Better Living

The Juicy Truth About Why Relationships are so Difficult

Relationships are difficult because they force a level of vulnerability that makes both people reveal who they really are. Deep down we all fear being ourselves, we fear we are not enough for our partner, and we fear that if our partner knows all of our flaws they will not love us. It is critical to love and accept each other physically, emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually exactly as you are when you meet without wanting to change a thing. Acceptance is the key to success in a lasting relationship.

It is also hard because it forces us to look at who we really are. Relationships provide a mirror that is necessary for our own personal growth and it certainly is not easy. When we are alone we can convince ourselves of anything, but in a relationship we have accountability. This means we see things in ourselves we do not always like, but this is how we grow and improve. It is important to be grateful for the mirror and the awareness that our partner brings to us.

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Choose a partner who allows you to feel safe, particularly if you have suffered from P.T.S.D. This way when you do disagree your partner can soothe you rather than escalate the argument. Disagreements are a normal part of relationships, but you can get through them with the right person when you know you are on the same team, remain respectful, protect each other, and stay loyal and loving.

You will know you are in a healthy relationship when you when feel:

  • Acceptance: you both accept yourself and each other exactly as you are without wanting to change anything. You love your partner flaws and all. You both want to practice personal growth.

  • Security: you protect each other and have each other’s back through thick and thin. You know your partner would do absolutely anything for you. You feel safe emotionally, physically, financially, and spiritually.

  • Laughter: you laugh and are playful and have a sense of adventure with your partner. You both enjoy similar things and there is a sense of ease. You should also enjoy everyday life together. You do not have to worry about looking silly in front of your partner because they love that about you.

  • Disagreements: you can respectfully disagree without putting each other down, name calling, or disrespecting. You can still honor your own opinions and point of view.

  • Space: you are comfortable doing things apart and independently as we as doing things as a couple. You can give each other space because you have complete trust.

  • Loyalty: you would never think about cheating on this person in fact there is no one you would rather see. You would never do anything to risk losing this person.

You never need to force a relationship. If you are not happy or even worse, if you are with someone you feel dims the light of your soul by emotionally or verbally abusing you leave the relationship. No one in the world can complete you but YOU. Be o.k. with being alone and be confident with who you are before entering a relationship so that you can have a solid foundation on which to build your life together. Relationships are intended to help us reach our full potential in personal growth. Choose wisely because your relationship will affect all aspects of your life ranging from your career to your sleep habits.

Love & Light,

Libby

P.S. I appreciate you taking the time to read this. If you enjoyed it please hit the heart and feel free to share it with your friends. Many people are struggling in relationships and we all deserve happiness. Just a reminder if you are on a desk top the side bar has a link, mobile users please scroll to the bottom, and a code '“gratitude” for 30% off at Cresent Treasures which has stunning and affordable jewelry! A small percentage of your purchase helps me to support the work I do.

Simple Yoga Stretches to Relieve Low Back Pain

The Growing Epidemic of Back Pain

At some point in your life, if not already, you will most likely suffer from low back pain. If you have, or currently do suffer, from back pain you know how painful and at times even debilitating it is. According to Mayo Clinic, “Back pain is one of the most common reasons people go to the doctor or miss work, and is the leading cause of disability worldwide.” Many factors contribute to this growing problem including sedentary lifestyles, poor core strength, tight hips & shoulders, and obesity. Back pain is most commonly treated with opioids, which as you know, are very addictive and can then lead to the addiction of other drugs such as heroine when the prescription runs out.

We can prevent back pain, in many cases, by increasing low impact exercises, building core strength, increasing flexibility, maintaining a healthy diet and controlling our weight, and avoiding smoking.

Causes of Low Back Pain

In some cases you should consult a doctor. Low back pain could be muscular strain, degenerative or slipped disc, compressed nerves, or sometimes is even a sign of internal organ problems such as a kidney infection. Doctors will often order an x-ray or MRI to check for signs of a more serious issue. However, if it is muscular strain there are quite a few simple yoga stretches that can offer great relief without turning to prescription drugs. Our body is designed to heal itself, we just need to help it along at times.

Everything I offer you in my blogs is based on personal experience. Lately I have been having pretty consistent back pain that comes and goes based on my activity level. One day, several months ago, it hurt so bad that Chris had to literally lift me out of bed. He took me to the hospital and we both had hoped for x-rays to find out what was causing the pain. No avail, the doctor was certain my pain was muscular because she could press on my spine and I felt relief rather than increased pain. She suggested yoga which I chuckled about since I practice daily. I asked if I should avoid any postures like twisting and she said no. I then started going for regular massage therapy. Turns out the massage therapist helped me more than the doctor, shocker right?! She said in so many words I have a tight ass lol. But, in all seriousness it made total sense. My piriformis muscle in my glutes were extremely tight. I knew right away what stretches I needed, I just would not have known that my low back pain was caused by my buttocks muscles. So, I hope that if you are experiencing back pain these postures and stretches will help!

Simple Yoga Postures & Stretches to Relieve Back Pain

 

TADASANA, OR MOUNTAIN POSE:

  • Practice equal standing (with big toes together and heels slightly apart or you can have feet hip width apart), distributing the weight evenly between both feet as well as evenly through all four corners of each foot.

