Holidays may look and feel different this year whether that is because of Covid-19 restrictions, a recent change in your relationship status, or because you are away from home for the first time. It is important to embrace the current situation the way it is, let go of past traditions and expectations, and create a new experience that feels right to you.
Humans are naturally resistant to change and during the holidays we gravitate towards being mentally and emotionally on edge. Thanksgiving tends to be more laid back than some of the other holidays because it is mainly about football, food, and family. It is that last part that is conducive to some conflict and resistance though. Whether it is who makes the better green bean casserole or spending time with the in-laws holiday’s are likely to bring out the tension. They are especially stressful when you are going through a break-up, divorce, are in a toxic relationship, or are newly uncoupled. On top of it all, 2020 is throwing Covid-19 into the mix just to see how we really juggle our relationships and how good we are with patience and adjusting plans.
Navigating how to share children when they are involved is part of the difficulty. Try to do so with the interest of the children at heart. Be fair and try to make decisions as business partners so that emotions and ego do not get in the way and cause additional harm. Children find holidays magical and we do not want to take those priceless years and memories away because of our differences.
I remember the first year I was divorced. My ex and I were trying so hard to be amicable for the sake of the kids. He tried to include me in their dinner X-Mas eve and I just was not ready. My Parents also tried to include me in the family celebration and I was not ready. I needed to be alone and yet I was sad and somewhat angry I was home alone. I needed to process and work through those emotions though. I needed that time. I skipped my traditional routines and fixed myself a cheese platter for dinner with a glass of nice wine. I watched a movie and it turned out to be a great evening. After the kids got home, I tucked them in, read Twas the Night Before Christmas, and then wrapped the presents and went to bed. I was able to pull out of my funk after fully processing my emotions. Christmas Day was wonderful and I received the gift of healing. Remember to accept yourself where you are and allow your emotions to flow freely. There is no right or wrong way to cope during the holidays, especially the first one on your own.
This is a strange year for all of us with the limitations on gatherings. What is most important is to make the best of it in the way we can as individuals. My family will be FaceTiming with my sister’s family this year and with my niece. It is hard when extended family cannot all be together, but I am very grateful for technology. Wherever you are this year, know that you are never really alone. We joke that 2020 has been an awful year, but it has given us the opportunity to spend time alone, to reflect, to spend time together as a family, to work from home in many cases and all of these things are truly gifts. Prologed isolation is damaging, but we can still stay connected and very plugged in to one another. We are just finding more creative ways of doing so and at the same time becoming stronger as individuals and getting to know ourselves.
Give thanks for what you have rather than what you do not have and the universe will provide even more. Great things are coming! Celebrate the victories and let go of what no longer serves you. Eat the leftovers and indulge in the pie. Live the life you love and love the life you live. That is what it is all about my friends.
Many Thanks to YOU,
Libby
P.S. What are you doing this year for Thanksgiving? Please feel free to comment below. That is one way that we can come together collectively and eliminate some of the feelings of isolation. Sending you love and light as I indulge on my stuffing and pecan pie ( yes I love my carbs 😉).