ourselves. We may hit many bumps in the road, but those obstacles are there to teach us and to help us grow. We learn through our mistakes and challenges. What is important is to first be aware so that we can change what we do not like. Change, after all, is what helps us to grow. Next, we have to practice acceptance free from judgement. Finally we have to forgive, first ourselves and then all of those who have wronged us in life so that we can move forward toward our greatest destiny.
Sometimes it is the biggest obstacles that propel us forward and unlock us from the fear that holds us back. Last week I was given the opportunity to audition for TEDx Cincinnati. Giving a TED talk is a life dream of mine. I applied last year and did not get in. This year I was ready. I was still shaking in my boots with fear, but I knew I had to stand up and use my voice to awaken, inspire and empower others who have not found their voices yet. When you believe so deeply in your mission, nothing can hold you back. So I am super proud of myself for pushing through my fear.
Auditioning to speak at TEDx Cincinnati.
One hundred and fifty people auditioned and only twenty of us were given the chance to give a 2.5 minute audition. I prayed that I would go first so that I could listen to other presenters and enjoy what they were offering, but of course I was number 16. I tried so hard to listen to the other presenters as their speeches were gripping and inspiring, but I my mind was focused on trying to remember my own speech and I was so incredibly nervous. I was simply trying not to cry. We lined up in front of the stage after the intermission. I listened intently to a speech or two and then everything was blurry as I reread my written speech to myself. I carried my papers nervously to the stage. As soon as I stood under the lights and said my first sentence I felt an odd calm. A divine presence came over me and it was as if the universe was naturally speaking through me. What I had originally dreaded I was truly enjoying. I was offering my heart and my soul to the world. In telling my story I was freeing myself from fear. More importantly I felt that if my words touched and inspired just one other person in the audience, the whole process that brought me to that stage and all of the terrible anxiety that I faced that evening would all be worthwhile.
Soaring over the Colorado Rocky Mountains
Each time that we climb to the peak of a mountain it feels exhilarating. The balance, however, is that every high is followed by a low. The valleys in life are there to help us to appreciate the highs. This appreciation gives us more momentum and courage to move forward toward the higher mountains that we may face in the future. I now know, that the TEDx audition was just a start for me. I know that my purpose is to help spread conscious awareness through my yoga philosophy of awareness, acceptance, and forgiveness so that others can overcome the intimidating obstacles in their lives. All things are possible when we believe and let go of the fears that hold us back from achieving our true greatness.
Gratefully & Courageously Yours,
Libby Shively McAvoy
P.S. - If you enjoyed this article, then please check out my latest post on my other blog about the importance of "acceptance" at TotalSoulfulJourney.com
Love takes Courage and a Box of Kleenex
Have you ever been addicted to something? Have you ever suffered extreme loss? What about fears? Do you fear anything so much that it haunts you or shuts you down? There is a song on the radio that made me realize that love is just as powerful as any drug out there (watch the video below). Music is powerful. It can trigger memories, feelings and instincts. Love, however, takes you to your highest high and also your lowest low. You put your faith and trust in your significant other and sometimes with no warning you are left alone. This causes feelings of abandonment and insecurity. It causes us to close down and a little piece of us dies. Losing a loved one in a relationship is a huge cause of stress, whether it is a long term relationship or a marriage. You share memories, laughter, and intimacy with that person. Those memories are triggered for a long time to come and unfortunately cannot be turned off easily, which makes it difficult to move forward and to love again. But surrenduring to what is and knowing when to walk away is key! It allows you to open the door for what may be.
Now, lets talk about the ego. It is extremely important to keep the ego in check when going through difficult times during a breakup. We go through every range of emotions from sadness to anger and everything in between. But, compassion is critical. Compassion is your desire to alleviate the suffering of others, or your feeling of sympathy toward others. In the case of a breakup, compassion toward your Ex can be difficult, but when we set the ego aside and realize why we loved that person to begin with it is a little easier. Try to maintain compassion. In the end you will feel better for it. Positivity attracts positivity. Your heart will heal faster as a result. Remember, always forgive and rise above. Holding grudges only hurts you more in the end.
So, grab a spoon and a pint of ice cream. Binge watch your favorite Netflix shows for a day and then get outside and go for a hike. Reconnect with the things you love to do. Stay plugged into your friends and family. This might be hard if you shared mutual friends, but make the effort. If need be have open communication with your Ex about how and when you will see friends so that you do not awkwardly show up at the same place at the same time. Respect each other as you move on. Sometimes zero communication, at least for a brief period, is easier. Other times treating each other as business partners helps the transition. You will find what works best. Please just watch what you say because although words can be forgiven, they cannot be forgotten and it is easy to say things we do not mean when our emotions are elevated.