  • place your hands tohether at heart center OR turn your palms forward drawing the finger tips toward the earth

  • Root down and grow the crown of your head high toward the sky, engaging your uddiyana bandha (pull in core) and drawing up the moola bandha ( similar to a keegle exercise)

The beauty of this pose is that it can be practiced anywhere at anytime. Try it in line for the grocery or really any time you are standing. The benefits of this pose include increased awareness, improved posture, iproves arches in feet, and increases stability.

ADHO MUKHA SVANASANA, OR DOWNWARD FACING DOG:

  • From plank position lift your hips up and back working to get the heels toward the floor

  • spread fingers wide and press into all ten fingers, pads, and palms

  • engage your core, relieving the spine, and preventing you from caving through your chest, creating an inverted V. Relax your neck and take 3-5 breaths.

As you strengthen core muscles you are also improving flexibility through the hips and shoulders. This posture truly works the entire body. If you practice Ashtanga Yoga you know that most down dogs are followed by upward dogs which move the spine in the opposite direction. Normally keeping this balance is good, however upward facing dog is hard on people with low back pain, soI recommend doing a pushup and skipping up dog. Also important to note this stretch can be modified and preformed my placing your hands shoulder width apart onto the back of a chair or even a wall. Walk your feet back until arms are straight. Stretch your hips back toward the wall behind you. Stay here 3-5 breaths.

NAVASANA, OR BOAT POSE:

  • Sit back on your tailbone lifting toes to eye level. Feel free to hold the backs of legs for added support as you continue to build core strength, other wise reach fingers toward toes.

  • leen upper body back rounding shoulders up and back, elongate the spine, keep shins parallel to earth

  • If you feel strong you may straighten the legs or perhaps lean torso back further and begin to lower legs toward earth

Strengthening the core protects our back. this pose also improves posture.

PARSVA UPAVISTA KONASANA, OR SEATED WIDE LEGGED STRETCH:

  • Inhale, sit tall and exhale right shoulder to right thigh, gazing upward

  • Extend left arm over left ear and reach out through your finger tips

  • feel the long side body stretch as your ribs expand, loosening the “cage” that holds our heart

This stretch lengthens and strengthens the spine and back muscles, improves spinal alignment, and improves posture. It also opens the hips, groin, and pelvis and increases blood flow to these areas.

 

THREAD THE NEEDLE:

  • Laying flat on back, bend knees with soles of feet on ground

  • Cross left foot over right knee and raise right toes to eye level (parallel to ground)

  • Thread arms around right thigh and gently pull thigh toward chest and using core to push low back into earth. Hold 3-5 breaths and then switch legs.

This pose feels highly therapeutic to my low back. It stretches the hips which reduces stiffness in both the hips and low back. This is a milder version of pigeon pose.

SUPTA MATSYENDRASANA, OR TWO KNEE RECLINED SPINAL TWIST:

  • Laying flat on your bend knees

  • Lift hips and rotate both legs to the far right. If this is too much pressure on knees or hips support the legs with a pillow or rolled blanket

  • Take arms out to your side in a “T” or place in “bank robber” position. Turn head to your left. Stay 3-5 breaths and repeat on the opposite side.

This pose stretches the upper and middle spine. It alleviates stiffness and low back pain. If you have furry friends they will offer assists ;)

Staying Mobile

If you sit at a desk the majority of the day for work or school try a few of the above stretches periodically. Change positions often and get outside for a short walk any time opportunity allows. Movement not only benefits the body, but it connects the body with the mind allowing us to become more mindful. If you are active at work and need to lift heavy items lift from the legs to protect your back. These stretches will also benefit you. If you found this article helpful please scroll down under the tags and click the heart on the left to give some love and let me know if I am doing a good job delivering helpful information.

With Health & Gratitude,

Libby

P. S. Have you seen our new logo? If not visit our home page on the website! The yin yang symbolizes balance and reflection. The lotus flower represents our growth up through the muck and mire and into the light where we bloom. Green is the symbol of growth, abundance, harmony, and nature. While you are on the website please sign up for the newsletter. Stay tuned for next Monday’s blog on Stress Relief During the Holiday Season.

 

New Year Better YOU

Each new day we wake and it is essentially a reset button, a chance to start anew. And as we approach the New Year, this is truly an exciting opportunity. Each year you hear people setting New Year's resolutions, but what does that mean anyway? And… why do most people fail at their newly set promises after one short month?  

I personally believe that the problem is two pronged. Part one is that we set resolutions or goals from our egos rather than our souls. What does that mean? When you live from the ego you do things to please others because it is somewhat expected of you. When you live from your soul you do what FEELS good to you and what brings you true joy from within. The other part is that we set goals based on what we feel society deems acceptable, and this is often in opposition to the calling of our souls. 

So, when you set your intentions to go to the gym three times a week, or to lose ten pounds, or to stop eating desserts, or to give up fried foods… these resolutions often do not last because deep down they do not satisfy your soul. You do not want to go to the gym because you want to workout, you go because ultimately you want to be loved and accepted by others and you feel that losing weight and being fit will get you that result. That is the subconscious mind at work. Therefore, the more realistic New Year's resolution would be to work on loving yourself and self acceptance. Working out may be a part of that. The same can be said about improving your eating habits, but the desire to change has to come from within yourself. 

