Do you practice empathetic listening in your relationship?
Communication is a critical component in successful relationships.
The thing is you do not necessarily have to be a good communicator, you just need to be kind, caring, and willing to try! Showing your partner you can actively listen with understanding and patience and that you truly care about what they are saying will go a long way. There may even be times when you do not understand and you disagree, but you can feel where they are coming from and still listen with empathy.
Remember, you are always in the foxhole with your partner. You always have their back. Stay grateful for one another and show that gratitude daily in simple ways. When you disagree do so in a way that is still respectful and does not hurt anyone’s feelings. Words can be forgiven, but not often forgotten.
Empathetic Listening:
Listen to understand- Know that this is not about YOU. Listen purposefully. Try to understand what is being said and not just what is relevant to you. Repeat back what was said paraphrasing what you heard to be sure you understood. Give your partner the chance to clarify if you missed anything. If at anytime in conversation you feel triggered by a negative feeling or emotion, try to stay present in the conversation, and focus on listening. Call a respectful time out if it gets to the point where you can no longer focus your attention.
Ask open ended questions- avoid providing solutions. Sometimes people just want to talk to clear their mind and are not looking for answers. Instead, show interest by gathering more information. Ask relevant questions, keeping the discussion about the idea or issue at hand.
Avoid distractions- put phones and computers away before starting the conversation. Turn the T.V. And music off. Give your full attention. We have two ears and one mouth for a reason. If you get distracted by other thoughts bring your awareness back to the present conversation.
Practice Non-Judgement- watch for preconceived ideas about the topic being discussed and never criticize. Remember, you are on the same team.
Watch Non Verbal Communication- much of what we say is through body language and tone of voice. Be sure to sit in a relaxed way with fists and hands relaxed. Try to talk in slow calm tones so that the information can be better perceived. Eye contact can be very helpful in facilitating a deeper connection. Please do not try to guess or jump ahead to what your partner is going to try to say no matter how well you feel you can finish his or her sentence.
When we talk about empathetic communication it is important to know it applies to all relationships, not just romantic ones. So, when you gather with family over the holidays remember to embrace these five tips- especially if it is a story you may have heard for the umpteenth time!
Thank you for reading and listening to my thoughts. Stay warm and bright!
Light & Love,
Libby