You WILL be ok despite the fact that you don’t feel like it at the moment. Everything feels better when you are in love. Do not close down to the possibility of loving again. When we hit rock bottom, we bounce back up and sometimes twice as high, meaning we end up with a better ending. You are the author and the architect of your life. So, write a new chapter. Add new characters. Try new things. Remember, you have a purpose and you are worth it. Keep moving forward and don’t lose your way. All of our roadblocks, bumps and bruises make us stronger, build our character, and give depth to our soul. They help give meaning to our lives and help us to better understand others, which help us to connect.
F.L.Y. First love yourself. Spend some time alone. Prepare yourself for your next true love by fully loving yourself. Make as many self improvements as you can. Be very honest about what went wrong in your previous relationship ~ sometimes we can improve and sometimes we cannot, but it is always good to be aware. Accept the situation, forgive yourself and your EX, and when you are ready move forward with excitement and full compassion. The heart is resilient and will love again. It is the ego that will hold you back.
With love and acceptance,
Libby
A Single's Guide to Holiday Survival
Whether you have been single a long time or recently suffered a break up the holidays can be a very difficult and even traumatic time. All the cheery music may make you turn your radio off for a bit even. I get it. But, I have a few tips that will help you make this holiday season better!
1. Pick and choose which events you go to. In other words it is ok to decline invitations if you are not feeling up to being “on” or if you know it’s an event your ex is likely to attend. However, try not to isolate and go completely into a turtle shell.
2. Choose a few new traditions this year. Allow yourself to do something for yourself that will give your holidays new meaning and give you a sense of purpose like volunteering at a soup kitchen or a toy drive! This will allow you to step away from your own grief and feel grateful for what you do have.
3. Connect with nature. Even if you live somewhere cold please bundle up and get outside. Trust me on this- I don’t like cold weather, but the lesson nature teaches us is that everything is temporary. Appreciate the seasons, appreciate the holidays, find the spirit within you that is very much alive. Soon enough the next season will come.
4. Practice my yoga philosophy of awareness, acceptance and forgiveness. Be aware of how you are feeling, what you are eating and drinking, how you are sleeping, how you are speaking, and then accept how you are feeling. Find a song that makes you feel good. Turn it up loud and dance. Laugh, cry, whatever you need to do to set your spirit free! Then forgive your past and forgive yourself. Everything will be ok. Your future is bright.
The holidays are a time time of celebration. That is hard to accept when you are going through a hard time. If this is your first year alone it may seem unbearable. Please, breathe. Try to find a friend or family member to spend the holiday with. Maybe go to a movie or watch a movie that can serve as a distraction. The first year is always the hardest.
The key when going through changes in relationships is to also accept changes in celebrations of holidays. Be respectful of one another in attendance of parties ( possibly coordinate who will attend what). If you are close with your ex’s family give space during the break up and let them know you would like to maintain a relationship if possible after things settle down. If the breakup is new around the holidays it is fine to send an email explaining to friends and family that you are no longer together but you are not ready to talk about it yet. This way you can comfortably attend the parties without awkward conversations that may end in tears.
I hope your holidays get back in back in full swing soon. May you be blessed with love, hope, peace, and cheer.
Believe,
Libby
Ps... consider getting a pet for yourself. They will hold you accountable and provide unconditional love 😉
F.L.Y. - Put your Oxygen Mask On First
You were born with a distinct and unique purpose. You have a gift and a story to share with the world. For some of us that purpose seems more obvious while others may search a long time wondering what their purpose is. Many of us are given labels and titles, put into boxes, and programmed to think small from a young age, which makes it very difficult to find our authentic voices. We put on "masks" to escape the shame and the fear that has been cast upon us. To find our true selves we must follow our passion and do the things we love, come into the light and remove "the masks." Replace fears and insecurities with courage and self-love to propel us toward our greatest dreams. This is the journey of the self, to the best version of yourself. It starts with awareness, acceptance, self-love and forgiveness. Be authentically YOU. Appreciate YOU. Accept YOU. LOVE YOU! Until you do you cannot fully love or be loved, and you cannot accomplish your full potential.
You were born to live a joyful life. Again, you have a purpose! You are capable of achieving all of your dreams. Commit to taking baby steps toward those dreams each day. Trust the journey. Stay in the moment and always believe. Just show up for yourself each day and do your personal best.