When setting New Year's resolutions, I would encourage you to look at them as separate goals for the year ahead rather than one big thing.  For example; set small easily attainable goals, medium size goals, and then perhaps one really big goal. Giving yourself some challenges is good because it is through the challenges that we grow, but we also want to set ourselves up to succeed. We want the new year to truly be a chance to grow into the best version of ourselves to date. You will not stop growing at the end of 2018, this is a beautiful life long journey.  It is about learning what worked in 2017 and what you could do a little better. For 2018 visualize the new things that you want to try, the exciting places you want to visit and the ways that you can contribute to make the world a tiny bit better. 

The easy part is setting intentions or goals. The hard part is following through with them. The magic happens through our actions. So once you set your intentions, find friends or mentors who will hold you accountable. Manifest your intentions by writing them down and taking action toward them each day. Another great idea that was given to me by a friend is to hang sticky note reminders to yourself on the bathroom mirror (maybe to love yourself), or on your refrigerator (to make wise decisions), and in your car (to release the road rage, and use the time in your car to relax through music or comedy or maybe just quiet reflection). Regardless, these little kind reminders to are a fantastic way to stay on track and they really do work!

I am incredibly grateful for 2017. It was NOT my best year. In fact it was rather difficult and I am definitely ready to move forward. I know that 2018 is going to be amazing! My personal resolutions for this coming year are to eat plant based, sleep more regularly, organize my home better, waste less food, give my time serving others (volunteering), travel to new places and to grow my online business, which will include videos and yoga tutorials. Those are my BIG goals : )

Happy New Year from my family to yours!

Whatever your New Year Resolution may be, remember most importantly to practice:

  1. Awareness each day: How are you feeling, check in and see how your goals are going….
  2. Acceptance: If you fall off track a day or a week do not give up! Simply start over or where you are, it is NEVER too late! Be gentle with yourself.
  3. Forgiveness: IF you fall off track, get derailed or decide to change course, forgive yourself first and foremost. You are allowed to change your mind. 

Always F.L.Y. (First Love Yourself)

It is with great gratitude, love and excitement that I wish you all a Happy New Year full of health, love, happiness and abundance. May all of your dreams come true! 

Peace & Love,

Libby

 

P.S. - Please help me raise the vibration as we close on 2017 and welcome 2018 and share your New Year's resolutions, goals & intentions for the year ahead in the comment section below. By writing them down we are putting them into motion and therefore into action. Thank you for helping me on my journey! Together as a community, I know we will soar to new heights in 2018!  

Tis' the Season to BELIEVE

Do you BELIEVE? This is a common question that is asked to children this time of year and it most often refers to their belief in Santa Claus. But the magic is really so much deeper and more important than that. It is also about believing in the magic of all things being possible. For children at Christmas, it is the hope that they might get a gift that would otherwise never be possible.   

I want to shift to reality now and ask you to pause and reflect on the word, BELIEVE…. What does it mean to you as an adult? Not just this holiday season, but anytime that you see this beautiful word. What does it personally say to you? Please take a minute to think about it and even consider writing a few thoughts down on paper. 

This is one of my very favorite words. It symbolizes magic and hope. At Christmas it is the hope that magic and faith will be restored for children and that peace will be brought to the world in a quiet gentle way. But, it is really so much bigger than that! There are miracles occurring around you every minute of every day, however, we are all too often too busy and unaware of them. Believe, believe in the magic within yourself! That my friends is the greatest gift of all! You have all that you need within yourself! You have all of the answers and all of the magic, the light, the love, the faith already. Sometimes your light is dimmed a bit and sometimes it is extinguished all together,  and yet that one word BELIEVE is there as a reminder to never ever give up. It is never to late to reignite your fire within, to start over, to rewrite your ending and believe in the magic of your life. Believe in miracles, because they really DO exist!

 Great things are coming in 2018! So take one more moment to reflect upon 2017, to give thanks for all of the good memories that you made and to set your intentions for the things that you would like to accomplish in 2018. It is good to set some small goals and some bigger goals. Set yourself up for success, but also give yourself some challenges to work toward. You are capable of more than you may know. It is through the challenges of life that we grow and become the best versions of ourselves. 

 So if you have a BELIEVE sign out for he holidays, consider keeping it up throughout this winter. And if you do not, that’s ok, but when you see this word stop and pause and let it serve as a reminder of all of the magic and the possibilities that could be coming your way.  

Tis the season to BELIEVE. Believe in the power of love, believe in the magic within, believe in creating the life you love, believe in yourself, believe in acceptance, believe in endless possibilities, believe in happiness, believe in forgiveness, believe in peace, believe, believe, believe…… 

Faith and Hope,

Libby

Over the Rhine, Cincinnati.  

Watch the music video below and notice the same inspiration happening all over the world.  It is these tiny miracles that bring us together, unite us, and raise the vibration.  Believe in UNITY. 

 P.S. - If your light has gone out or you see someone whose has, reach out. WE all need to practice awareness and give love when we can to help people who are feeling hopeless, and ask for love when we need a little light ourselves. Sometimes in our culture it is hard to ask for help. It can make us feel too vulnerable, but it is also natural to feel depleted from time to time. We are all in this together.  If you feel like you have no one to fill your cup, a yoga studio is always an accepting place where you will feel very positive energy. Never give up. 

