Wellness Blog to awaken, inspire & empower you to manifest abundance in all areas of life and to overcome obstacles using my personal philosophy of awareness, acceptance, and forgiveness
Blending homes in a relationship can seem complicated and cause tension. I believe it takes a lot of patience, respect, compromise, and commitment.
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Please click this link to read Redfin’s blog where I was featured as a relationship coach. I hope you find it helpful! How to Live Peacefully with a Messy Partner.
Peace & Light,
LIbby
When we activate the parasympathetic nervous system through yoga and breath work we reduce blood pressure and return to a calm natural state. When we are in the fight or flight state our sympathetic nervous system is activated and our thoughts are often distorted. Remember to pause and breathe. Respond rather than reacting. Use these tools to reduce anxiety.
Relationships are difficult because they force a level of vulnerability that makes both people reveal who they really are. Deep down we all fear being ourselves, we fear we are not enough for our partner, and we fear that if our partner knows all of our flaws they will not love us. It is critical to love and accept each other physically, emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually exactly as you are when you meet without wanting to change a thing. Acceptance is the key to success in a lasting relationship.
It is also hard because it forces us to look at who we really are. Relationships provide a mirror that is necessary for our own personal growth and it certainly is not easy. When we are alone we can convince ourselves of anything, but in a relationship we have accountability. This means we see things in ourselves we do not always like, but this is how we grow and improve. It is important to be grateful for the mirror and the awareness that our partner brings to us.
Choose a partner who allows you to feel safe, particularly if you have suffered from P.T.S.D. This way when you do disagree your partner can soothe you rather than escalate the argument. Disagreements are a normal part of relationships, but you can get through them with the right person when you know you are on the same team, remain respectful, protect each other, and stay loyal and loving.
Acceptance: you both accept yourself and each other exactly as you are without wanting to change anything. You love your partner flaws and all. You both want to practice personal growth.
Security: you protect each other and have each other’s back through thick and thin. You know your partner would do absolutely anything for you. You feel safe emotionally, physically, financially, and spiritually.
Laughter: you laugh and are playful and have a sense of adventure with your partner. You both enjoy similar things and there is a sense of ease. You should also enjoy everyday life together. You do not have to worry about looking silly in front of your partner because they love that about you.
Disagreements: you can respectfully disagree without putting each other down, name calling, or disrespecting. You can still honor your own opinions and point of view.
Space: you are comfortable doing things apart and independently as we as doing things as a couple. You can give each other space because you have complete trust.
Loyalty: you would never think about cheating on this person in fact there is no one you would rather see. You would never do anything to risk losing this person.
You never need to force a relationship. If you are not happy or even worse, if you are with someone you feel dims the light of your soul by emotionally or verbally abusing you leave the relationship. No one in the world can complete you but YOU. Be o.k. with being alone and be confident with who you are before entering a relationship so that you can have a solid foundation on which to build your life together. Relationships are intended to help us reach our full potential in personal growth. Choose wisely because your relationship will affect all aspects of your life ranging from your career to your sleep habits.
Love & Light,
Libby
P.S. I appreciate you taking the time to read this. If you enjoyed it please hit the heart and feel free to share it with your friends. Many people are struggling in relationships and we all deserve happiness. Just a reminder if you are on a desk top the side bar has a link, mobile users please scroll to the bottom, and a code '“gratitude” for 30% off at Cresent Treasures which has stunning and affordable jewelry! A small percentage of your purchase helps me to support the work I do.
There is no worse feeling than being trapped, but what if we are really only trapped by the confines of our own emotions? Fear is not fatal. If you fall simply get back up. Take the analogy of a toddler learning to walk. They take a few steps before falling and as parents we joyfully cheer them on. The child may sit, laugh, or even cry before getting back up and trying again with forward momentum. It is important to remember that child, as well as that resilient spirit, is still within us all. It is easy to blossom into our best being when we are loved, but when we have suffered trauma our brains are wired for protection and it becomes harder to live from a place of love and vulnerability. Sometimes we have to be our own advocate and cheerleader until we find a mate who can support us in the ways we need and that’s ok too. In fact, it is extremely healthy to learn to be independent.
Most of us by adulthood have experienced some form of trauma to some extent. People who experience more traumatic events such as witnessing death, going through abuse, rape, war, or a severe accident may develop post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), which is a psychiatric condition. Doctors are recognizing yoga and meditation more as late as some of the best healing modalities for PTSD. Coaching is a great way to tap into goal setting and reinventing yourself as you process and learn to express your emotions. Painful events wake us up and make us show up in life. Sometimes something we think is bad turns out to be our greatest blessing. Spiritual growth and higher consciousness come from dark and difficult times. But, with that new awakening we often are drawn to an entirely new course for our life that a life coach can help us to navigate.
“It is how we respond to a traumatic event that determines whether trauma will be a cruel and punishing Medusa turning us into stone, or whether it will be a spiritual teacher taking us along vast and uncharted pathways.”