I am humbled and honored to have been recently sponsored by Avon. They have asked me to facilitate a series of yoga events for up to 200 people in each session. I was ecstatic as these would be my largest events to date. This is one of my dreams coming to fruition, traveling and leading yoga events. However, this also scared me to death. I have what it takes to deliver, but I knew that I would have to push past my comfort zone and face my anxiety head on or I could never reach my full potential. I had to push forward to grow so that I can eventually manifest my ultimate dreams.
Last Saturday I taught a class for a large group of beautiful ladies and gentlemen at an Avon conference in Columbus, Ohio. As I walked into the room literally trembling, I flashed back to my first yoga class and how scared I was THAT day as a student and remembered that each person in the room might have the very same insecurities, which put my fear back into perspective. As I was introduced I looked out and connected immediately with the smiles. That was all I needed. I knew it was all ok and I knew in that moment that my job was to put them at ease and suddenly everything was calm and clear. My purpose was clear. My intentions were clear. My heart was clear and full of love to give. I want to ultimately lead events with upwards of 2000 people so I might as well start with 200, right? Heck YES!
I called them up to the stage for a team building exercise. Many, not all, bravely participated. I saw a little girl still seated shyly at her table. I quietly encouraged her to join the group and I was thrilled when she courageously did (imagine what that decision to step out of her comfort zone might do for her future confidence?)! The smiles on their faces as they opened their hearts and leaned back while closing their eyes and trusting one another, balancing in tree pose, was absolutely heart warming. I will never forget that day. Each of those people on stage have a unique story. Each have a dream. I now have the privilege of knowing them and I am so thrilled to have been in their lives even if only for a day. I love it when I see people step out of their comfort zones and try something new. I love when I step out of my OWN comfort zone. It is flat out exhilarating! When was the last time you tried something new? Do you remember that feeling of accomplishment? It feels AMAZING! By stepping out we connected, which also gives us greater strength. I have found my purpose, and I am still growing. I am incredibly grateful for every challenge in my life, as well as every reward.
Avon is just such a wonderful company. Let me just tell you for those who are unaware, they are the at the forefront in the fight against Breast Cancer and Domestic Violence (click on the green linked words to learn more). They do a ton of work for Women Empowerment and are constantly giving back to the community. It is truly an honor to work with them. I just want to say, "thank you" to Avon personally for helping me to reach my goals and get closer to my big big dreams. It feels so amazing to partner with a company in alignment with my personal mission and intentions in life.
When Karin Laseke, who is the District Sales Manager for Avon in Cincinnati, interviewed me to work with the company, she asked me about my personal story and what my BIG DREAM is. This really meant a lot to me and she said they believe EVERYONE has a story to tell. My yoga guru, Amber, used to say something very similar which was, "dream big Libby, dream really really big!” So, I shared with Karin that my personal vision is to travel and facilitate yoga retreats, workshops, and teacher trainings to make enough money to build a yoga retreat center, which will include a cottage on a farm. There will be a vegetable garden leading up to the cottage and then a family room, a yoga studio and a kitchen. Upstairs there will be a couple bedrooms and bathrooms. This will be a place where women and children can come and stay if they need to escape from a domestic violence situation. They can work in the garden in exchange for food so that they do not feel as if they are taking handouts. Yoga classes will also be available to the public. I have experienced physical, verbal and emotional abuse so this dream is near and dear to my heart. I have also recovered from PTSD through yoga and meditation. I want to empower women to become their best selves and know that they do not have to be a victim.
The airlines say to put your oxygen mask on first and it’s true. You cannot help others until you help yourself. First Love Yourself (F.L.Y). Show the universe what you desire and watch it conspire to make all your dreams come true! Share the good and the bad. The thing that hurts you or scares you the most might just be your greatest asset to share with the world. The world needs YOU to show up. Be your authentic self, everyone else is taken. Live the life you love and love the life you live. I am so incredibly excited for you and I can feel the energy spiraling upward already! It’s time to step out, live your dreams and become who you were born to be!
Lovingly,
Libby
P.S. - If you are suffering from PTSD or domestic violence there are organizations that can help you. Please do not suffer in silence. Get the support that you deserve! The following links can help you get started toward a better life:
All Of The Answers You Seek Are Within YOU....
Have you spent your life wishing you could ask someone a question, needing closure, feeling abandonment, fearing something...... or just wondering what your true purpose in life might be? We face many different questions every single day! Our minds are very complex tools. But truth be told, all the answers you seek actually lie within yourself. Yes, YOU and you alone have the power to unlock all of the answers you could ever need to know.