Give Love for a REAL Holiday Treat

The holidays can be joyous, but they can also be the cause of tremendous stress. This holiday season, put a little soul into your step. Too much time is spent shopping, fighting the crowds and suddenly our stress levels go up. There is a lot of pressure behind gift giving. Your kids want things that are often more than you can afford and yet you hate to disappoint them. In some instances we overextend our budgets, which creates unnecessary stress and resentment all for the latest toy or gaming system that will be quickly forgotten and replaced with a new version within months. We start buying things for people without putting much thought into it just for the sake of crossing it off our to do lists. It almost feels obligatory to give "Aunt Suzy" a gift, so we send a coffee cake. But maybe Suzy is on a diet or does not even want to eat the cake. Now she feels stressed because you sent a cake that she feels that she needs to eat out of guilt. Why do we do this? What is it all about? 

The real meaning behind this holiday is the miracle that a baby was born. It is indeed a birthday celebration, but the materialism and commercialism have gotten blown so far out of proportion that rather than it bringing us joy, they often cause us stress. Did we get the right thing? Will "Aunt Suzy" like it?  

We also blow through the opening of Christmas presents and then often face a period of feeling let down, after which leads to self pity…. Wondering why your loved one did not get you the gift that really would have meant a lot to you, or that one thing that you really wanted... Please, take a moment to pause and reflect this holiday season. Really think about the difference between giving from obligation and giving from your heart. When we give from a place of pure love and give only with purpose, the gift will always be well received.  It will be a gift of love and joy! 

Consider surrendering from the attachment to things. The idea that less is more is very fulfilling.  When I find the perfect gift for someone that I know is just sooo exciting, it does not matter to me if it is just a three dollar pair of socks or a major gift. It is all about the true JOY of giving without a single thought of what I may or may not get in return.

The older I get, the less I want and need.  I realize that things do not bring lasting happiness. What really brings me joy are the people I am surrounded with and the wonderful memories that we make together. It truly is more about who is around the tree than what is under the tree. Our worth is not based on THINGS, it is based on memories, love and gratitude.

So, pause and slow down. Breathe deeply and think of the people who have absolutely nothing this Christmas. Perhaps the best gift of all is giving your time to help out at a shelter, or donating a warm coat to someone in need? Teach your children to appreciate the lights, the meals and the special times that we spend together. Appreciate the little things rather than always wanting more. This is not only a Christmas sentiment, but something that matters all year round. Practice gratitude for what you do have and for your love. It is also ok to change your holiday traditions. We often get stuck in our ways of celebrating, but as our children grow up, consider allowing your traditions to evolve. The truth is that the holiday atmosphere changes as our children grow into young adults and presents naturally become less of a focus. So take the pressure off of yourself and go back to enjoying life.

Accept what is in each moment, be aware of your surroundings, as well as your words and actions.  Practice kindness and spread holiday cheer. After all, as long as you are on the “NICE” list… you have nothing to fret about.  

Do not get your tinsel in a tangle.  Enjoy the holiday season!  Winter is a time of restoration for our bodies and our souls before emerging stronger in the spring. Rest, enjoy a good book or good music, pull out some board games and enjoy what you have rather than wanting more. 

Peace & Joy,

Libby

P.S. - Also remember and hold space for the people whose hearts ache more than normal during the holidays. It can be an emotionally painful and sometimes lonely time. Consider reaching out and including friends and neighbors in your family celebrations throughout the season. Remember the saying, "it takes a village," well it truly does and tis the season to give, but the gift of love, not things. 

Love takes Courage and a Box of Kleenex

Have you ever been addicted to something? Have you ever suffered extreme loss? What about fears? Do you fear anything so much that it haunts you or shuts you down? There is a song on the radio that made me realize that love is just as powerful as any drug out there (watch the video below). Music is powerful. It can trigger memories, feelings and instincts. Love, however, takes you to your highest high and also your lowest low. You put your faith and trust in your significant other and sometimes with no warning you are left alone. This causes feelings of abandonment and insecurity. It causes us to close down and a little piece of us dies. Losing a loved one in a relationship is a huge cause of stress, whether it is a long term relationship or a marriage. You share memories, laughter, and intimacy with that person. Those memories are triggered for a long time to come and unfortunately cannot be turned off easily, which makes it difficult to move forward and to love again. But surrenduring to what is and knowing when to walk away is key! It allows you to open the door for what may be. 

Now, lets talk about the ego. It is extremely important to keep the ego in check when going through difficult times during a breakup. We go through every range of emotions from sadness to anger and everything in between. But, compassion is critical. Compassion is your desire to alleviate the suffering of others, or your feeling of sympathy toward others. In the case of a breakup, compassion toward your Ex can be difficult, but when we set the ego aside and realize why we loved that person to begin with it is a little easier. Try to maintain compassion. In the end you will feel better for it. Positivity attracts positivity. Your heart will heal faster as a result. Remember, always forgive and rise above. Holding grudges only hurts you more in the end.