Avoidance and isolation are very common practices among people with PTSD which makes sense, but the only way to overcome the trauma is to face the FEAR of the emotions and to go through the pain rather than avoid it. FEAR after all is false evidence appearing real OR said another way face everything and rise! When we illuminate the darkness in our hearts and minds the demons and monsters can no longer whisper to and control us. We take back our power. It goes back to the saying, “What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger.” Surround yourself with supportive people who will encourage you to continue your journey and pursue your purpose in life. Nothing comes easy and it certainly does not come if we do not try for it. It is very important in the healing process to allow ourselves to feel every emotion and to process those emotions in constructive ways. So for example when you feel angry and need to punch something maybe take a kick boxing class. Start by setting a clear vision for what you want in life. Be extremely detailed. Envision it as if you have already accomplished it. And remember to expect some set backs along the climb to the top.
Life weaves us in and out of peaks and valleys for a reason. We reach the top of that mountain peak for a moment of glory, before riding the back down into the dark valley once more. This is the natural cycle of life. This is how life continuously challenges us and then allows us to rest. It really is about doing the self-work, building our own confidence, following our passion, and living the life we love. Often we have to go inward to find what we are looking for through observation, self-study, self-acceptance and self-love. And then have the courage to face our fears and take that next leap of faith when we are challenged. When you are on top of the mountain in your glory live it up and let that momentum give you the courage to carry you through the darker times which will unavoidably come. Keep practicing self love and self care along the journey. Remember to stay humble and kind. You will be surrounded by miracles and as you reach this higher state of conciousness those miracles will become more apparent.
In these moments of triumph during awakening the importance of the past and the future fade and we become fully immersed in the present where we feel safe, joyful, unscathed, divine, and connected. You feel the ultimate sense of gratitude. In yoga we call this Samadhi, or enlightenment. It is the place of no division. The place of oneness with all beings. This is the goal of all human life. Maslow would call this Self Realization or Transcendence. Each time we have an “Ah ha moment” and suddenly everything makes sense, each new accomplishment, each level of understanding, each fear conquered these are all examples of moments of awakening. Suddenly stress fades away, you stop comparing yourself to others, you no longer feel a need for anything, and a sense of utter contentment overcomes you. Imagine complete relief and total ecstasy.
Emotionally free people by contrast are more likely to feel secure trying new things, staying in a growth mindset, pushing their edge and enjoying more of those peak moments where confidence is ultimately created. So, challenge yourself to push your edge, try something new once in a while, say yes. Get unstuck. We only get one chance at this beautiful life so we might as well live it the way we want. It is never too late to start over and reinvent the life you love. Fall in love with your life all over again.
I hope this blog will help you face your fears, overcome your challenges, rise to the best version of yourself, and if you are working to overcome trauma I hope you are able to keep putting one foot in front of the other so to speak and just keep going one day at a time facing one hurdle at a time. Each peak is a huge victory on your part so pause and be proud of yourself.
Join my online Overcoming Trauma and Anxiety to Create the Life You Love and Deserve Workshop
Healing Wishes,
Libby
P.S. I hope you will scroll to the bottom for those on your mobile phones and for those on computers I hope you will notice the side bar and visit Cresent Treasures! I am super excited to be an affiliate of theirs and represent their stunning and affordable jewelry! By shopping and using the code “gratitude” you will get 30% off and it will help support my efforts in writing! I will be showcasing new athletic wear soon too so stay tuned! I only represent brands that are high quality and that I believe in.
One way to know if you are stuck in an unhealthy or toxic relationship, is if it is costing you other important relationships.
You need to really be able to step back and evaluate your friendships and other family relationships. Are you being isolated? Are you being talked down to or manipulated. Truly listen to your loved ones because sometimes they need to be your voice of reason when your mind has been so manipulated by the person you love.
Often, the person we think loves us, is emotionally abusing us. Sometimes, they are not even aware because they are covert narcissistic. And other times they are aware and are narcissistic and want to control or manipulate the situation. Either way, it is unhealthy. Especially, in the case where children are involved and neglected as a result of being squeezed out of the relationship altogether. It is terribly heartbreaking to watch. Yet, sooo many people endure it. It is more common than one would imagine.
I would just encourage all of you, as my friends and readers, to please be aware of the signs of both emotional abuse and of covert narcissistic tendencies. Emotional abuse is equally as harmful as physical abuse, and although we do not see the wounds, the light in the soul is dimmed each time and the self esteem is deeply damaged. Those wounds go far beneath the surface.
We can ALWAYS change and reinvent our lives. I am living proof. So please, if you see a friend or family member silently suffering- offer to help by listening to her story, maybe offer to help find her a good therapist. Most of all, let her know she does not have to stay in that situation. I think personally most women sadly feel stuck financially. But, I can tell you it is very liberating once you realize you really CAN make it on your own. So, I hope my list of ways to Level Up in 2021 will help inspire a few people to take a leap of faith and truly improve your life. You deserve to be happy and free! And if you feel confused- you are not happy and not with the right person! You are being manipulated.
Peace & Light,
Libby
My goal is to AWAKEN, INSPIRE, AND EMPOWER you to reach the best version of yourself through AWARENESS, ACCEPTANCE, AND FORGIVENESS in order to manifest abundance in all areas of life. Please sign up below to receive special offers and the latest updates!