It all begins with awareness. For me it began with a growing awareness on my yoga mat that then carried off the mat and into my daily life. That awareness evolved into a deeper consciousness. After you develop awareness, the next step is acceptance. Accepting yourself as you are and practicing full self love. Until you fully love and forgive yourself of any flaws you cannot truly accept love from others nor are you available to fully receive love.
Developing the following practices leads one to higher levels of consciousness and clarity:
• Self awareness
• Acceptance of yourself
• Self love
• Acceptance of others
• Letting go of judgement
• Releasing ego
• Daily gratitude
These can be a difficult steps because the ego jumps in and gets in the way. The ego has a place and is there to protect us, but we need to be aware of how it tries to influence us to keep it in check. Finally, there is the step of practicing being grateful for all that we have in daily life and living a life of grace. When we reach this spot suddenly all of the drama fades away and clarity arises.
Listening to your voice within, your intuition, is your best guide. Your intuitive voice is there to protect you, to lead you in the right direction, to keep you on the upward spiral. When something feels wrong, most likely IT IS. Listen to your gut. Know your worth. You were born with a purpose. You may not know the purpose yet, but if you listen to your intuition it will lead you in the right direction and the answers you seek will come. The universe will show you your path. Trust the journey. Have faith and patience. Keep your heart open and live with love, passion and a firm belief that all of your dreams will come true. YOU ARE WORTHY, YOU ARE SPECIAL, YOU ARE LOVED, YOU ARE JOY, YOU ARE LIGHT! Say positive affirmations to yourself if you feel a little low or lost. And write down your goals each day. Never give up. All is coming!
Namaste,
Libby
P.S. - If you want to learn more about awareness, acceptance, gratitude and empowerment, join me on my yoga retreat in beautiful Costa Rica this coming October. Click here to learn more.
Do you Find Yourself Comfortably Numb in Daily Life?
Often times we wake up and go through the same motions each day like robots. We are so programmed and conditioned that we forget to fully wake up to the sensations of our bodies, to take conscious control over our thoughts and to truly LIVE our lives. Repeating the same things each day is not the same as living. To truly live means to take chances, to feel the ups and downs, to laugh and to cry. Because to live means to be vulnerable. To be vulnerable means to open your heart, and to do that we have to risk being hurt. But the alternative is to shrivel up and emotionally die and that is no way to live. Without growing, changing and continuing forward, stagnancy takes over and a numbness consumes us.
We are born to love. We are born to seek joy. So make time time for the ones you love. Everything else is just an excuse. Dig deep... what is it that you are really hiding from? Are you using work, alcohol, drugs, extreme workouts, seclusion, social media or sex to numb yourself? There are many ways that we mask our pain, but it's important to really live. Not to live comfortably numb. We only get so many days. Grab the ones you love. Find the passion in your heart. Take some time and do the things that set your soul aflame! THAT is what life is really about!
It's not about the money that you make or the things that you possess when you die. All of that is actually a burden in the end. So, cherish today. Live fully in this moment and make sure that you build the blocks and lay the proper foundation for where it is that you want to go. The key is to strike a healthy balance between being HERE NOW and taking steps in the direction of your biggest dreams and aspirations. Please, I am begging you to wake up and stop feeling comfortably numb. Life is a fantastic song so let's sing it and let the music wake us up and keep us moving along in life!
I hope this leaves you inspired to do something that you love, or say the things you have wanted to say to someone you love. It takes a lot of strength and courage to live authentically, but I promise you that it is the only TRUE way to live and feel your BEST. Not everyday will be great, but there is something wonderful in every day if you are open to the miracles that are happening around you. Go for your dreams! Feel your fire or tapas (from the Yoga Sutra) within! You are a burning beautiful person with a mission to live life to the fullest. What are you waiting for?
Wishing you an inspiring week,
Libby
5 Tips for Cultivating Gratitude in your Daily Life to bring Abundance
The great poet and philosopher Ralph Waldo Emerson once said it so wisely, "cultivate the habit of being grateful for every good thing that comes to you, and give thanks continuously." When we live in the present moment and are aware of our thoughts, words and actions, and practice gratitude then and only then will we truly live in the abundance of all that we desire. Being grateful is the key to a happier and healthier life. Gratitude shifts our focus into the present moment. Being appreciated and feeling connected, feeling needed and desired are deep human needs. You can practice gratitude simply by thanking someone for a job well done at work or for something that you like that they did. A simple compliment or pat on the back goes a long way. Simply acklowledge the people you come in contact with with warmth and compassion. Set your phone down in the check out lane of the grocery store or drive through, and take a moment to say "thank you." It does not take much to practice gratitude. You will feel better and so will those around you, improving relationships and decreasing stress!