 

So, grab a spoon and a pint of ice cream. Binge watch your favorite Netflix shows for a day and then get outside and go for a hike. Reconnect with the things you love to do. Stay plugged into your friends and family. This might be hard if you shared mutual friends, but make the effort. If need be have open communication with your Ex about how and when you will see friends so that you do not awkwardly show up at the same place at the same time. Respect each other as you move on. Sometimes zero communication, at least for a brief period, is easier. Other times treating each other as business partners helps the transition. You will find what works best. Please just watch what you say because although words can be forgiven, they cannot be forgotten and it is easy to say things we do not mean when our emotions are elevated. 

You WILL be ok despite the fact that you don’t feel like it at the moment. Everything feels better when you are in love. Do not close down to the possibility of loving again. When we hit rock bottom, we bounce back up and sometimes twice as high, meaning we end up with a better ending. You are the author and the architect of your life. So, write a new chapter. Add new characters. Try new things. Remember, you have a purpose and you are worth it. Keep moving forward and don’t lose your way. All of our roadblocks, bumps and bruises make us stronger, build our character, and give depth to our soul. They help give meaning to our lives and help us to better understand others, which help us to connect. 

F.L.Y. First love yourself. Spend some time alone. Prepare yourself for your next true love by fully loving yourself. Make as many self improvements as you can. Be very honest about what went wrong in your previous relationship ~ sometimes we can improve and sometimes we cannot, but it is always good to be aware. Accept the situation, forgive yourself and your EX, and when you are ready move forward with excitement and full compassion. The heart is resilient and will love again. It is the ego that will hold you back.

With love and acceptance,

Libby

A Single's Guide to Holiday Survival

Whether you have been single a long time or recently suffered a break up the holidays can be a very difficult and even traumatic time. All the cheery music may make you turn your radio off for a bit even. I get it. But, I have a few tips that will help you make this holiday season better!  

 

1. Pick and choose which events you go to. In other words it is ok to decline invitations if you are not feeling up to being “on” or if you know it’s an event your ex is likely to attend. However, try not to isolate and go completely into a turtle shell.  

 

2. Choose a few new traditions this year. Allow yourself to do something for yourself that will give your holidays new meaning and give you a sense of purpose like volunteering at a soup kitchen or a toy drive! This will allow you to step away from your own grief and feel grateful for what you do have.  

 

3. Connect with nature. Even if you live somewhere cold please bundle up and get outside. Trust me on this- I don’t like cold weather, but the lesson nature teaches us is that everything is temporary. Appreciate the seasons, appreciate the holidays, find the spirit within you that is very much alive. Soon enough the next season will come.

 

4. Practice my yoga philosophy of awareness, acceptance and forgiveness. Be aware of how you are feeling, what you are eating and drinking, how you are sleeping, how you are speaking, and then accept how you are feeling. Find a song that makes you feel good. Turn it up loud and dance. Laugh, cry, whatever you need to do to set your spirit free! Then forgive your past and forgive yourself. Everything will be ok. Your future is bright. 

 

The holidays are a time time of celebration. That is hard to accept when you are going through a hard time. If this is your first year alone it may seem unbearable. Please, breathe. Try to find a friend or family member to spend the holiday with. Maybe go to a movie or watch a movie that can serve as a distraction. The first year is always the hardest.  

 

The key when going through changes in relationships is to also accept changes in celebrations of holidays. Be respectful of one another in attendance of parties ( possibly coordinate who will attend what). If you are close with your ex’s family give space during the break up and let them know you would like to maintain a relationship if possible after things settle down. If the breakup is new around the holidays it is fine to send an email explaining to friends and family that you are no longer together but you are not ready to talk about it yet. This way you can comfortably attend the parties without awkward conversations that may end in tears.  

 

I hope your holidays get back in back in full swing soon. May you be blessed with love, hope, peace, and cheer.  

 

Believe,

Libby

 

Ps... consider getting a pet for yourself. They will hold you accountable and provide unconditional love 😉 

 

 

A Little Morning Sunshine Can Change the Direction of Your Day

Whether it is a sunny day or a cloudy day, choose to create your own sunshine through positive thoughts. With your eyes closed before you are even fully awake in the morning, imagine the most beautiful sunny day that you can remember and just take a few breaths. Allow that warmth to fill your body.

Positive thoughts first thing in the morning lead to a positive day. Before you even get out of bed in the morning practice gratitude. Think of a person and close your eyes and think of things that person does that you are grateful for. Perhaps even consider keeping a collage of pictures near your bed of people near and dear, and pets that you are grateful for. Each day you can hold someone new in mind. Then, take a minute to stretch and practice gratitude for yourself. Taking these steps first thing in the morning sets the tone for your day. When you are faced with frustrating obstacles like a traffic jam or a long shopping line throughout your day, use that time to practice gratitude. Hold space again for someone or something that you are particularly grateful for. Allow a smile to span your beautiful face.  Open your eyes and look around. This will shift your energy from a negative state to a positive state of being.  

Sometimes we get so wrapped up in our busy worlds that we forget to take notice of the lives around us. Practicing gratitude helps us reconnect and grounds us.  Once we reconnect we are able to realize how good it feels to be alive. 

Get out into nature. Wonder at the trees. Take notice of the colors, the layers of the flower petals, the different chirps of the bird singing, the size of the acorns this season. Practice gratitude for all that mother nature provides for us. 

Then look at the people around you. Take notice of who smiles and who is busy looking at their phone, who looks sad or angry. You see, every day may not be great, but there is something great in every day when our eyes, or more importantly our hearts and souls are open to seeing it. When we live with eyes wide open and hearts wide open and practice gratitude, doors open and abundance is there for us because that is the Law of Attraction. Begin your day this way and direct your thoughts in the direction of your goals. Good things will come to you. 

Keep it simple.  Keep it positive.  Keep it clean. Keep it loving. 

Shine on,

Libby

PS, This is a particularly wonderful time of year to start your gratitude practice as we approach Thanksgiving. Maybe consider starting a gratitude jar where each family member can contribute one thing each day that they are grateful for another person and sign your name. Fold it up and put it in the jar. Then on thanksgiving, before or after dinner, take time as a family to read each gratitude note out loud.  Watch the energy rise as you all learn new things you are grateful for about each other. You can also do this other times of the year. 

I am sooo grateful this season for each day, for each person I share my life with, and for each breath. I am grateful for laughter, for love, and for the seasons of change. 

What the World Needs Now is Love Sweet Love; 3 Ways to Combat Violence using Yogic Philosophy

There is so much tragedy in this world. The sad truth is we are not guaranteed tomorrow. However, it is important to step out of fear and darkness and live the life we love each and every day. Go after your dreams, tell the people you love that you appreciate them, and say the things that matter. Horrific incidents, such as the massacre in Las Vegas are reminders to Live the Life we Love EVERYDAY. We have to try to find something positive in everything bad or we run the risk of feeling helpless and depressed. As we send healing prayers and hold the families who are grieving today and in the coming days, weeks and months in our hearts, it is important to use this time to rise up and come together as a community.

Terrible events like this mass shooting, as well as any obstacle I come across in my personal life, remind me to return back to my personal Yoga Philosophy.  There are three main principles that I live and breathe by that have helped me get through countless difficult times including; my physical and verbal abuse, recovering from PTSD, counseling and supporting others, helping my parents go through physical set backs, nurturing my own children and the ups and downs of my daily life. The following three principles when followed will truly lead you to a better place; one of growth,  lightness, clarity, strength, compassion, and most importantly a place of universal oneness.

  1. Awareness - It begins with the physical practice on the mat and carries into daily life. Be aware of your words, actions and feelings. Then be aware of those around you.
  2. Acceptance - Accept yourself exactly where you are in each moment. You do not have to be perfect, you just have to show up and try your best. Strive for progress. And then accept those around you where they are, as well. Let go of expectations.
  3. Forgivenesses - Forgive yourself for any mistakes you make along the way. Consider those mistakes a way to learn and grow. Forgive those around you. Holding grudges and shaming people causes resentment and negativity.

Above all practice self love. First Love Yourself (F.L.Y.) then love all others. Once we realize we are all in this together, the feelings of separation, anxiety, hatred and violence vanish and unity takes their place. Once we get to this place of ONENESS, life is beautiful.  

Of course, in times of mass shootings the subject of mental illness arises as we search for a reason for how and why a human being could take so many innocent lives. And then, of course, there are issues of gun control that feed our fears and cause more division among us. The truth is we will never have all the answers, but let's avoid circular arguments that make us feel self righteous and realize that such acts of hate most often, at their roots, result from an absence of love and other stigmas that make a person feel an overwhelming sense of darkness.  

When someone in our family suffers from cancer or another disease, we wrap our arms around them, bring them meals and nurture them with tender loving care. But when someone we know is diagnosed with a serious Mental Illness, our discomfort and shame often hold us back from helping and comforting them because of the negative stigma associated with a serious mental health issue. That person then isolates and disconnects from society. When they withdraw, their perception of reality becomes even more distorted. These stigmas around mental health issues create even more damage in the long run and contribute to the downward spiral of the person who needs love, support and treatment from mental health providers. Mental health is not a topic that we can afford to sweep under the rug and out of sight. It should be talked about and treated like any disease. 

In my research I discovered some startling statistics that I would like to share with you about mental health. 1 in 5 American adults have a mental health condition - thats over 40 MILLION Americans. Mental Health problems among our youth are also on the rise. In 2011 8.5% were depressed and in 2014 that number rose to 11.1%. What is even more startling is that 80% of those youth were either insufficiently treated or not treated at all. Compound this with the media’s negative attention on horrific situations such as these mass killings, and the people who need help tend to shy away and hide rather than coming into the light to seek help. 

It is not wrong to view mental illness as a disease, but to assume it is hopeless and to associate it with shame only worsens the situation. The last thing we want to do is make the person feel so desperate and void of love, connection, emotion and empathy that they become compelled to murder. Also, people who play video games while isolated, often disassociate the feelings of human connection with real life people. This process of desensitization can carry over to real life violence when one’s sense of reality becomes completely blurred. 

Ultimately we need to turn these tragic events into a time to reflect on love. It is a reminder that what the world needs now more than ever is Love Sweet Love.  What we ALL need is love sweet love. Don’t allow yourself to get caught in the negative energy of this sad occasion. Instead hold the lives of the people lost up with the honor that they deserve. They were special people. They each had a story. They each had a dream. Unfortunately, for reasons that we will never understand, their lives ended too soon and abruptly. May peace be with their families and friends.  

There are many things in life we cannot understand. It is important, however, that we simply keep going. Pray and believe that better days are coming. Continue to give love. Understand that it is ok to feel every emotion and it is also ok to not know and not to understand why this happened. 