So here are my top 5 Suggestions for How To Practice Gratitude Daily to Create Abundance in Your Life:
1. Journal: write down one to five things you are grateful for each and everyday this month! Some days may be simple and other days may be more complex and that is ok. Do this without judgment of any sort. There are no wrong answers.
2. Random Acts of Kindness: Give what you can when you can. This has a ripple effect like you cannot imagine. which raises the vibrational energy all around you bringing you love and good energy. Hold the door open for a stranger, smile, buy a hot meal for a homeless person, volunteer (giving your time is an amazing gift), pay the toll for the person behind you, donate your old coats......
3. Be grateful for what you already have. Practice the concept of needing less.
4. Know that you are ENOUGH. Practice the I AM mantra each morning when you wake up. Say I AM and then follow that with possitive affirmations such as I am enough, I am loved, I am strong, I am forgiving, I am compassionate, I am grateful, I am kind.... Then look in the mirror and say "I LOVE YOU" yes, to YOURSELF! Practice loving yourself! It is amazing how far this will go. You must first love yourself deeply before you can love others and before others can love you.
5. Finally, learn from your own experiences. Be aware of what shifts your energy from dark to light, from sadness to happiness... then do more of what makes you happy and THAT will bring gratitude.
Often the people who have suffered the most trauma and hardships in life are the most grateful and for the most simple things. So, my advice is keep it simple, stay aware, stay grateful and keep your heart wide open. Let that love energy flow freely. Peace and love to you all this holiday season and throughout the new year!
Much gratitude,
Libby
Relationships 101
Are you searching for the love of your life or struggling to hold onto your marriage? The bottom line is that we all have basic needs. The bigger issue is how to interact in a supportive respectful way. After being in a few relationships myself and experiencing one particular tramatic experience, I think I have a good grasp on what works and what does not.
First, find someone with whom you share common interests. Be sure you can be great friends before moving into a romantic relationship because the passion unfortunately usually does not last.
Next, learn your partners love language. We all have certain innate needs that we desire our partner to fill. The five most common are quality time & conversation, sexual touch, gifts, acts of service, and words of affirmation. Learn what your partner needs and communicate in a way that honors their love language.
Keep your passion and sex life active! Many people overlook this, especially years into the relationship and with the hectic schedules that come with raising kids. Sex is more than pleasuring your partner. It is a way to connect and become one. Talk to each other, try new things and enjoy one another. No matter how long you have been together, always date your partner. Try to remember those first months and how much effort you made and then continue that at least occasionally!
Stay fit! Ladies and gentlemen take care of your bodies. It is important for health reasons and your partner wants you around for a long time. But let's face it... Many of us gain significant weight and let our bodies go when we know someone has committed to us. Don't do that!!! Yes, they may still love you, but the truth is that they will absolutely appreciate you taking care of your body and staying fit and active!
Do things together. It is ok to have independence and occasionally do things on your own. Please do not get me wrong, but for the most part when you go to events together, or garden together, or whatever, you will form a tighter bond. So do things with each other and enjoy life together.
No bickering! No one likes to be around the couple who argues all the time. Compliment each other. Support each other's stories! Listen to one another. Laugh together. Life is short so enjoy it!
Practice honesty and forgiveness simultaneously. No one is perfect. We all have an innate need to feel trusted and to trust. Loyalty is very important in a relationship. Always be honest with your partner, even if you know you have done something that may hurt that person. It is important to be honest and forthcoming. If your relationship is strong and your partner is forgiving and practices unconditional love, you will survive (within reason). Of course, you must also practice respect for your partner and never do anything in the relationship that could cause you to lose this special person. As long as you practice this, then honesty, trust and forgiveness are relatively easy.
That sums it up. You do not need to spend a lot of money to enjoy quality time together. Go on a hike, have a picnic, lay under the stars, light some candles or just hold hands. Let your partner know everyday in some way how much they mean to you. We are never guarenteed tomorrow so treasure today. Tell your partner how much you love him or her and then follow that with action! Life may be hard at times, but it's a little easier with a loving partner. Let's face it... All we really need is LOVE!
Loving vibes,
Libby