Fall reminds us that life is ever changing. Take a moment this season to reflect on what really matters to you. Use this time to set your intention for how you can become the best version of yourself. Live the life you love TODAY, tell the people you love that you love them! Just as the trees shed their leaves, think about a few things you might need to let go of in order to make room for improvements in your life. You were created to be a joyful and successful being. Connect with friends and family. Avoid isolation and reach for the stars!  If you feel that you might suffer from a mental illness, do not feel alone for there is hope and help for you.

Remember that light always overcomes darkness, just as love overcomes evil. When we love ourselves we are able to love others. So I ask you especially in these times of darkness to dig deep, plant your roots of compassion and shine your love light. Show the world that peace and love will conquer evil and that love is really all that we need. 

Love and Light,

Libby

 

P.S. ~ If you are experiencing symptoms of depression, suicidal thoughts or PTSD, there are people who can help you. Witnessing a horrible event like the concert shooting in Las Vegas can trigger symptoms for months to come. If you were at this concert or have friends and family who were there, please practice awareness, acceptance and forgiveness. Be gentle and loving with yourselves. I am sending you healing vibes and much love.

• Click here for PTSD Hotline & Crisis Phone Numbers

F.L.Y. - Put your Oxygen Mask On First

You were born with a distinct and unique purpose. You have a gift and a story to share with the world. For some of us that purpose seems more obvious while others may search a long time wondering what their purpose is. Many of us are given labels and titles, put into boxes, and programmed to think small from a young age, which makes it very difficult to find our authentic voices. We put on "masks" to escape the shame and the fear that has been cast upon us. To find our true selves we must follow our passion and do the things we love, come into the light and remove "the masks." Replace fears and insecurities with courage and self-love to propel us toward our greatest dreams. This is the journey of the self, to the best version of yourself. It starts with awareness, acceptance, self-love and forgiveness. Be authentically YOU. Appreciate YOU. Accept YOU. LOVE YOU! Until you do you cannot fully love or be loved, and you cannot accomplish your full potential. 

You were born to live a joyful life. Again, you have a purpose! You are capable of achieving all of your dreams. Commit to taking baby steps toward those dreams each day. Trust the journey. Stay in the moment and always believe. Just show up for yourself each day and do your personal best.  

I am humbled and honored to have been recently sponsored by Avon. They have asked me to facilitate a series of yoga events for up to 200 people in each session. I was ecstatic as these would be my largest events to date. This is one of my dreams coming to fruition, traveling and leading yoga events. However, this also scared me to death. I have what it takes to deliver, but I knew that I would have to push past my comfort zone and face my anxiety head on or I could never reach my full potential. I had to push forward to grow so that I can eventually manifest my ultimate dreams. 

Last Saturday I taught a class for a large group of beautiful ladies and gentlemen at an Avon conference in Columbus, Ohio. As I walked into the room literally trembling, I flashed back to my first yoga class and how scared I was THAT day as a student and remembered that each person in the room might have the very same insecurities, which put my fear back into perspective. As I was introduced I looked out and connected immediately with the smiles. That was all I needed. I knew it was all ok and I knew in that moment that my job was to put them at ease and suddenly everything was calm and clear. My purpose was clear. My intentions were clear. My heart was clear and full of love to give. I want to ultimately lead events with upwards of 2000 people so I might as well start with 200, right? Heck YES! 

I called them up to the stage for a team building exercise. Many, not all, bravely participated. I saw a little girl still seated shyly at her table. I quietly encouraged her to join the group and I was thrilled when she courageously did (imagine what that decision to step out of her comfort zone might do for her future confidence?)! The smiles on their faces as they opened their hearts and leaned back while closing their eyes and trusting one another, balancing in tree pose, was absolutely heart warming. I will never forget that day. Each of those people on stage have a unique story. Each have a dream. I now have the privilege of knowing them and I am so thrilled to have been in their lives even if only for a day.  I love it when I see people step out of their comfort zones and try something new. I love when I step out of my OWN comfort zone. It is flat out exhilarating! When was the last time you tried something new? Do you remember that feeling of accomplishment? It feels AMAZING! By stepping out we connected, which also gives us greater strength. I have found my purpose, and I am still growing. I am incredibly grateful for every challenge in my life, as well as every reward. 

Avon is just such a wonderful company.  Let me just tell you for those who are unaware, they are the at the forefront in the fight against Breast Cancer and Domestic Violence (click on the green linked words to learn more). They do a ton of work for Women Empowerment and are constantly giving back to the community. It is truly an honor to work with them. I just want to say, "thank you" to Avon personally for helping me to reach my goals and get closer to my big big dreams. It feels so amazing to partner with a company in alignment with my personal mission and intentions in life. 

When Karin Laseke, who is the District Sales Manager for Avon in Cincinnati, interviewed me to work with the company, she asked me about my personal story and what my BIG DREAM is. This really meant a lot to me and she said they believe EVERYONE has a story to tell. My yoga guru, Amber, used to say something very similar which was, "dream big Libby, dream really really big!” So, I shared with Karin that my personal vision is to travel and facilitate yoga retreats, workshops, and teacher trainings to make enough money to build a yoga retreat center, which will include a cottage on a farm. There will be a vegetable garden leading up to the cottage and then a family room, a yoga studio and a kitchen. Upstairs there will be a couple bedrooms and bathrooms. This will be a place where women and children can come and stay if they need to escape from a domestic violence situation. They can work in the garden in exchange for food so that they do not feel as if they are taking handouts. Yoga classes will also be available to the public. I have experienced physical, verbal and emotional abuse so this dream is near and dear to my heart. I have also recovered from PTSD through yoga and meditation. I want to empower women to become their best selves and know that they do not have to be a victim.  

The airlines say to put your oxygen mask on first and it’s true. You cannot help others until you help yourself. First Love Yourself (F.L.Y). Show the universe what you desire and watch it conspire to make all your dreams come true! Share the good and the bad. The thing that hurts you or scares you the most might just be your greatest asset to share with the world. The world needs YOU to show up. Be your authentic self, everyone else is taken. Live the life you love and love the life you live. I am so incredibly excited for you and I can feel the energy spiraling upward already! It’s time to step out, live your dreams and become who you were born to be!

Lovingly,

Libby

P.S. - If you are suffering from PTSD or domestic violence there are organizations that can help you. Please do not suffer in silence. Get the support that you deserve!  The following links can help you get started toward a better life:

Help for PTSD

Help for domestic violence

Reflection

We talk so much about being present and staying in the moment, and yes it is important, but it is also meaningful to reflect from time to time on your past... what worked and did not work. The truth is we learn a great deal from our mistakes as long as we do not repeat them.  

The Bean in Chicago

Sometimes we just need a break from our daily routine. We tend to be creatures of habit who get  "stuck." When we are able to take time off, or if we are fortunate enough to get away for a few days, it allows us time to reset. Experiencing new things, new places and gaining new insights provides us with the inspiration that we need to move forward. We then become more present, more productive and more happy when we return.

My Dad, with whom I am extremely close, has recently suffered a health setback. He is nearly 87 years old and the thought of not having him here with me on earth is a big hard rock to swallow, and yet I know eventually it will come and he will go on to a more beautiful place. Yet, worrying about him has been stressful to say the least.

My sweet momma last week gave me the best gift in the world by encouraging me to get away for a long weekend and to go unite with friends in Chicago, to indulge in great food and to enjoy myself.  "He is not going anywhere this week," she said with confidence as she sent me off for a much needed trip of rest and relaxation. Moms always know best! So off I went. The hard part as a mom myself was to pull away from life, from my children, from my parents and from my responsibilities, and to enjoy this time free from guilt!

It did not take me long, however... a few bites into a delicious pecan pie, a glass of Cabernet, a few great meals and a ton of walking around the delightful city of Chicago and I truly began to feel refreshed and inspired!

Thanks to taking time out from my daily routines, I am sooo ready to move forward into bigger and better things. Vacation is great, but the best part is the renewed energy upon returing home! 

When we take a break from life, even if it is a "staycation," we are able to tap into the power of the mind and redirect it into a positive mindset that will catapult us in the direction of our goals and dreams rather than keeping us stuck and weighed down. So consider taking a day or two to reflect, to connect and to rejuvenate. Love and accept yourself exactly where you are in life. Set goals for where you want to go, and then each day take baby steps toward those goals until you arrive. 

Remember, life is a great journey. Just like every road trip you take, you will encounter construction zones. You are the engineer of your life both in body and in mind, always improving, always  "under construction." Just remind yourself to keep it joyful and to chill out! Everything you feel is OK! You are a beautiful being.  

Happy Travels Peaceful Friends, 

Libby

 

Are You Working for the Weekend, or Living the Life You Love Every Day?

The phrase TGIF is commonly used to celebrate the beginning of the weekend where we drown our sorrows of the week and party until Monday when we fall back into the dreaded routine of the daily work grind. Sound familiar? This is not living! Wake up friends! Step off the hamster wheel and start to truly enjoy every day, not just the magic of  Fridays!  

It is important to find simple pleasures and live with a grateful heart. The majority of our life takes place Monday through Friday so let's enjoy that time. Consider a job doing something that you love! And if that is not possible, schedule activities with friends and family during the week that allow you to truly connect and enjoy sharing positive energy. Try not to have these activities be anything draining. For example, if you are constantly running kids to athletic practices, schedule a night where they carpool and you do something relaxing and fun! Take it easy on yourself.  

I go back to my principal roots - practice AWARENESS: know when your stress levels are rising and take a break! Practice ACCEPTANCE: allow yourself to have fun and quiet time during the week. Practice FORGIVENESS: forgive yourself for working so much, or for whatever you need to personally forgive... this is a constant journey.  

Life is meant to be lived. Sometimes it is only through devastating events like death or divorce that we realize the things we missed out on. Please, do not wait until it is too late. Treasure each moment each day! You are so worth it! Honor your inner child at every age!

Time is precious!  You can always make money, but you can never get time back. And remember that happiness is an inside job, In other words, it's an emotion that we chose to express. So make time and space to do things that truly make you happy! 

Wishing you an inspiring life and hoping that this inspiration carries you into a week that you look forward to living! Be it through music, food or a bouquet of flowers, simple little things each day can make a big difference. Live, love, laugh EVERY DAY like it was Friday!  

 

Live the Life you Love, Love the Life you Live,  

Libby